How do you meet guys?

[Greenherbz]

Hello,
I'm an 18 year old bi college student in Boca Raton and I really want to meet someone that I can have a legitimate relationship with around my age. Besides gay online dating websites, what other good ways is there to meet gay guys around my age?
How do you meet guys?
thanks a lot

 

[G-Lexington]

Welcome to JUB!

I don't know Boca Raton from Baco Bits, but the general rule is "to find a gay guy, go where the gays are". You might go to gay clubs, for instance, but if you're really interested in a "legitimate relationship", that's gonna be tough. Clubs are more geared towards fooling around and finding somebody to spend the night with. Fine if that's what you're looking for, but it doesn't appear to be. But are there any other "gay" places? Here in my town, for instance, there's a "gay section" of town. Art galleries, coffee shops, book stores, things like that. Hanging out there is a good place to meet people, and less likely to be a "meat market" atmosphere.

Lex

 

[Greenherbz]

I've thought about the gay club but I figured I would feel out of place there. I'm not the stereotypical gay person who likes shopping and girl stuff. I want a real man like me and I figured gay clubs would be filled with guys not like me. I've never been to one but I also dont have anyone to go with and showing up alone would just seem too awkward.
I've googled gay boca life etc. and have found surprisingly little. There is maybe 1 or 2 gay bars/clubs and thats about all ive found so far. Gay internet dating websites are filled with older guys who just want hook-ups and a lot of creeps! Plus e-dating just doesnt feel right, its too impersonal and sketchy and I feel like anyone you talk to is bound to end up going nowhere.
thanks for the response G-lex

 

[Echoes]

I've thought about the gay club but I figured I would feel out of place there. I'm not the stereotypical gay person who likes shopping and girl stuff. I want a real man like me and I figured gay clubs would be filled with guys not like me. I've never been to one but I also dont have anyone to go with and showing up alone would just seem too awkward.

then gay clubs are packed with not real men? let me say I don't agree.

Concerning meeting guys if you don't want to go clubbing and internet doesn't feel safe, you should try to find the places where guys at your age meet, even if they are not gay places, there's always someone but it will be tough.

 

[Greenherbz]

then gay clubs are packed with not real men? let me say I don't agree.

Concerning meeting guys if you don't want to go clubbing and internet doesn't feel safe, you should try to find the places where guys at your age meet, even if they are not gay places, there's always someone but it will be tough.

Damn, I figured that'd somehow be taken offensively. What I meant by "real men" was I like guys who act like guys (not fem guys).

I already know enough straight guy friends though, my problem isn't meeting guys in general... its the gay ones I'm after. Guys my age meet at clubs, parties, school, extracurricular activities etc. but I have yet to find anyone that way.

So I guess my question is, for all those guys in a monogamous relationship, how did you meet that person if gay clubs are usually just for hook-ups. I guess I could get affiliated with some sort of LGBT group at my school, but thats risky (me being in the closet and all)

 

[Echoes]

it's alright it didn't offense me or anything like that. I don't know the place you live so I'm afraid I can't offer a better answer. Though I do can tell you how I met my partner.
I was in a cafe (not for gays just a regular one, located in some random place) having breakfast and reading the news when I saw another guy doing the same in another table, I just kept looking at him straight in the eye a couple of times and that was all. Lucky me, when I finished and left the place he did the same, we walked and talked for a while and agreed on having some beers some day, exchange phone numbers and you can guess what's next. We've been together for a couple of years or so.
I know I got lucky but there was never a gay approach, only a friendly one in the beginning. Anyway, I think it's broadly known that you can notice other gays around you walking on the street, just give a look at some guys' eyes, if they look back at your eyes they're really likely to be gay, usually straight guys look away because it makes them uncomfortable. There's no harm in just looking.

best of luck.

