How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareback?

[light]

My boyfriend of about a month has been pretty insistent of barebacking me, but I told him no each time. He seemed adamant that anal sex isn't as good with a condom, and no, I haven't had anal sex before (I'm inexperienced sexually), so what we've been doing has mostly been up to oral sex.

I'm pretty paranoid when it comes to health, especially when it comes to HIV/AIDS - he told me that he has taken a proper HIV test this March (that means going for the test 6 months after his last sex, and no sex at all during the duration of those 6 months), and it came back negative. I forgot to ask him if he had sex after the test, but I'm pretty sure he did (he's travelling abroad now, so I've no way to contact him until a few weeks later).

I'm 20 years old, and he's 36 - and we do mutually like one another. However, I've a feeling that this issue of barebacking will tear us apart - I don't know how to convince him to use condoms because he kept telling me that it wouldn't feel good.

Any suggestions/opinions on this?

 

[momp57]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

Dismissed!

 

[G-Lexington]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

"You're not gonna bareback me. Period. There's some lines I refuse to cross, and that's one of them." If he says you put out or he leaves, hand him a map to the door in case he gets lost.

Anal with condoms feels great if you do it right.

Lex

 

[bbzane]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

Don't bareback! Think about yourself first

 

[light]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

I'm just curious - to those of you who are in a relationship, do you guys use condoms all the time?

I don't want this relationship to end, but I expect to have serious talks with him about this when he gets back.

 

[racer2438]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

Your personal safety is formost important..

He needs to respect your wishes. If he does not do that now, he may not do it later.

?-did you see his test results or did he just tell you?

be carefull he does not take off condom before you have sex as he may take off as you can not see from most angles.

If he continues to pressure you need to make a decision to continue this relationship.

I did not have unprotected sex with my bf for the first 6mo. After that we did but we know we can trust each other and are secure in our relationship---now together for 24years.

This is uncalled for and dont back down no matter what he says.

other wise point him to your door and tell him see ya later.

Stand firm no matter what.

 

[G-Lexington]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

>>>I'm just curious - to those of you who are in a relationship, do you guys use condoms all the time.

Until we were together in a monogamous way for about a year, yes. Actually, we still do for anal - makes clean-up easier.

>>>Barebacking is the best way and the only way to have good sex even with strangers.

And I bet you're really popular with the kiddies.

Lex

 

[josher]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

If he truly loves you, he would respect your wishes.

Do not give in. If he's barebacked even only once since that test, he could be infected.

Were I in your situation, and he was pressuring me, I'd tell him he had to decide between continuing the relationship with safe sex or breaking up.

And at his age he should consider himself damn lucky to have you.

 

[chrisied]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

If he loves u, he shouldnt keep asking u. the only way to make sure that unprotected sex would be to BOTH got to a GUM clinic and both get checked out. But obviously he needs to only have sex with u and noone else.
I have barebacked before, but trust me, it feels pretty much just the same as with a condom. But honestly it should not be done, it is just too risky, and since he is more experienced, i would not do it. Just keep telling that it is a no, but if he keeps going on about it, i would dump him.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

This guy sounds like a jerk. Of course he's had sex after testing. He's only been with you for a month and he's already pressuring you to bareback. Who knows how many times he's hooked-up or had relationships where he's barebacked multiple men. If barebacking is the only way he wants to have sex with you, then barebacking is the only sex he's been having!

I would not trust this guy. Do not trust this guy. He is trying to exploit your virgin status.

 

[chrisied]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

yes i agree with the above. Get out now!! Find someone closer to ur age would be my advice and one who is not a complete ass hole. I think he is more of a death trap than a lover

 

[light]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

Thanks for the advice guys.

Like I said, I'll definitely talk to him again when he's back - it's either safe sex, or if it has to come to that, a break up.

 

[theFallenGod]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

Honestly dude... if you have only been together for a month and he's pulling this kind of stunt with you I would not be so willing to give up your virginity yet.

He's out for your virginity not your comfort.

He wants a notch in his belt.

 

[Lube]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

I can't believe nobody said to say this:

"I don't want to bareback."

 

[KaraBulut]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

He seemed adamant that anal sex isn't as good with a condom,

That's pretty much an indicator that he's going to be too selfish to worry about getting you off when you bottom for him.

I've a feeling that this issue of barebacking will tear us apart

You're right about that feeling. If he wants to play in your sandbox, he'll put a condom on it. If he's serious about you, then he will respect your wishes.

And if he continues to pressure you, trade up to someone whose is more interested in what you want.

 

[stokeboy]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

You should never do anything your not comfortable with and a good boyfriend would never force you to or keep pestering you.

 

[trawler69]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

Some are born with red pubic hair (and that can be really hot sometimes).

Wow a baby with Red pubic hair? Hot? nah!

 

[Soilwork]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

"But dude... with a condom I can't feel anything..."

"Listen, sport, you put the condom on or you're REALLY not going to be feeling anything, ya know?"






All kidding aside...

1) find a curb

2) kick him to it.

There's no point starting a relationship with a guy into barebacking. First, he's gonna have to spend all his money on meds and not on gifts for you and second, since any guy with brains won't bareback, you'll never have sex.

Find a guy worth finding and give this one his walking papers.

 

[treanir]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

My boyfriend of about a month has been pretty insistent of barebacking me, but I told him no each time.

I agree with all of the above and I just wanted to add my applause to you for making a good choice and standing by it. Well done.

 

[Elwood]

Re: How do I tell my bf that I don't want to bareb

It is your body and your choice! If he can't deal with that then show him the door.