I've been here for years and never talked about anything because I am scared. I have told two friends that I am bi, but they both are still homophobia (hate that word). One accepts me. The one I really want to care about me still doesn't understand. I have know him for 15 years and he hates homosexuality. How do I get him to accept me? I have to have both of them understand before I tell everybody.
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How do I do it?
- Thread starter justmick
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hylas
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there is a reason the annual gayfest is called "pride": be proud. your "friend" hates you? hate him right back. you dont need him. you pick your own friends, and i dont see why you would pick a guy who hates you for being bi despite being friends for 15 years.
good luck with your coming out!
btw, the adjective is "homophobic"
good luck with your coming out!
btw, the adjective is "homophobic"
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What defines acceptance to you?
Does it mean that you want to be able to talk about hot guys with them just like they talk about hot girls to you?
Does it mean that you want them to accept guys that you date just like you would accept their girlfriend in the group?
Or do you just want things to be like they always were?
If you're looking for 100% immediate acceptance, that's not a realistic expectation. You held back some information from them- with one of them you withheld information about your sexuality for 15 years. It's not realistic to expect 15 years of deception to just become irrelevant overnight. Give your friends a chance to come to terms with it in their own way.
You can say, "I don't want things to change in our friendship and if you have questions or an opinion, just fucking say it. I don't want there to be any awkward silences or inaccurate assumptions." But ultimately, you're going to have to let them deal with this in their own way over time.
P.S. Stop using these two friends as an excuse to continue concealing the truth from other people in your life.
Does it mean that you want to be able to talk about hot guys with them just like they talk about hot girls to you?
Does it mean that you want them to accept guys that you date just like you would accept their girlfriend in the group?
Or do you just want things to be like they always were?
If you're looking for 100% immediate acceptance, that's not a realistic expectation. You held back some information from them- with one of them you withheld information about your sexuality for 15 years. It's not realistic to expect 15 years of deception to just become irrelevant overnight. Give your friends a chance to come to terms with it in their own way.
You can say, "I don't want things to change in our friendship and if you have questions or an opinion, just fucking say it. I don't want there to be any awkward silences or inaccurate assumptions." But ultimately, you're going to have to let them deal with this in their own way over time.
P.S. Stop using these two friends as an excuse to continue concealing the truth from other people in your life.
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
If a guy won't accept you for who you are, then he's not a friend. He's a guy you hang out with. A real friend will put up with and accept your lousy taste in music, and your fanatical following of the local sporting team, and your weird fashion sense. And he'll put up with and accept the fact that you like guys. He might joke about it from time to time - friends do that - but he won't give you grief about it.
Stop waiting for him to accept. Start finding other guys who DO accept. They're out there.
And perhaps a bigger point...
>>>I've been here for years and never talked about anything because I am scared.
Of what? Scared the green gay gargoyle's gonna swoop down for some surprise buttsecks?
We're pixels on the screen. We can't hurt you. If you get offended, turn the computer off. Start interacting more. You may find some self-confidence yet.
Lex
Stop waiting for him to accept. Start finding other guys who DO accept. They're out there.
And perhaps a bigger point...
>>>I've been here for years and never talked about anything because I am scared.
Of what? Scared the green gay gargoyle's gonna swoop down for some surprise buttsecks?
We're pixels on the screen. We can't hurt you. If you get offended, turn the computer off. Start interacting more. You may find some self-confidence yet. Lex
Audio Tech
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In my short time on JUB, I have found there is much wisdom here. Read it again and follow it.
Real friends don't care. Fake friends you don't need.
Real friends don't care. Fake friends you don't need.
ucfknight12
On the Prowl
If he is your true friend he would accept you NO matter what... Also re-read all of the above. I am just typing to give you an extra vote of confidence in Kara and Lex's posts 
~ D
~ D