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His name was Ryan

FanofFiction

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I was in high school when I developed my first serious crush. It was almost unhealthy how much I wanted him. There was something about him. He was unlike any man I had even met before. You could not really catagorize him. He was a jock, captain of the football team. He was a redneck, lived with his father in the woods, wore plaid, and drove a pick up truck. He was metrosexual, he wore hair product and sporty cologne. He was macho, buff and gruff. He was sweet and funny.

I never told him how I felt. He was staright and I was deep in my closet. I stared at him every class we had together. I silently enhaled deeply when he passed me in the hall. I even tried snatching a peek one day when I saw him at the urinal in the mens room. He caught me and smiled politely, then proceeded to mutter, "Queer."

He was tall, muscular, and very toned. He had dark blonde hair, just long enough to show how wavy it was. His bright blue eyes and stunning white smile always took my breath away. He often wore steel toed boots and low rise jeans with a fitted tee, covered by a fitting plaid shirt. The next day he would be wearing khakis and a black sweater over a white polo shirt. He was fashionable while never losing his obvious masculinity.

On the last day of high school, after he turned in his field jersey... I stole it from the box of jerseys in the coach's office. When I pressed it against my face I could smell him. His sweat, his cologne, his smell. I quickly stuffed it into my bag and left the office. We never really talked in school- his jersey was as close as I ever got to him.

A few years later, Ryan was little more than a fond memory. I had no clue what he did after school. I figured he probably stayed where he was raised as hunting and fishing were so important to him. Everytime I saw a blue pick up truck, I took a second look to see if it was Ryan behind the wheel. Alas, I never saw him.

But then, one day, my car broke down on the highway on the other end of the country. I was on a business trip and it was getting late. I was far from my motel, far from anything really. All I could see was cornfields and open road. I groaned and started walking the long road to find a gas station. My cell was getting no reception and I was stuck. As I walked the lonely road, I heard crickets and wind pass through the stalks.

Before long it was pitch dark and pretty chilly for summer. I couldn't see much farther than the hand in front of my face. I was relieved when lights from the front of a car appeared in the distance. As the lights grew brighter, I could make out the shape of a SUV. The vehicle slowed as it approached, the window came down and the soft voice of a woman greeted me, "You look like you need help."

"I do. My car broke down and I'm sort of stuck out here in the middle of nowhere," I answered. I looked the woman over, she was pretty. She had a vague familarity about her. "If I could get a lift to a gas station or something..."

"How about I drive you to my house, you call CAA or something and wait until morning? The nearest gas station is closed for the night. You are stuck for sure," she smiled and motioned for me to get in.

I thanked her as I got in the passenger seat and buckled my belt, "This is really too kind of you. There must be some way I can pay you back," I shook her hand.

"I don't suppose you play poker?" she replied.

"Poker?" I was caught off guard. "I'm not... I don't know how to play?"

She smiled graciously, "We'll teach you."

"Who's we?" I asked as I glanced around the interior of the car.

"Me, I'm Amy. My brother Ryan, some friends. We need another player," she pointed to a picture on the dashboard. It was difficult to see inside the dark car. "You sound like a maritimer. You're not from around here are you?"

"Just here for business... Kind of. I'm looking for a job," I answered. I squinted and made out the photograph. It was a picture of my hostess and Ryan, MY Ryan. This was too good to be true. Was it a dream? "I know him! Well, not really. We went to the same high school. What are you guys doing out here?"

Her eyes widened, "What are the chances?" she exclaimed. "You haven't seen Ryan since high school?"

"No," I whispered, still in shock. "I saw all his games. He was a killer on the field."

She shook her head, "You're in for a surprise." Her voice wavered and she sounded nervous or possibly upset- I couldn't tell. "I hope you are not homophobic."

My heart stopped, "I'm gay."

She smiled, looked at me and then laughed, "Good then. You won't be weird. Ryan came out after high school." She glanced at me and rolled her eyes, "As if we couldn't tell."

"What are you talking about? I never got the gay vibe off him at all! I was practically in love with him in high school. If he had been out, I would have come out!"

