Homophobic "straight" cousin

[Toy-Boy]

I've been having this problem for a while now with my male cousin. It never fails that every time I see him, he's always putting me down or making subtle homophobic comments towards. "Why are your pants so tight?" "Why do you listen to that?" "Why do you do this?" Why do you do that?" And I'm thinking to myself, "Why do you care?!" I just wanna be myself, and be left alone. And the things is, I never have problems with other so-called macho, straight men. He's the only one who gives me a hard time about who I am. However, he's also one of those macho, over-the-top straight guys who can't fathom that there are other men out there that don't behave like him.

Any advice?

 

[vader63]

Sounds like he may be one who "protests too much" and is insecure in his own sexuality.

 

[swmjck]

Tell him to fuck off and then kick his ass

 

[Seasoned]

Asked him how many questions he has and then tell him you have a comparable number for him. There are also other options: "what an odd thing to ask," "why would you need to know that?" "frankly, it's really none of your business," "let me think about that and get back to you," or "have you been getting suggestions to dress more like me and aren't quite sure to pull it off? I'll be happy to take you shopping."

 

[sixthson]

Invite him to suck the fat one.

 

[willsboy84]

I've been having this problem for a while now with my male cousin. It never fails that every time I see him, he's always putting me down or making subtle homophobic comments towards. "Why are your pants so tight?" "Why do you listen to that?" "Why do you do this?" Why do you do that?" And I'm thinking to myself, "Why do you care?!" I just wanna be myself, and be left alone. And the things is, I never have problems with other so-called macho, straight men. He's the only one who gives me a hard time about who I am. However, he's also one of those macho, over-the-top straight guys who can't fathom that there are other men out there that don't behave like him.

Any advice?

I don't think there's anything you can do really. Some people's minds you just can't change. I have alot of cousins, and we were all really close growing up, but even before I officially started telling people I was gay, they started pretty much cutting ties with me. I don't get alot of outright hostility, but more of a feeling of them being embarrassed about having a faggot in the family....

I miss how we used to be, and sometimes I feel like maybe I should make more effort to reconnect, but then I come to my senses and realize that I shouldn't HAVE to. They live their lives, and I live mine. Sad as it might be, it is what it is.

 

[Shepherd 2]

Sounds like he may be one who "protests too much" and is insecure in his own sexuality.

Vader, I would lay bets on it. Stay clear of him. He may not indeed be gay, but most likely a pedophile. I had a straight cousin who did some horrific things to me as an early teenager, and none of it was good.

Check out my blogs for the whole story.

Shep+

 

[Diodorus]

How often do you have to be around him? Those are the kind of relatives I live without. Life is too short. Make your life YOUR life. Either keep away from him or tell him to mind his own business. Latents, if that may be the case ,are suppressing a lot of crap and you don't want to be around for that explosion.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

And I'm thinking to myself, "Why do you care?!"

Well there's your problem.

the verbal abuse continues because you let it happen.

stop "thinking" it.. look at him and say "because that's the way it is." If he presses you on it, say something like "OK, you seem to be spending a lot of time cross-examining all of my fashion, entertainment and grooming choices... why is it so important to you why I like the things I like?"

Or just "I don't need to defend myself to you or anyone else... how about you stick it and I'm going to go back to watching Glee, ok?"

 

[Runewell]

Yeah, you said it yourself. You should ask why he even cares so much, and to get off your ass. That is unless, he's actually fascinated and wants to know more lol. Hey, you never know

 

[USEDCAR]

Man he sounds like fun i wish i could deal with a macho homophobic straight guy i would mess with him so badly he would hate me.

I would just play along every time he makes a comment tell him hey were cousins stop checking me out! and if he makes fun of your clothes being tight make fun of his clothes being loose.

I am the king of being made fun of teased etc i know how to handle those kind of people and the thing is play along with them act stupid with them when he asks you questions ask him questions back.

Because if you cuss him out if tell him to leave you alone then hes going to do it more,.

 

[AverageJoe]

On the other hand, maybe he really does wonder why you do the things you do. He might just suck at being tactful. Let's face it, you both sound pretty different.

You could always try giving him a few honest answers instead of feeling insulted. Maybe it'll open up a conversation.

 

[pallenk]

is he doing it in a hateful way? or a playful way that is just getting on your nerves? because i know me and my friends give each other hell. and i always playfully pick on the people i really like. if you are unsure, the best thing to do is talk to him about it. i mean. i could understand comments like "you stupid fucking faggot". but, i used to make comments to my bff about not knowing how he could even walk because he likes to wear his pants so tight they cut off the circulation below his waist. and he would do the same thing to me.

 

[lambdaboy]

Every time he makes one of these remarks tell him If you are so straight why do you care.

And then fuck off