 

[altlover85]

I've thought about the gay club but I figured I would feel out of place there. I'm not the stereotypical gay person who likes shopping and girl stuff. I want a real man like me and I figured gay clubs would be filled with guys not like me. I've never been to one but I also dont have anyone to go with and showing up alone would just seem too awkward.
I've googled gay boca life etc. and have found surprisingly little. There is maybe 1 or 2 gay bars/clubs and thats about all ive found so far. Gay internet dating websites are filled with older guys who just want hook-ups and a lot of creeps! Plus e-dating just doesnt feel right, its too impersonal and sketchy and I feel like anyone you talk to is bound to end up going nowhere.
thanks for the response G-lex

You need to get over your stereotypes. There are plenty of guys who go to clubs that are masculine if that's what your looking for. There are decent, younger guys online as well.

Damn, I figured that'd somehow be taken offensively.

So I guess my question is, for all those guys in a monogamous relationship, how did you meet that person if gay clubs are usually just for hook-ups. I guess I could get affiliated with some sort of LGBT group at my school, but thats risky (me being in the closet and all)

Yes it was offensive. If I were you I'd work on coming out or moving to a place where you can move out. Then worry about finding a man.

I'm not trying to be mean, but I wouldn't date someone in the closet and I don't know many guys that would.

If you want to find gay friends, then go do the activities you like doing and look for the guys that return your eye contact. Be careful though and if someone doesn't feel like a safe person, drop them and move on.

 

[jaybiz650]

It is difficult sometimes. I live in Maine and sometimes I feel like it's a "cock" drought up here, loll. The main thing is you have to get out there and meet different kinds of people, gay/straight/bi. Not only is it a good networking thing (he/she knows a guy who knows a guy type thing) but you also expand your circle of friends. All I can really say in summary is get out there, meet people, and don't be afraid to be yourself, you want people to meet the real you.

 

[Greenherbz]

You need to get over your stereotypes. There are plenty of guys who go to clubs that are masculine if that's what your looking for. There are decent, younger guys online as well.
Yes it was offensive. If I were you I'd work on coming out or moving to a place where you can move out. Then worry about finding a man.

I'm not trying to be mean, but I wouldn't date someone in the closet and I don't know many guys that would.

If you want to find gay friends, then go do the activities you like doing and look for the guys that return your eye contact. Be careful though and if someone doesn't feel like a safe person, drop them and move on.

As I previously said I have never been to a gay club, all of my opinions on a 'stereotypical guy' at a gay club were purely derived from TV, word of mouth, movies, etc. I just get the feeling I wouldn't find a lot of guys that were my type there.

Also, if I wanted to come out I would've already. My parents know, my brother knows, and some of my close friends know... that is it. I choose to stay in the closet because I like the options I feel it provides me. Some of the people I know aren't okay with it, and you know what? If that means not telling most people, I suppose I can deal with that. It's worth the experience of the relationship sometimes. Call them "not my true friends" or say that I'm better off with friends that accept me for who I am, but I've made the decision that as of now, its worth those relationships. I more look at it as empathetic as I used to be so brain-washed by my conservative parents and their religion. I understand that they just don't understand it-- you know?

anyway thanks everyone for the advice so far, i really need to network in general hahah

 

[Prestobesto]

Just go to the gay club. You're not going to transform into a stereotype just by going there.

And I recommend you go alone.. it's really empowering. Just don't drink too much and commit to going home alone the first time, so you have a chance to reflect on it before making any big mistakes.

 

[altlover85]

Your feelings about guys in gay clubs are mostly unfounded. You'll get a better idea how a club is if you actually go to one.

If you're out to some people, then I wouldn't consider that in the closet. I can understand choosing to tell some people and not others. However, if you meet someone and act like they are a secret, you probably won't have a very deep relationship with that person.

 

[jdoe4822]

hey josh I'm just up the turnpike from you in Whorelando and am the same sort of guy as you. While Orlando's clubs are obviously dominated by the flamboyant Disney loving Lady Gaga dressing crowd on the surface, there are some decent masc guys to be found there on occasion. One thing I've learned is that different clubs and bars appeal to different scenes on different nights so if it wasn't your crowd on sat, see what the thurs crowd is like for example. you can try a website like a4a but realize that can be a crapshoot and you'll have to sort through a lot of flakes to find the handful of real people there. in 4 years on that site, ive found one boyfriend with whom things will likely soon be over and a handful of friends (prob less than 10 than i am in regular contact with). good luck.