She chuckled, "I guess I know my brother better than you. I always knew."

My stomach churned, my heart raced. I could not believe what I was hearing. Ryan was gay? Since high school? Since his whole life? I thought of the wasted time in the closet. I thought of what could have been. "Why didn't he come out?"

"Our father is a redneck. A man's man. He might not had accepted that. Ryan never wanted anything more than Dad's approval. Dad died weeks after Ryan graduated," Amy explained, "Not long after that we moved out here together and Ryan met a boyfriend. A farmer. Looks like Tom Welling."

Just my luck. My biggest crush turns out to be gay and he has a boyfriend. On top of that, it's a hottie I could never compete with. Still, I was excited to see him again.

To be continued...
 
Well this sounds like a dream come true. I wish something like that could happen to me with a couple of my high school crushes...lol
It will be fun to follow this path.........

Craiger
 
This Is A Great Story. Kinda Sounds Like My First Crush Dylan. He Was The First Guy I Everdreamed About. I Caint Wait To See How This Unfolds. :)
 
I thought about posting a fictional end to the story. But in the end, I decided to post what actually happened. It's not as hot as the other stories I posted, but it's kinda nice regardless.

We pulled up to a rance style farm house. The lights were off in most of the house and three cars were parked in front. Amy parked next to the garage and got out of the SUV.

"This is really great of you. I appreciate it," I spoke as I too got out of the car and glanced at my surroundings. The place was humble, quaint.

We entered teh front door of the home which I noticed had been left unlocked. The interior was rustic, it appeared aged but also well kept. It reminded me of how Ryan looked in high school. Ryan always looked rugged and manly while taking great care to his own personal upkeep. "You have a beautiful home, Amy."

"Thanks," she replied, "Take off your coat. Make Yourself at home."

I slid out of my long coat and placed it on a coat rack nect to a series of denim jackets. I followed Amy down the long and narrow hallway to the sound of laughing and talking at the far end. We entered the kitchen, it was brightly lit and simple. There was a large circular table centered in the room and around it sat a few familar faces; most significantly was Ryan's.

Ryan looked at me as though he was at total odds with what to say. I didn't think I left that much of an impact on him, he barely noticed me at all in school. He blinked and and stood up with his classical mischievious grin, "What are you doing here?" He reached out a hand and offered to shake mine, "Alex, right? We went to high school together?:

"Y-yes. How are you?" I stuttered as I gripped his hand. He had large hands, firm hands. But they were soft, he used lotion likely. What a metrosexual!

"Good. So, where did Amy find you?" He smiled as though we were old friends, it should have put me at ease but this was all so surreal that I found myself feeling very uneasy.

"Side of the road, a ways back. My car broke down, I was stranded," I regained some composure in my voice but that only masked my lingering nervousness. "You look good?" my heart sank, I said the wrong thing and it came out sounding like a question. Stupid.

He shook his head, "Thanks," he grabbed an unopened beer off the table and offered it to me, "Have a drink?"

In high school I used to daydream about laying in the back of a pick up truck with him, drinking, kissing, watching the stars. But I don't drink often and when I do, it's not beer. I raised my hand to decline, "I don't really drink..."

Amy placed a hand on my shoulder, "Sure you do, could I get you something else?" She was so sweet and kind that I felt bad for not remembering her from high school. Maybe she wasn't this nice back then. A few short years can change people incredibly.

Ryan sat back down and sipped from his bottle, "There's still some coolers in the fridge in the garage," he paused, "Drake left them."

Amy hooked her arm inside mine and directed me out of the kitchen, back into the long hallway. When we were at a safe distance she explained, "Drake was Ryan's boyfriend. The one I told you about. The reason he moved out West."

"I thought they were still together?" I whispered back at her, "He's single?"

She giggled, "It was pretty recent. I don't think he's ready for a rebound."

"That's not exactly what I meant," I lied. Of course it was what I meant. My biggest crush of all time was gay and single! "I just meant, that's too bad."

Amy accepted my faux explaination and guided me into the garage, "Have whatever you want. I don't think it will be missed. Nobody here drinks coolers."

