How "normal" is the hookup scene?

[sosocal2003]

I deleted my account on a4a a couple weeks ago cause that random hookup business started feeling hella toxic to me.

But now I'm hanging out with someone and he just told me he has an account there.

So now I'm wondering, how many guys on here have an account on a hookup site (or regularly use craigslist)?

And what do people thing of them? Are there any online meeting sites that don't have the assumption of ending up in bed?

 

[bgTusk]

There are plenty of sites that are targeted more towards dating and chatting than just hookups, though that can be an option as well. Usually you can specify what it is you're looking for.

I haven't used any hookup sites myself, but I have thought about it. I've never done anything with a guy yet and I'm still not sure I'd want my first time to be with some random guy, but that may be where I'm heading eventually. They seem like a fine tool for people with difficulties meeting someone naturally, as long as you stay smart about who you meet with.

 

[TX-Beau]

I tried online once or twice, but found that I'm pickier than I thought I was. It's impossible to gauge chemistry over the internet, and if he shows up, and there's no spark, everyone's time is wasted. Whereas "skeezy" bar pickups I know if the guy gets me boned pretty damn fast, plus I've got a couple hours to asses the guy before he's at my door. I have no problem with the hook up.

Just because a guy is getting off, that doesn't mean he's not interested in anything else. It's kinda pointless in my book to make yourself celibate in the hopes that Prince charming will wander along while you suffer.

From almost birth, society tries to drum it into your head that sex without love is meaningless, but that's bullshit. Sex without love means exactly what it is, fun, getting off, having a good time.

If you try to make it something it's not, or you have hangups about sex in your head - such as some kind of negative opinion about people getting a lot more than you, well, don't do it.

Men have been horny little bastards since the dawn of time, and have been "hooking up" probably longer. Straight guys are no different than gay guys in that, with the sole exception that women and straight men have even more societal sex negative hangups than we do.

Wanting sex is natural, celibacy isn't. If you want to get laid, go for it, if you want to go out on date, go for that, they are not mutually exclusive.

 

[maxpowr9]

@TX-beau

There is a fine line between "hooking up" and being "sleazy". I don't know big the gay community is in Austin, but in Boston, you learn quickly who are the "damaged goods" because they would have sex with any guy with a pulse. I'm not advocating celibacy either but think with your big head, not your little head. To quote one of my favorite artists (Missing Heart): "Don't give away everything you own, cause nobody will give you back that innocence you have lost."

 

[TX-Beau]

@TX-beau

There is a fine line between "hooking up" and being "sleazy". I don't know big the gay community is in Austin, but in Boston, you learn quickly who are the "damaged goods" because they would have sex with any guy with a pulse. I'm not advocating celibacy either but think with your big head, not your little head. To quote one of my favorite artists (Missing Heart): "Don't give away everything you own, cause nobody will give you back that innocence you have lost."

Hmmm, there's a huge line between people who have self esteem issues and people who don't, and the sex isn't the cause, it's the symptom.

I don't know what your quote means. It sounds like one of those aphorisms that sound good when put to music but doesn't translate to anything really useful when scrutinized. You lose your "innocence" (if that's the word that really means whatever the writer was trying to say) by abusing yourself, not by having a healthy sex life.

Innocence isn't buying into some kind of bourgeois attitude inflicted on us by a frigid Queen.

 

[mbamike]

I have accounts on Manhunt and Adam4Adam. I have hooked up with guys from both sites without any problems. The sex has been good, sometimes it was fantastic.

 

[TX-Beau]

hope it didn't sound like I was trashing on bars! I just think it's a little hypocritical that some people would accept hooking up with a guy at a bar or club as normal behavior for a person in their 20's, but would be aghast at the idea of meeting someone online for the same purpose.

No problem, I misread your intent. Anyway I do think that the online hookup community - with it's absolute anonymity is far more "skeezy." The guys I met to a higher degree were flakier, or cheating, or way closeted, all of which I'm not interested in dealing with.

Not that those guys aren't out in the community as well, but having to actually physically leave your house to find a guy seems to filter somewhat.

Either is fine, I don't have a problem with either, whatever floats your boat.

For me, the chase is part of the foreplay, and I don't mean endless text messages from your bedroom, it's an adventure, you see the guy, reel him in, and bag him.

Maybe I'm just an old fashioned small town boy!

 

[bhandsome]

I have had my share of joining online sites. I used to be apart of Squirt, A4A, and a few others and I only went there for the reason of "hooking up".

I think apart of me didn't stick with it because I gained nothing from it. I felt like a slut haha. I worried too much about where we would meet and if they have any STD's (people can lie). Online hooking up is as much of a risk as in person but in person makes it seem so much worth while because you have the chance to get to know the person.

If I were to join an online hooking up site then I would probably would want to become friends with the person first.

 

[booyoshi]

Sex is fun. It can be amazingly hot with the right person, but it's not a game of baseball (or whatever you find enjoyable as a past time).

I value sex in the sense that if I'm going to stick my dick in you, or vice-verse, then I must know you pretty well. I'll never go out and try to hookup with someone at a bar or online dating site. For me, sex comes with a relationship and not a one night stand. I may be a prude, but it's what I believe.

Your own opinion and morals will help you if you're questioning whether you should keep hooking up with guys. Everyone has a right to do what they want to do and if having sex without being in a relationship gets you off then go for it