How do you make yourself approachable?

[Rali_hates_Mondays]

We often think that beautiful people recieve loads of approaches wherever they go. However I read in another thread that their looks can be intimidating to a degree that it's difficult to approach them. Of course that doesn't mean that they don't receive loads of offers but I often hear men too timid to approach anyone "out of their league"

My question is how do you make yourself approachable without the use of cosmetic surgery? We often focus too much on looks and physical appearance to lure in any approachers. I can be really shy at times although sometimes I can be really extroverted.

 

[Oogleman]

A smile goes a long way.

 

[dkonfrost]

A smile goes a long way.

Yes!! a smile goes hundreds of miles. a pleasant demeanor sends out a great vibe. Also, avoid crossing your arms, it "closes" you off.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

What triggers 'a no go' with me is the perception that a dude is artificial. Like in a 'make-up, loads of hair gel, overdressed way'. A dude checking his looks every 20 seconds is an instant turn off. A guy radiating a self-conceited look is a definite 'no go'.

Relax, smile, look a dude in the eye and make a first step towards making a contact. Do not assume that just coz, you think you are good-looking, everyone is supposed to hit on you. You are free to start flirting with other dudes and not only sit there like a lame duck awaiting their advances.

I know a guy, who is a professional fashion model and yeah, he has got the looks and the body to kill for. He is a total bttm dude, too and claims, he would only go with a guy, who approaches him. He says, it is a top's job to get into his pants.

Sadly, other dudes, whom he desires, perceive him as 'very cold' and self-conceited. They pick and choose and his choice remains rather limited to the guys, he is really not crazy about, but who have the guts to approach him.

I'd rather be the one doing the choosing, if it is up to me.

SC

 

[Drops of Jupiter]

Confidence is extremely sexy and appealing. And, yes, a smile goes a long way.

Be natural. For those wondering if a guy is approachable... check out the eyes. They can also be very telling.

 

[sangoma]

Just be yourself and feel good about who you are as a person. I believe it will open you up to others and they will pick up on it.

 

[Christopherb36]

I douche with vinegar (balsamic) and water and splash on a little Jean Nate` after bath splash...

 

[dynk]

I assume human form and make them fall in love with me....



Seriously though - I just be myself I guess.

You are just a nice guy anyway. How are you?

 

[metta]

I don't normally make myself approachable. I grew up in a pretty reserved family and I'm a little shy on top of that. Usually, I meet friends through my friends. They kind of test the waters so to speak. It is kind a protective thing for me.....safe zone. People who know me often are suprised to hear that I'm shy because of all of the things that I'm involved in. It takes me a litle time to feel comfortable with new people. I don't think that most people would want to take the time and I don't blame them. Who has that kind of time?

 

[MRMATTX2]

I don't. I think being approachable is something that has to come naturally, and it's just not me. I've still managed to make a few friends here and there, it's just not easy for some of us.

 

[slobone]

I douche with vinegar (balsamic) and water and splash on a little Jean Nate` after bath splash...

Gosh, and here I've been douching with Jean Naté and then splashing a little vinegar. Takes all kinds, doesn't it?

 

[GoodbyeSobriety]

I am pretty much friendly to all people I meet, no matter what (looks, age, sexuality, race, whatever).

I have a somewhat dominant presence in public, but I never let it go to my head. That is crucial! Conceited people, no matter how hot they are, turn me off immediately.

Be yourself, be cool, have a sense of humor and remember that life goes on no matter what; We're all apes on this rock together.

 

[Christopherb36]

Gosh, and here I've been douching with Jean Naté and then splashing a little vinegar. Takes all kinds, doesn't it?

The Jean Nate` is a bit acidic and can burn your snatch, therefore making you miserable and unapproachable. The Jean Nate` does make a lovely apperitif, however!

 

[CountryJohn]

I usually just pull out the butt plug and roll over.

I know I should, but generally I don't. Too old or too tired I guess?

 

[eric55]

A smile goes a long way, but sometimes actions speak much louder than a smile. Make sure you act friendly, talk to people, even if it's just saying "hi". I used to worry about people not talking to me until a friend told me that I looked very daunting to alot of people. He pointed out some examples until I got the idea.... Looking bored, crossing your arms, looking past or over the heads of people, that makes you look like the ice queen of the week. Just walking around with a smile plastered onyour face at no one in particular makes you look crazy. But engaging is some idle chatter, just to be social, makes you look like a human being, and reassures people that you're not going to be ignorant if they come over and say hi.

Incidentally, can someone explain to me what exactly they think is going to happen to them if they walk up to a guy and say hi? I could never quite wrap my head around that... Has everyone been so traumatized by rejection? I have always made a point of being nice to anyone who pulled it together and came to say hi to me.... Cripes, clubs are frustrating enough without having to stand there by yourself all evening listening to the same tunes and hoping the bartender (who is the only person who's said boo since you came in) is single....

 

[eric55]

New word of the day - ICE QUEEN.

So your saying you need to be active and show initiative

Absolutely. There is nothing that comunicates "come over and say Hi, I'm friendly" than exhibiting the kind of attitude you want people to show you. Especially if you are attractive or well built or what ever it is that makes you scary to approach, you have a challenge in convincing people you're going to be open to them.

In the past I've been reticent to encourage people to approach me because I was worried that I'd end up having to turn down people I didn't want to have sex with. To avoid the discomfort of that situation, I closed myself off so I wouldn't have to deal with the possibility. I also ended up spending alot of time bored and alone and wondering why. When I finally stopped walling myself off, I realized most people are way too nervous to be assuming they're going to get sex just because you've been friendly. 95% of the people whom I've chatted with in a club have just wanted someone to chat with about the music, the weather or anything. Yes, I have had to ease away from some people who ended up with an impression that there was more to it than a friendly chat, but I've always found it fairly easy to do so gently without anyone getting hurt or put off. On the whole, putting myself out there has been a positive experience and a learning experience too.

 

[dcmorgan]

I always make eye contact with people. If they look back, and I find myself interested, I smile. Smiling is always inviting. I then turn around so I face them full-on, keep eye contact, move slightly towards him, raise my eyebrows for approval, in most cases they start grinning at this point and come over.

 

[NameTaken]

Lol, I don't think peeps would approach if I'm acting "approachable" or not... Seeing as I've never been "approached" before (excluding girls... lol, cause it's obvious I wasn't trying to be approachable to them ). X_X

 

[xcasex]

I have no idea how to make myself more approachable. I'm attractive, I have a wonderful personality, I'm friendly and all that, yet all I ever get from guys are those "follow me in to the bathroom" looks and it's not that type of party. I do cross my arms a lot. I can't help that. I understand that may scare guys off a little but I can't help it. It's a subconscious gesture I have. I'm VERY protective of myself and I guess it's me showing that by crossing them. I need a reason to uncross them. Oh. That just sounded corny and what not and I really went off on a tangent.

 

[wanky_window]

Dress up as an old woman.