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How do i not ruin a freindship?

T

thesniper

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Theres this boy who goes to the same college as me and were good friends but ever since the first day ive just fallen in love with. At one point i was about to grab him and just kiss him. At night i even think about him. When im around him i cant stop looking at him and thinkong about him.
Im afraid to tell him because it may ruin our freindship. Ive noticed he has gay tendencies and hes very open but im really afraid of his reaction. I when tell him so many things and other times just ask him out but either way im afraid what would u do?
 
thesniper said:
Theres this boy who goes to the same college as me and were good friends but ever since the first day ive just fallen in love with. At one point i was about to grab him and just kiss him. At night i even think about him. When im around him i cant stop looking at him and thinkong about him.
Im afraid to tell him because it may ruin our freindship. Ive noticed he has gay tendencies and hes very open but im really afraid of his reaction. I when tell him so many things and other times just ask him out but either way im afraid what would u do?
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geeesh thats exatcly how i feel with my college friend
i dont want to ruin us tho or feel awkard
iam trying ti subtly allude to a gay relationship with clues but i dont think he is picking up on them

the feelings get so strong you just wanna push em against the wall and lay one on them and think about the consequences later :gogirl:

i know how u feel:kiss:
 
My friend I would be real cautious and give serious thought about whether or not you want your relationship to become sexual. Sex can sometimes get in the way of a great friendship. I lost a good friend of 8 years because i pressured him into having sex. It was great for a couple of months but it soon became a complication for him. Don't get me wrong I have a couple good friends that I have sex with and it works, however it didn't with this friend and now we never speak to each other. I wish you luck with your friend, I would just suggest you take your time, explore all the pros and cons and decide whether or not you think you and your friend could handle having a sexual side to your friendship.
Be careful......
 
My sophomore roommate in college had a crush on me, and it pretty much destroyed our relationship because it was not mutual. I liked him very much, but I thought he was straight when I met him (We were 18-19 at the time). He wrote me long love letters for a very long time detailing his obsession with me (which I never understood), and this was very difficult for me to deal with.

You have a friendship - he might not want it to be more than that, and so I would advise extreme caution.
 
It sounds like you've got a good thing going.

Friends, guys that you connect with, are pretty hard to find. Even more difficult are finding those friends who are willing to stand by you when life throws obstacles in your path.

Sounds like the only obstacle that you're suffering from at the moment is your attraction with him.

I took a chance years ago, and told my bestfriend that I was in love with him, and that I would like to have sex with him. He was really cool about it. Essentially he told me that we could be friends, or nothing at all. The choice was mine.

I chose the friendship.

He's been married about three times now, I've had countless number of boyfriends, and through all of that we've never been more close, or more in love with each other "as friends." I wouldn't trade any of that for one night in the hay with him. :)

Not one. [-X

You might try coming out to him first, and see what his reaction is. If he's turned off by the idea of having a "Gay" friend, then he's not friendship material to begin with. If it turns out that he's Gay too, or even questioning, I'd be extremely careful about any physical entanglements until the too of you have discussed where things might go.

I've got a lot of Gay Friends that I've never slept with, and to do so would be like sleeping with my sister! :bartshock

So if he to has feelings for you, even if he's straight, you might want to consider that as well. ;)

Good Luck! (*8*)
 
well i dont about the sex, and i do beleive i told him im gay once, but he may haev forgotten and hes really not one on talking about sex or even his past girlfreinds, but one of his X's appearntly turned 3 of her boyfriends gay so maybe thats a sign? but im goona try to open him see what he thinks about gay stuff. Im just tired of the feelings for him hey restrain me from having a nice normal freindship, i just wish i knew if this was love or just a bad crush that will go away?
 
^ Well I searched around the internet to try to find something to definitively help you out here, and this is probably the best that I could find:

12 signs that your crush may be the one

You membership profile says that you're 19. There are so many things going on in your life right now, that everything can seem to be a little overwhelming.

When in doubt, try to follow your heart while keeping in mind "which" head you should be thinking with. (*8*)

Keep us posted.

Being honest with yourself, and with him are always the best options. If he's not interested nothing can change that. So respect him, by respecting yourself enough to move on.

It's like playing the Lottery, you have to play in order to win. :)
 
Leave it to him to make a move.

Stop obsessing. Let him be the perfect fantasy for the rest of your life.

In the meantime, just be the best friend you can be.
 
thanks for the help i dont think the 12 signs works, i havent asked him yet and hes not gonna make the first move, i think im just gonna try hanging out with him more often and bring stuff up in conversation to give him hints
 
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