How do you say no to anal sex?

[ananda]

Hi

I have a question. I'm going to be spending a couple of weeks with guy I've been kinda distance dating and he's primarily a top. I've been single for ages and not that used to bottoming these days. I have IBS and am therefore extra cautious that I am clean beforehand. I'm kind of wondering.....how do you guys make sure you are 'ready' down there before penetrative sex? Is it best to slip to the bathroom and insert a finger?

And if you feel that you are not ready for anal sex, how do you say that to your partner in a way that doesn't gross them out? I mean, "I'm sorry but I need to poop first" is a bit of a mood killer

I'd appreciate your advice

 

[chrisdobro]

plan ahead. Have a conversation before things go that way.

i.e. start talking about what the guy likes in bed when you are just hanging out. Then bring up anal sex and tell the guy you are concerned about it and would like to wait to have it until you are ready.

Then plan the anal sex when you think you are ready.

Make it and understanding that you will have sex without doing anal, and only do anal when you feel you are ready. So that is have two types of activities "sex", where sex is without anal, and "anal sex", where you have the penetration. So when you say "let's have sex today", it will be understood that anal is not likely. And you can say "let's have anal sex today", which will signal that you are ready.

That way he will know what's up and you will know what's up and you can prepare beforehand, knowingly. Don't make it a spontaneous thing where you feel you may have to be ready at a moment's notice. That will work itself out later, with experience.

 

[mbamike]

I always douche before having sex. I use an anal douche bulb. Works great! You can buy a Fleet enema, pour out the solution, then use the bottle filled with warm water also.

I usually tell the guy I need some notice so I can douche.

 

[chrisdobro]

I have a pet shower hose that I sometimes use, where I removed the shower head. I plug it into my faucet, turn the warm water on and direct the pressurized stream of water up into my ass. Doing that two or three times cleans it out quite nicely, and it feels great too!

 

[ananda]

Thanks for the advice guys Good suggestion Chris, yeah, I am the kind of guy who doesn't need it to be anal sex for it to be sex...in fact, nonpenetrative can be every bit as hot.

I have an anal douche thing actually....the only thing is, I find that if I use it I have to wait a couple of hours after before I have sex. Otherwise it's uncomfortable and the lube goes watery. Maybe my ass needs time to 'dry out' after douching?

All in all, the idea of anal sex is becoming like a kind of regimented science in my head haha. I'd like it to be more spontaneous than planned, but I also want it to go right

 

[palbert]

"I have IBS and that makes anal penetration problematic for me."

 

[chrisdobro]

I have an anal douche thing actually....the only thing is, I find that if I use it I have to wait a couple of hours after before I have sex. Otherwise it's uncomfortable and the lube goes watery. Maybe my ass needs time to 'dry out' after douching?

All in all, the idea of anal sex is becoming like a kind of regimented science in my head haha. I'd like it to be more spontaneous than planned, but I also want it to go right

You can wait till it dries out yeah, or you can use water soluble lube that won't care if you have water in your ass or not. Look up J-Lube. I love it for that reason. and I love how it feels.

Other than that, with experience things will typically get easier. You will know your body, etc.

 

[ananda]

Thanks Chris, I'll see how it goes wish me luck!

 

[wrestlingobsessed]

Just wondering what IBS stands for?