How do you cope up with being teased a sa gay inside the class room

[skibby]

You stand up for yourself. Tell the teacher, co-workers, boss, principal, teammates, etc. that you're gay and that you expect to be treated like anyone else. It's the only thing to do. People are a lot less likely to pick on someone who doesn't act like a victim.

 

[Storybook_Man]

I usually just ignore the person and don't even give a reaction, who cares what they got to say.

Now if they touched me, that would be a different story ^^.

 

[dr_beat]

Puff up and be proud. Makes ya look good (and scary too).

 

[modernaire]

You stand up for yourself. Tell the teacher, co-workers, boss, principal, teammates, etc. that you're gay and that you expect to be treated like anyone else. It's the only thing to do. People are a lot less likely to pick on someone who doesn't act like a victim.

Best advice you could get. You gotta let people know that it's not acceptable to disrespect you. God forbid it gets physical, but the same rules would still apply...be brave and fight back. You could be setting an example, you never know.

 

[stripes]

i thought this was the bisexual/straight guy thread

 

[modernaire]

yeah, that's right Cum4me. Advice from someone who is self-described as being 'psychologically scarred' is exactly what he needs. You obviously have too many unresolved issues of your own to be advising anyone. Especially if you can't even stand to be around large groups of men and have anxiety issues about intimacy.

And you're so out of line to generalize people and say that we don't know what we're talking about. I was called a 'fag' throughout elementary and jr. high cause I almost exclusively had female friends at school. I remember changing in the bathroom instead of the lockerroom cause I too was uncomfortable around large groups of guys at one point. So don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. You don't have to be 'out' to have a sense of self-worth. By the time I entered high school, I still wasnt sure what my orientation was, but I got fed up with other ignorant assholes trying to decide for me and decided to defend myself when the situation called for it. My whole 4 years there, only one incident occured where someone called me a 'fag' and that was the last. You have to tell people how to treat you, otherwise you'll be their doormat all your life....as I'm sure you know.

 

[modernaire]

yes b/c someone who's "bisexual" knows completely what someone that is gay goes through

My name isn't welcome

lol. you have GOT to be kidding me with this. I'm outdone.

 

[inner_voice]

stand up and fight.
every person who deals with some issues (apart the gay one), such as weakness, extra pounds, small height etc MUST learn how to stand up for himself. noone else will

 

[moto]

acceptance is the most important thing in our situation. not from others but from ourselves.
i know that its difficult for you to know your orientation because that really takes a lot of time and thinking.
it was only recently when i realized im bisexual, and so i thoughtt that knowing what i am will put an end to all the pain i feel whenever i get tease.
but acceptance means that you should be able to accept what others would say to you and teasing will no longer hurt you,
now whenever my mom or ther people go ask if im gay or thinks im a fag or something i just smile and think im glad you know, so it wouldnt that hard for me to tell all of them.
but it all depends on how you react to them, show them that you got no problem being tease as gay for obviously your not straight. take it as a good thing that at least you dont have to hide yourself and that the only discrimanation happens within you. ​

 

[JNewYork]

If you're from the state of New Jersey, here's what you do. There is a law now that holds schools liable for this type of abuse, just as an employer would be held liable.

So go to the principal and complain about not only the kid, but the TEACHER who said nothing while it went on. I'm fed up with TEACHERS who take the "boys will be boys" attitude, as if harassment and abuse of gay people isn't all that important.

Complain to the principal. Or call the teacher out on their behavior. Say publicly, in the classroom, to the teacher: "You're not going to do anything?"

Then get up and walk out and march right over to the principal's office. Tell them to call your parents, tell them you will bring legal action upon the school and the teacher in particular for creating a HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT for you.

I don't know what the laws are in any other state, but I'd say do the same thing anyway. Administrators and teachers shit their pants when you threaten legal action. Everybody is so scared of losing their jobs.

So DO IT. Do NOT tolerate this bullshit.

 

[Singularity]

This may not entirely apply to the issue but I remember once when a guy in art class would not stop babbling. I was standing at the teacher's desk trying to ask a question. Being distracted by the jerk, I grabbed the class book, excused myself from the teacher and went to whack the book over that jerk's head and said "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see that coming." I went back to the desk, put the book down and proceeded in asking the question.

