High insecurity about my own body

[Benvolio]

There are, of course, guys who like very hairy guys. I suggest you advertise on craigslist or other dating sites, as a thin, hairy guy and see what response you get. You seem clearly to be exaggerating your dissatisfaction with your face. The cleft chin is usually considered attractive, and sharp features are more attractive than a fat face. Some people will consider you ruggedly handsome, I think. Do try the dating sites. A few positive responses will change your outlook a lot.
The more serious problem you mention is the Barrett's esophagus. I assume you have actually been diagnosed by endoscopy etc and are consulting a Doctor and taking medicine for it. As you probably know, it can lead to cancer.

 

[Benvolio]

Most gay men are unhappy with the way they look. A straight man does not want to look like the beautiful women to whom he is attracted, but the reverse is true of gay men. We often judge ourselves by impossible standards. I suggested the dating sites as a way to find guys who like your type, and boost your ego. You might also look at the guys on Rentboy.com, not to find an escort, but to see that there are guys who boast about how hairy they are and who apparently get paid by guys attracted to hairy guys.

 

[KaraBulut]

The things that you cite as obstacles or imperfections - the weight, the body hair, etc - are all things that can be changed.

However, the question is, if you change them, would it change your overall feelings about yourself? The anxieties, insecurities and body dysmorphia are really at the root of all these issues and is a good reason to see a therapist who specializes in these areas.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

I like hairy guys. Accept your body the way it is; you're not going to get another one.

 

[RaKroma]

If Nair burned you, try something else like Veet for sensitive skin and carefully follow instructions. Many guys don't realize that with depilatories, you have to work in manageable sections. Burns happen often when the cream is not removed in time and covering large areas at once does slow you down in how fast you can remove the product, contributing to prolonged exposure of product on the skin. Also if you are very hairy, trim down the bulk of hair before you apply a depilatory, this way the process is more economical, efficient and removal time is decreased.

 

[CowboyBob]

It sounds like you have more self-esteem issues than body issues. You're going to have to live in that body all your life so the necessary thing to do is accept yourself for what you were given. Everyone looks at handsome celebrities and wishes they looked like they do. Fortunately they're not the norm.... you're the norm.

Everyone has something about their body they're not happy with..... too thin, too fat, too hairy, not hairy enough. Everyone is like this.

Don't want to sound like a cliche, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to eat right, exercise.... just move around more and not stay too stationary and rest when your body tells you it's had enough.

The older you get the more body hair will appear. It's going to come out of your ears, nose, chest, back.... places you never thought it would grow. Unless you want to go through the trouble of waxing or shaving you can admire your testosterone self. I don't think there's much you can do about stretch marks but it's a reminder you lost weight. Besides, a lot of bodybuilders have stretchmarks. A porcelain complexion is a dream everyone has but unless it's in your genes it's a no go.

Cleft chin? Cary Grant has one and he's gorgeous. Not photogenic? I have a friend who's handsome in real life but take a photo and he's not. Don't know why that is but it happens.

Regarding health problems..... I don't want to sound harsh but even tho you've had a lot of them and I sympathize with you, there's a lot more who have had much worse. When I was in my early 20's I was on kidney dialysis, had a kidney transplant, bi-lateral hip replacements, several hip revisions, shoulder surgeries, back surgery, a couple of strokes and am now battling cancer. I've never once felt sorry for myself because my motto was no matter how bad I have it someone always has it worse.

I've seen people younger than me die on the dialysis chair. I've lost friends much younger than me from surgical complications. When things are put in perspective we don't have it so bad.

Sorry for the sermon but I was on a roll. Don't be so hard on yourself. I'll bet you're much better looking than you think you are. I was talking to another Jubber who thought he was ugly and had no self esteem. He showed me his photo and he wasn't.... I thought he was very handsome. It's all perspective.

 

[CowboyBob]

Thanks for your concern about me, but that's not the issue.

I'm sorry there were heartless people in your life who've only looked at the outside shell of you and not what is underneath. I"ve heard hurtful things many times in my life but what I've managed to do is to consider the source. It's those people who are ugly because of their shallowness.

Hopefully you will be able to look at yourself for the kind of person you are, not just the outer layer. As I've said before, I'll bet you're not ugly. Just because someone said that doesn't mean they're right. Anyone who places value judgments on outward physical appearance isn't secure themselves. You need to look at what you're good at and the positive things about you and focus on them and I'll bet there are a lot.