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How should I woo him? :)

mrbeebs

mrbeebs

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So theres this guy I've had a few conversations with, and it turns out we have a lot in common; he works at a bookstore in my neighborhood, and he's reeeaally attractive and sweet and intelligent, but I don't know if he's interested.. he kinda seems like it.. he seems to be giving me the usual signs I guess. How do I ask him out? and to what? Should I start with coffee or something.. or ask him out to a movie? I'm pretty socially awkward and thus, I can really bomb simple stuff like this, so advice would be cool.

somebody help mee
 
The movies is definitely not the place for a first date. You want to be able to talk and really get to know each other so going out for a coffee/catching lunch would be better. Is he actually gay, or are you just assuming as he is an interesting person to talk to and doesn't try to run the other way when he sees you coming? Your post doesn't really state.... Well, just in case make it a quick coffee for the first time. Talk and at the end, if he hasn't initiated it, ask him if he'd like to hang out again.
 
Movies are bad dates unless you've been dating awhile and have already heard each other's stories.

First dates for me were always one of two things. Lunch/coffee - easy out if you don't click, and possibility for going out out if you do.

Going out with a few of my friends, I call this one the tag along. He joins you and some of your friends, and he can bring some of his if he likes, the two of you get to spend some time together in a pressure free situation where you can either stick with the group if things don't turn out, or move on without them if they do.

The goal in either case is to remove the pressure, and give both of you a face saving out in case you need one.
 
glad I posted here, cause I was sooo gonna ask him to come see a film with me.

and he's definitely gay... that's for sure. lol.

and txbeau.. that sounds like a good idea.
 
I like the idea of coffee, a walk or even a trip to a museum or art gallery. Since there is a spark in the air, I'd do it soon. If the bookstore is the only place you see him, I'd stay it's all up to you, as it's not good policy for a worker to cruise a customer. Good luck. Be yourself. Have fun.
 
The problem with the "tag along" as a first date is that you may give him the wrong idea, that you just want to be friends. The tag along is fine for a 3rd or 4th date.... Assuming of course you don't have bastards for friends, who may try to pick him up or get his phone number while you have your back turned. ;). :badgrin:
 
It's all about the execution. If you spend all your time just talking to your friends he may well think you're not interested, but if you give him your attention I've never had that problem.

Plus if he finds one of your friends more interesting than you,well, not going to happen anyway.

Build in error correction.
 
Since you know where he works, would you possibly be bold enough to ask when he has a break or lunch? If so, then use that to your advantage and use that time to go to one of the nearby places (if there are any.... bookstores usually have coffee shops inside and most bookstores I know of are in areas where there are usually small places around where you can grab a quick bite) and use that 15 minutes or more to get a feel for how you guys click together. Then, just take it from there. If you don't click, it's an easy out because he has to go back to work.
 
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