how do i fix this....

[JSRD]

hey guys...i just need to get some input on what i can do with this relationship. it all started awhile back when i met this straight guy and started to crush on him. bad. i really really thought he was cute and was totally into him. and of course being the stupid gay that i am told all my friends. so this went on for awhile and i knew he was straight. i never was going to do anything cause i really really wanted to be friends with him atleast. also i had like met his girlfriend and she was super cool so i didn't want to do anything to fuck up their relationship. so anyway he moved away for a semester to go to college and during this time i got alot closer with his girlfriend. like i said she was super cool. so he moved back and went back to work(we both work at the same place) and a few months go by. something seemed different though. like we use to hang out outside of work and stuff but not much anymore. like i would invite him to things and he would just be like 'nah no thanks..' and shit. i didn't really think about it much till i was just told that one of my 'friends' had gone behind my back and told him that i had liked him. totally not cool. esp since she still denies she did it even though 4 different people who don't know are telling me. ANYWAY the more i seem him the more stand off ish he seems. his friends who told me he knows says he was fine but it seems he is so akward around me. and it's just getting worse cause now i know he knows. i don't think he knows that i know....anyway sorry for rambling, how can we fix this. i just wanna go back to being friends before he knew and shit.

 

[hackingnomberr]

The only way is to confront him about it or have your friends confront him about it.
People talk, I'm sure your friends that are his friends have spoke about your friendship with him at one point or another.

 

[hackingnomberr]

Have your friends confront him? Ok, sure, I can see that if you want to be passive agressive and all that jazz.



Look. If you guys were cool before, call him on out on it. "Dude, what's changed between us?"

Be a man and talk to him. Hell, tell him you know that he knows you told your friends you were crushing on him. And if you're not doing that anymore, tell him it was a stupid infatuation you're over with. You're both adults, so talk to him like an adult.

DO NOT play those passive agressive games... "go ask him why he isn't talking to me." "what did he say? well how'd he say it." ... That won't get you anywhere in life. And by communicating with him directly you get the added bennefit of being able to tell your side, explain, and perhaps make him feel more at ease.

Communicating directly is WAY more difficult than just hearing stuff through other people. Not to mention you may not get the truth if you go straight to the source, a lot of people don't operate like that. I agree that communicating directly is the best way of going about it, but that's just not easy and may not get the results you're looking for. If you ask someone why you're not as close to them as you used to be, most people will be dishonest and just say, "What are you talking about, nothing's changed!"

But then when your back is turned they'll totally tell the real story. Sorry if that's a bit pessimistic, but it's way more realistic.

 

[videoboi08]

talk to him and tell him you know he know you likes him and see if you guys can be friends and just move on.

 

[KaraBulut]

There's two problems here:

The first problem is that you still have a crush on this guy. You've turned it into a friendship but you're still needy. Your friend senses this and that's why he's being standoffish.

The second problem is that you have someone that is a friend and a coworker and there's tension between the two of you. That is something that you need to clear up. Don't make the assumption that it is because your friends told him that you like him but if that does turn out to be the issue, then own it. But be clear that you are just friends and you don't have any other expectations.

 

[rareboy]

DO NOT play those passive aggressive games... "go ask him why he isn't talking to me." "what did he say? well how'd he say it." ... That won't get you anywhere in life. And by communicating with him directly you get the added benefit of being able to tell your side, explain, and perhaps make him feel more at ease.

Exactly....

 

[G-Lexington]

I'd say start putting some distance between you two. Even if he's acting weird because he found out you're crushing on him, the real problem is that you're crushing on him. A straight guy. With whom nothing is going to happen. You need to get your brain back into that spot where you accept him as completely and solely a friend, and not as a friend where maybe, if you just say or do precisely the right thing, just maybe... No. Friend. Only. Stay distant until you're cool with that.

Secondly, stop with the accusations. She says she didn't do it, and no matter how much "evidence" you pile up, she's going to keep denying it. Either pretend she didn't do it, or if you're heavily pissed about this, drop her as a friend.

Lex