How do you Find the Strength

[PipRosi]

to ignore the horny "come visit me" messages of someone you know to be immature, toxic, thinks he's a god (okay, he says he's a "pharaoh") and gift to the universe, but who also is also, like, really really ridiculously good looking? I DO NOT wish to have further contact with him. He's too much a testeroney muscle-head now. But he's still inviting me to his psychedelic gatherings and asking when I'm coming to see him. How do I just put him off, but not like make him angry? Did I mention he takes penis drugs so will come at me with a giant rocket ship erection?

 

[cityboy-stl]

What?

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Give him the cookies girl. Make bad decisions, life's too short. Nobody's ever been on their death bed like "Gosh I really wish I hadn't had amazing sex with that hot guy."

 

[Peloso]

to ignore the horny "come visit me" messages of someone you know to be immature, toxic, thinks he's a god (okay, he says he's a "pharaoh") and gift to the universe, but who also is also, like, really really ridiculously good looking? I DO NOT wish to have further contact with him. He's too much a testeroney muscle-head now. But he's still inviting me to his psychedelic gatherings and asking when I'm coming to see him. How do I just put him off, but not like make him angry? Did I mention he takes penis drugs so will come at me with a giant rocket ship erection?

I'm sorry, I just came so I'm not feeling very sexy right now.

 

[PipRosi]

Give him the cookies girl. Make bad decisions, life's too short. Nobody's ever been on their death bed like "Gosh I really wish I hadn't had amazing sex with that hot guy."

Also though, he lives in this weird bus caravan thing. And he tweaked my nipple in a way I didn't like last time I saw him.

I wonder whatever ended up happening between Daria and Trent. He seemed a liiiiiitle pot-induced slow in the head for her.

 

[cabinfever]

One tip - go for the vibe and/or the substance - not the looks .

You have to retrain your brain. I am talking from experience. I mostly attracted super aggressive "good looking" (BARF) men when I was in my 20s who thought I should immediately be attracted to them because they were "gods" or because they were everyone's dream (YUCK) in their own minds but they disgusted me - or even worse men who thought we would "look good together" (BARF BARF) I was with one of them for a couple years and he was an abusive fuck.

If I wanted to waste my time I could think of much more enjoyable ways to do so than to put up with that superficial toxic bullshit.

Good luck with the whole situation!

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Looks... who cares about looks?

 

[PipRosi]

One tip - go for the vibe and/or the substance - not the looks .

You have to retrain your brain. I am talking from experience. I mostly attracted super aggressive "good looking" (BARF) men when I was in my 20s who thought I should immediately be attracted to them because they were "gods" or because they were everyone's dream (YUCK) in their own minds but they disgusted me - or even worse men who thought we would "look good together" (BARF BARF) I was with one of them for a couple years and he was an abusive fuck.

If I wanted to waste my time I could think of much more enjoyable ways to do so than to put up with that superficial toxic bullshit.

Good luck with the whole situation!

Is this partly an American thing or what? I feel like the culture is doing something weird to these men's brains.

I've had others like that. Like I remember there was this really beautiful looking bass player at these funky jazz jams I used to go to who one night took me aside into a darkened room and became bizarrely sexually aggressive. Very squeezy pinchy forceful. It was a 'thanks but no thanks!' situation and I slipped back to the party. I later found out he's some kind of serial rapist.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Also though, he lives in this weird bus caravan thing. And he tweaked my nipple in a way I didn't like last time I saw him.

I wonder whatever ended up happening between Daria and Trent. He seemed a liiiiiitle pot-induced slow in the head for her.

Opposites attract. Im anticapitalist and my bf is materialistic as all hell.

 

[NotHardUp1]

Monuments are attractive for good reason.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Opposites attract. Im anticapitalist and my bf is materialistic as all hell.

Just you wait until you acquire some property of your own!

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Just you wait until you acquire some property of your own!

Owning property is gross. If I ever owned property I'd give it away or convert it into a shelter or something. Thats why my man never lets me hold his credit cards he knows Id take a bunch of homeless people to the mall. He's on the "if they cant help themselves why should I?" side of the fence.

 

[PipRosi]

Opposites attract. Im anticapitalist and my bf is materialistic as all hell.

Oh, I couldn't do that. Sadly, I have to enjoy a guy's conversation and where his heart's at. A luscious bod or angelic face is not enough.

I should also say that living in a bus/caravan or tiny home etc. is excellent. Just in this guy's case, he's far from Mr. Enlightened Green Hippie Strumming in the Glen about it. He's just cuttin' costs while focusing on building his 'business empire'

 

[cabinfever]

Is this partly an American thing or what? I feel like the culture is doing something weird to these men's brains.

I've had others like that. Like I remember there was this really beautiful looking bass player at these funky jazz jams I used to go to who one night took me aside into a darkened room and became bizarrely sexually aggressive. Very squeezy pinchy forceful. It was a 'thanks but no thanks!' situation and I slipped back to the party. I later found out he's some kind of serial rapist.

It might be an American thing on some levels due to our collective obsession with image over substance but in my attempt to understand and deal with these alpha males and their assumptions I realized it is a heterosexual thing but as a society we all support it. The thing is females and males have a desire to reproduce and an instinct to keep the species going - in humans and in animals - and it drives them to find the best mate for the job so I can't really blame the men who think this way as it has been hammered in them for as long as they have been alive and like I said most everyone supports it.

I think as a gay man though we should get a break from all that crap since I am NOT going to reproduce and have no desire to do so - so I have no desire for that kind of "mating game" I like sensitive and kind men - not alpha males.

As for the rape thing - not at all uncommon - especially if you reject the guy. I don't want google to send me ads or adding my profile so I won't elaborate much but I can say that people who think they want to be raped have never actually been raped as it is not about sex but IS about control.

So - YES - our culture does play a role in it.

 

[PipRosi]

It might be an American thing on some levels due to our collective obsession with image over substance but in my attempt to understand and deal with these alpha males and their assumptions I realized it is a heterosexual thing but as a society we all support it. The thing is females and males have a desire to reproduce and an instinct to keep the species going - in humans and in animals - and it drives them to find the best mate for the job so I can't really blame the men who think this way as it has been hammered in them for as long as they have been alive and like I said most everyone supports it.

I think as a gay man though we should get a break from all that crap since I am NOT going to reproduce and have no desire to do so - so I have no desire for that kind of "mating game" I like sensitive and kind men - not alpha males.

As for the rape thing - not at all uncommon - especially if you reject the guy. I don't want google to send me ads or adding my profile so I won't elaborate much but I can say that people who think they want to be raped have never actually been raped as it is not about sex but IS about control.

So - YES - our culture does play a role in it.

See, I think it's actually even more vital that we end toxic macho culture where children (and the majority of dumbass adults) are involved. I don't see it happening without mass revolution that overhauls capitalism and patriarchy, replacing them with egalitarian systems.

And yeah, I don't think most people really want to be raped. Most just want to see some passion, like a man bein' all "I need you! Must have you now!" But one they actually find sexy and desirable. Which is not the case with rape, hence the rapeness of it.