How can I talk to him...

[hairbway207]

Hi guys. Okay so there is this guy who is a year younger than me that I talked to on grindr about 3 weeks ago (and he hasn't been on since) and then I had seen him on tinder and we both "liked" each other and talked a bit there, but something happened and my phone deleted the app. But now I found out that he works at the starbucks I go to at the mall. He's waited on me a few times but I don't know if he remembers talking to me (we didn't talk THAT much, nothing past small talk) OR if he's even out... so basically I don't know what to do because when you're on line at starbucks you can't just say "hey i saw you on grindr!" especially if he's not out.
So how can I connect with him? I found his Facebook because we have a mutual friend(a guy I used to work with) but I don't know what I should do, any advice?

 

[Ambition92]

I would add him on Facebook and see what happens. If he accepts the request then obviously he's interested. If not…maybe ease back or message him on Tinder again to see what's up.

 

[Seasoned]

Add him on Facebook then message him, reminding him who you are.

 

[TX-Beau]

Hmmmm, why do you have to mention Grindr? Can't you just say online, if he remembers you he'll remember you.

 

[Ganoderma]

Send a friend request at Facebook and say hiii to him when you meet him again in real life. Don't worry if he is out or not, just be friendly / nice / kind to him.

By the way, are you (more or less) out? Don't worry about this topic too much. No need to mention Grindr.

Good luck!!

 

[hairbway207]

By the way, are you (more or less) out? Don't worry about this topic too much. No need to mention Grindr.

More or less. I will tell people if they ask me flat out but I'm not going out of my way to tell people or make it obvious.

The thing is I'm not 100% sure he's gay... He was on grindr (a gay app) about 3 weeks ago and then we had "matched" on tinder around that same time. On tinder I had selected it to show me only men but does that mean I'm only seeing gay men? or all men?

 

[G-Lexington]

I can't say as I've met any straight guys who are on grindr. Or at least, any "straight" guy on grindr is probably interested in meeting/dating/having sex with other guys.

Feel free to say hi at Starbucks. You might re-introduce yourself and say "we've chatted online a couple times", and leave it at that.

Lex

 

[Telstra]

I can't say as I've met any straight guys who are on grindr. Or at least, any "straight" guy on grindr is probably interested in meeting/dating/having sex with other guys.

Feel free to say hi at Starbucks. You might re-introduce yourself and say "we've chatted online a couple times", and leave it at that.

Lex

Some straight guys are very sexual, they fuck anything lol

 

[hairbway207]

So i re-downloaded Tinder and while swiping saw his profile was still there so i "liked" and swiped right...now I'm just waiting to see if he likes me back on the app. don't know if it's my best idea

 

[TX-Beau]

So, how does this work? He sees you "liked" him then he "likes" you and then what? Does he know you are the guy in the coffee line? If you're too shy to speak up in person, is this going to make things easier? Or are you just toying with the idea?

Little tip, it's far more efficient to hit on guys out there in the meat world. All those intangible factors jump right out and you don't waste a bunch of energy on cyber-bullshit.

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Not to mention he isn't in control of everything you know about him.

 

[hairbway207]

Basically you "like" someone, they don't know if you have or not, but if they "like" you too then the app lets you talk to one another.
Well I got coffee from him yesterday so he might remember me...
I've never really hit on anyone in person and I am shy. I don't know if I necessarily want anything to happen but I wouldn't mind if it did

 

[TX-Beau]

That sounds very roundabout. The thing about confidence (confidence WILL get you laid) is that it requires practice. Speak up in the coffee line. You don't have to offer your ass, just chit-chat will do, and then build a rapport from there.

Forget the webiste.

 

[Ganoderma]

hi hairbway207,

Thanks for your friendly reply. Good to hear you don't hide that you are gay. I assume you don't have told your good friends that they are not allowed to tell others that you are gay. Just assume that most people around you are aware that you are gay (and otherwise you will tell them). So also no need to pretend you are straight.

I fully agree with G-Lexington. 100% straight guys don't have a profile on Grindr and don't like to chat online on such kind of sites with other guys. No need to worry about this topic.

Also no need to tell him you are gay. Just try to give him a very slight compliment, eg about his hair, his eyes, his clothes (etc.). Straight guys will never make such compliments to other random guys. Be friendly to him and always say hii to him.

So why not send him a friendly message through Facebook a few hours later / later that evening after you had a coffee at Starbucks and you have met him over there?

Good luck and take care.