I felt slightly embarassed, "You don't either?"

"I'm a beer drinking girl," she exclaimed proudly. Apparently the redneck ran in the family. I quickly realized she had a sort of Daisy Duke quality to her, I found it charming.

We reentered the kitchen and Ryan pulled out a seat for both his sister and I, on either side of him. I sat down to his left and twisted the lid off my drink. "Thank you for the drink."

Ryan paid little attention to the gratitude and began dealing cards. The other players who sat around the table were both old faces I knew from home and two new faces that I presummed were from around here. Everyone was wearing jeans and either plaid shirts or plain black tees. Only Ryan was dressed differently with his solid white wife beater and a pair of red board shorts.

Ryan had amazing calves.

After the game (which I did very poorly at) some of the company loaded into their cars and left. Only Ryan, Amy, myself, and Tim remained. Tim was also on the football team with Ryan. Tim was also attractive but in a boy next door soft of way. Not nearly as inticing as Ryan. He had dark black hair and green eyes, much more slender a build.

We sat on the front porch and drank while doing what else? Watching the clear night sky. By now I was on my third cooler, which was enough to give me a solid buzz. My three companions sat in silence. It seemed as though a long stretch of time passed before Ryan finally decided to break the solitude, "I want to apologize to you Alex."

I craned my neck around to see him. His voice was deep and heartfelt. He gripped the bottleneck with both hands and he stared at me through the dark of night. "I was a dick to you because I knew you were gay. I shouldn't have been like that. I'm really sorry."

My heart broke for him. I could tell that he was carrying around a lot of weight on his shoulders for a long time. First, hiding in the closet and then the guilt of being homophobic. "It's okay Ryan. I don't care about that."

Ryan pushed on, "No, it's not okay. It was wrong and I'm a dick." He shrugged his huge shoulders and his chest heaved as he took a deep breath, "I must have made high school hell for you."

Tim stood up and disappeared into the house, Amy sat quietly and watched her brother. She was wide eyed at what was likely a rare occurance. Her gaze then shifted back to me.

"To tell you the truth," I gathered all my inner strength, "You made high school livable for me. You were the hottest guy in my world. You certainly helped me from skipping too many math classes," I stopped there, not wanting to sound like a stalker or desperate.

I hoped it would make him laugh, but it seemed to have little affect on him. He merely grinned and looked down at his feet. "You were kind of cute too. I checked you out a few times."

Now I was floored. He never noticed me because he was covering up. It made sense now. I was popular in high school and so was he, it never made sense that we wouldn't at least cross paths occasionally. I smiled from ear to ear. "Thank you Ryan."

He stood up and placed the beer bottle on the banister. He opened his arms and muttered, "Give me a quick hug."

I wasted no time in doing just that. I sprang from where I was sitting and wrapped my arms around his rib cage. He hugged me back with his strong arms and placed his cheek next to mine, repeating one more time, "I'm sorry."

When the hug ended I noticed that Amy had a few tears in her eyes. I smiled at them both, "I can't tell you how much that meant to me."

Ryan replied, "I believe everything happens for a reason. You being here tonight proves it. Thank you Alex."

Nothing more sexual happened then that. I slept on the couch and ate breakfast with Tim, Ryan, and Amy in the morning. Ryan drove me back to my car and waited with me for the mechanic to arrive. He gave me a hug goodbye and a small peck near my ear. I watched fondly as he got into his truck and drove away. I have never seen him again.
 
A very heart-warming story, FoF. Thanks for sharing it with us!
 
Time has a way of changing things. The fantasy of rekindling a high school crush seems so exciting and wonderful, however, as the old saying goes, you can never go back.
That was a heart warming story and I am glad you wrote the true ending, sad as it may be. As Ryan said, things happen for a reason even if it takes going across the country and happening upon an old crush. Thanks for sharing.

Craiger
 
Thanks boys. But my other stories aren't this nice. The other ones are really really raunchy. So if it was the sort of bitter sweet bromance in this that you liked, you will hate my other stuff.
 
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