How soon is too soon? (dating)

[morgaes]

I think people get too hung up in some "rules of dating". IMO there is no general rule about how long you should wait after a long term relationship, no rule about how long you should wait until you return a call, no rule about whether you should find a rebound or not, no rule about etc...

Just do what feels right to you. If there has to be a rule, it would be "don't be a dick".

You've met someone, you seem to get along. Don't let some asinine "rules" dictate what you do.

Whatever you decide you do, I hope it turns out for the best

 

[altlover85]

I agree with morgaes. I think as long as you are aware that you should tread with caution and he knows that you just got out of an LTR, you'll be fine.

 

[landers]

It happens. If you like him see where it goes.

 

[Ninja108]

The only person who can determine whether it is too early is you.
IMO,If it seems like it might lead somewhere, go for it.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

Isn't he technically known as the 'rebound guy' ???

 

[borg69unimatrix]

Everyone has baggage... it's up to you weather you decide to carry it around with you or not.

 

[bankside]

Why did you make that decision to not see anyone? Do the reasons for that decision still apply? I dunno. If you like someone, it is too late, isn't it? I mean there he is.

Neither of you need any expectations other than if you enjoy each other's company today, why not make some time to enjoy it tomorrow too?

That rule has me going on 13 years now with the same guy, and none of it was pre-planned or pre-destined, and it didn't fit a formula of when to get into a relationship, or how a relationship must be. But it is exactly how this relationship must be

 

[juicyjack]

some people can handle moving on quickly, others not so much. I went out with a guy a couple of weeks ago who supposedly liked me, but during our first(and last) date, he kept on talking about his ex, then he talked about how "over" he was about it lol. That was a huge turnoff, because I felt it showed he was still bitter and not ready mentally or emotionally. Usually the worse the last relationship ends, the longer a person should probably wait to date someone else imo. But I don't think there are set rules. Besides a good number of people overlap relationships, so I think you sure as Hell are better off than that

 

[bullwing413]

When are you going to change your "status" or is that an oversight?

 

[rotary]

I started dating 5 months after my 3 year relationship ended which was a mistake. The guy was a rebound and it wasn't fair to him. It's been a year and 4 months since I moved out and left and I'm still not over him.

3 weeks after a ltr ends is probably a little soon, but if you're ready to move on, you're ready to move on.

 

[bankside]

is he an anti-cuddler?

 

[borg69unimatrix]

Maybe I want a lovey-dovey romance where someone just can't get enough of me and expresses his desire.

You've only had, what, 3 dates?

Give him a chance! Sounds like he's taking things at a reasonable pace. Let him get to KNOW you, and fall in love with you... the REAL you... Not the clingy, co-dependant, insecure you that's throwing out "I love you's" so soon in the relationship.

Being romantic is GOOD, but don't come off TOO strong, or needy.

Don't make him think you're going to kill his rabbit!! LOL

 

[TX-Beau]

I'm going to buck the trend and tell you it's too soon. We all go through a mourning period after the end of a long term relationship.

Some guys like me, go slut wild, some guys jump back in fast to recover what they lost, some guy mope, some get angry, some are trying to find a replacement.

I don't know what you're doing but you probably should keep anything you get into fairly casual until you're sure you're not reacting to your break-up in some way - which would be entirely normal. now if you were at least six months down the road...

Give yourself time to let what ended end, before you start mixing that with something new.

Do you HAVE to get into something with this guy? Can't it just be fun for awhile?

 

[borg69unimatrix]

It's too late, Tx-Beau...

Lucky7 is already picking out China, and a wedding dress.

(Just teasin' Lucky7).

 

[borg69unimatrix]

Awww... I'm sorry.

 

[bankside]

Ugh.

I was thinking about this before your latest update but I think it still applies. You cared about the last guy that was in your life even though it was a long distance hassle. I know you thought about it a lot and it can't be far from your mind even now. That's just being human though.

It doesn't disqualify you from meeting new people; there is no time limit. But it is still something to deal with. Just be sure you are ready to offer your attention to someone who will appreciate it when the time is right.

Also the word "needy" kind of stuck in my head. Yeah, well truth is we're all needy. You don't need anything that any of us shouldn't be happy to have. Affection, support, caring, cuddling, sex all that. I don't think you can get all of that so fast.

And I know I'm in the minority so maybe this advice wouldn't work for most people, but I would find it very hard to start a physical relationship so quickly, even if I need it for balance in my life, without a lot of patience first, to be sure we were both heading the same way. I just find it really draining to go from 0 to 60 and back again in less than a week. But that's just me so mileage may vary.

Anyhow, I hope your exams go well. Focus on that, and think of it as a gift you're preparing for a special guy you meet who connects with you: if you can get this studying out of the way, you'll have more time for walks in the park with Mr. Right. Ensuring your success now is the least you can do for him

 

[borg69unimatrix]

Thanks bankside. That's really nice of you.

I am ready for Mr. Right. However, I'm not ready to be led on, and trust someone only to feel betrayed. And unfortunately, dating often involves a lot of BS like that.

So.. I'll just work on myself for now. I'm kind of tired of caring for people only to feel used. I'll need some time for my tough skin to grow back.

I hope these sentiments aren't over this guy. You only had 3 dates! True friendship, trust, LOVE, commitment,... takes time to grow, and be earned. Being attracted, or infatuated isn't love. It took me a very long time to figure this out. Sleeping with the guy in the first 3 dates gives him the wrong impression about you, or just gives him what he wants if he's only looking for a one night stand.

Not that there's necessarily anything wrong with one nighters, if you both know that's what it is going into it, but if you want more, hold out and see if it's really YOU he wants, or if he's just playing you for a piece of ass.