How did/do you know?

[The_Aviator]

Hmmm...

I don't know really... I'm just more attracted to guys! I've never done anything sexual with a guy either (unfortunately) but I know that I'm gay.

Sure there is some hot women out there but they're not for me...

Interesting question though...

 

[runner]

it's the guys that I watch that I check out, that I think "Man, he's cute!" And, of course, there is what I look at/watch when I jerk off. And, it's not women.

This was pretty much the case with me. When I realized that it was the male that was the object of my sexual fantasies.

 

[Steppenwolf]

My stepdad asked me the same question when I came out to my Mom and him. "How do you know you're gay if you've never done anything?"

My answer was that I just know. I've always known. Whether you openly admit it to yourself, evade reality by trying to convince yourself that you're probably just bi and not really gay, or fight it entirely, is another matter.

 

[1st love ron]

How do str8 guys know that they like girls even though they have never been with one? Kind of a non-question...

 

[Yves]

^^^^^
Agree. You just feel it deep inside. You may decide not to listen to it or block your feelings but that´s another issue. I didn´t need a sexual experience to know I was gay.


This is from the American Psyschological Association website:

Human beings cannot choose to be either gay or straight. For most people, sexual orientation emerges in early adolescence without any prior sexual experience. Although we can choose whether to act on our feelings, psychologists do not consider sexual orientation to be a conscious choice that can be voluntarily changed.
http://www.apahelpcenter.org/articles/article.php?id=31

 

[shyguywpg]

By the time a boy hits puberty and all the guys in school are hot and bothered for the girls in school while the boy sits quietly on the sidelines being all hot and bothered for the guys in school, and this lasts for several years, then the who "going through a phase" issue is tossed, and the realization of homosexuality should set in!

You dont need to have sex to know you are gay. Nor do you need to have sex to know you are straight.........

 

[drhladnjak]

I certainly didn't need sexual experience to be sure I was gay. Still, at least for me it all seemed somehow theoretical until I started getting some more hands-on experience. As time has gone by and I've been involved with more guys, it has only solidified my confidence in my sexual orientation. Becoming more confident about my sexuality has lead me to be more comfortable with myself which in turn has helped me continue to develop as a person. So why I think you can know you're gay without sexual experience, gaining that experience (in whichever ways are most comfortable for you--from casual sex to sex in a commited relationship) is important for the development of a healthy gay man I think.

 

[mojoe54]

So my story is this-- I had a couple of girlfriends in high school and we kissed alot but never went any further. I went away for my first year of college, but when summer break was coming around I was still a virgin, and decided I didn't want to end my first college year in that woeful state. So I actually made a concious decision that I was gay and wanted to lose my virginity with a man rather than a woman. I hooked up with another gay guy on campus, and I have to say my first time was wonderful, and I knew immediately that I had made the right choice for me. I did sleep with a woman once a few years later, just to see what I was missing, and found out that ,yes, I really was 100% queer-- well, 99% anyway!

 

[luminum]

I just knew because I found guys attractive visually and I wanted them emotionally and sexually.

A good question to ask is how do heterosexuals know they're heterosexual if they've never been with a member of the opposite sex?

 

[Therobbyshow]

I knew because I was always more attracted to guys...that was pretty
much my clue. I went thru the whole having sex with women thinking that
I was just young and didn't know any better and that I would grow into
liking women, but it never happened. And I never had a shortage of
women either...I just finally just realized who I was and stopped fooling
myself. Now I'm 25, going on 26 tomorrow and I kinda wish I had
lived my way earlier. But oh well, I guess I'm not ancient yet

 

[Roland00]

Okay if you are bi or gay... get next to a hot guy, and this will happen. Heart rate will increase, breathing will increase, your senses heighten, your hair feels like its on ends, you are more likely to blush, your muscles may appear slightly bigger due to increase heart rate, you seem stronger due to increase blood flow, you may get an errection. You may not notice this, but unconsciously you will have desire and wanting.

All these symptoms occur with guys and arrousal/attraction, most don't realize it till you describe it to them and then its an instant memory. It is usually easier explaining to people that are straight what its like to be gay by describing these symptoms, "you know when you near a hot girl" it seems like your blood is on fire, your skin tingles, and if you touch pure electricity, than to say I have always known I am gay. People instictly understand the symptoms of being arroused and they just connect deeper than you explaining I have always known, an appeal to their rational part of their brain.

 

[luminum]

How did/ do you know you're gay if you had never been with a guy(sexually)? Is it a feeling? Or just a "knowing?"
...
So, even though I've never really done anything sexual with a guy - I know I'm gay.

A good question to ask is how do heterosexuals know they're heterosexual if they've never been with a member of the opposite sex?

and to answer luminums question u dont need to fuck someone to know ur orientation its about which sex ur attracted to, its more then getting off

Uh...thanks?

 

[blueboi05]

Like most, i just knew. I guess i only starting realising (consciously) i was different on the onset of puberty.
Although i remember at a very young age playing with my mum's makeup and dresses, so i guess i knew all along in away.