 

[dav242]

first off, why IS this thread in this forum? moderators - should this get transferred to hot topics or something?

also - i know i'm in for more verbal lashing by posting here, but i just wanted to note that attacking each other/singling each other out on these forums doesn't help the situation. you guys know that.

it's human instict to defend ourselves by attacking other people, but in doing so, we're just as bad as the str8 bullies.

modernaire - it looks like you've become a bully yourself by taking it out on a guy who's already pretty fragile. my guess is he closed his account because you scared him away. was that your intention?

i'm not defending cum4me. he didn't exactly respond in the best way. but in the end, he was just trying to relay his own experience and note how his experience was different from yours.

i personally think all your comments are great/helpful - even yours modernaire. i agree that we should fight back.

but - and you know this as much as i do - not all gays are the same.

we have separate issues in addition to our sexuality that might prevent us from being outspoken. for cum4me, it was a combination of being the short guy + being gay.

he should've been less confrontational in his response, but you should've been sensitive to his own experience. besides, the essence of his message is that his situation was completely different because he had another thing working against him - his height made him an easy target.

so to the OP: there's no one right way to deal with this. standing up for yourself is important, but you may not be the type of person that can do that just yet. and if you can't, then take it to other people - principals, teachers, authorities.

with that said, though - i think, with age and experience, you grow tougher skin. that's not a satisfying piece of advice, but it was true for me. i had similar experiences in grade school being the short kid, a minority, the boy that hung out with girls, etc

all those things made dealing with homosexuality 100X harder. but, as i got more and more comfortable with myself, as i made more gay friends, as i developed a better self-image and body-image, i was able to confront who i was and feel comfortable in my own skin.

back then, it would've been hard to stand up to bullies, given my size/stature, given that i didn't hvae other gay friends. if that's the case for you, then go straight to the teachers, principals, authorities. hell, take it to GLAAD or HRC if you're having a really tough time.

but the one thing i want to point out - yes, it's important to defend yourself, but ask yourself this question - what are you defending yourself from??

if someone's bullying you and physically/emotionally harming you, then definitely defend yourself or seek authorities.

but if someone's asking, 'hey are you gay? hey are you queer?," we should ALL have the balls to say, "yes i am and i am DAMN PROUD of it."

it's who we are, and there's no shame in it.
with time, you'll definitely grow more and more accepting of it and less and less weirded out about being upfront about your sexuality.

remember, it's ONE part of you. that's all. and it's nothing to be ashamed about.

it'd just be like me asking you if you had blonde hair. it's a product of genetics, development, and a whole slew of environmental factors that we've yet to understand.

the answer is simple: "yes, i have blonde hair. and, yes, i'm gay."
that's it. end of story.

that said, it's all circumstantial - if you're in a situation where you're going to be physically harmed or beaten up, then don't answer - go straight to authorities.

for me, the threat of physical violence and hate crimes is the one reason to shut up and go straight to the authorities.

but, if you're just talking to another person in a civil situation where there is no threat of violence, and he asks jokingly, 'you're not queer, are you?,' have the confidence to say, 'yeah, i am.'

the fact is - it's who you are, and there's not a damn thing wrong with it.

and re: the term "fag" -
i say, treat it the same way. in linguistics, it's called resignification - taking a derogatory term used against us and embracing it.

because once we've turned a bad term into a good term, they can't use it against us anymore.

when someone asks if i'm a fag, i tell them, "yeah. i am. you got a problem with that?" or "yeah, i am. and i'm damn proud of it."

they usually shut up afterwards.

people like easy targets, and if you're uncomfortable and squirming, they're going to continue to attack and make fun of you.

but if you're confident and unwavering in your response, they'll be less prone to keep dogging you.

and if they have a problem with you being gay, then that's THEIR problem for being closed-minded idiots. that's on them, not you.

i'm in no way justifying or apologizing for people who use "faggot" in a derogatory way. it's disgusting to me. but i'm just saying that we can turn those words around, embrace our queerness, embrace our homosexuality, embrace who we are, and use it to our advantage.

it took a few years for me to find that confidence and find self-acceptance (it's an ongoing thing, i think, for all of us), but keep working at surrounding yourself with people who are going to support you and help you realize that who you are is who you are, and being gay isn't wrong. because that sort of positive reinforcement will speed up the process in building that confidence.

 

[JNewYork]

Disagree. I'm not embracing the word "fag."