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how soon is too soon

KevDe87

KevDe87

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to move in with your boyfriend? i know its different for everyone but I'm just looking for some feedback in general i guess. its not really a question of it'll happen but when. we've been together for 4 months but have known each other for 8 years. I'm on the east coast and hes currently on the west, we've both been pretty committed with visits and things like that and i know well continue to be as we move forward. hes been bring up moving in more and more often and ive seriously been thinking about it. was just looking for advice

thanks
-kev
 
Since you two have known each other for 8 years and have dated for 4 months, I say it's time to move in together.

For someone whom I didn't know before dating, my own comfort level is 6 months after dating.
 
The only thing o e of you has to consider if your moving to a location far from work, school etc what will the one that moves in do if it does not work out?
 
I'm in the midst of moving in with my boyfriend currently (this weekend is the big move day, although his cats aren't coming for another week).

we started talking about it as we neared the 1-year mark and then after the 1-year anniversary, planned it for as soon as it was convenient (he wanted to give his roommate 3-months notice to figure out what she wanted to do, and I needed time to go through my apartment to fix stuff up and throw stuff out to make room for him)... that timeline felt right to me. by the 1-year point, I was pretty sure he wasn't going anywhere any time soon and we were both getting tired of maintaining 2 residences, never knowing whose house something was at, etc.
 
Different for all, but I met my honey one night, and stayed at his place over night:sex:...I never left we are still together. Our 30yr together anniversary and 1 yr marriage anniversary is coming up in Aug .(!)

Love you Boo..(*8*)
 
lambdaboy said:
The only thing o e of you has to consider if your moving to a location far from work, school etc what will the one that moves in do if it does not work out?
Click to expand...

I agree with lambda, I think these other factors are important to be able to establish for two reasons:

1. So that you or he does not get clingy because he has nothing going on in his life because you all have been in a Long term relationship. Moving across country means completely changing your comfort zone and you will need some type of space where you can have purpose or friends outside of your relationship.

2. In case the relationship doesnt work out, one of you will be stuck on the opposite side of the country. Best to have something else going for you in the new environment.


But to answer your question, I think you guys should go ahead and move in. It seems like you have known each other long enough.
 
i thought i would update this a little if anyone care

i saw him last night, and we talked about it for a bit. came up with a pros and cons list. the pros pretty much out weighed the bad. my job here is up a couple weeks anyway, so it seems like the perfect opportunity.

i'm gonna go ahead and move. thanks for the replies though fellas. i appreciate it.
 
When I met my guy I was interested. When I got to know him I was hooked. Once I knew him well I thought "I never want this to end." I was thrilled that he felt the same way. Everything we planned in our lives after that was based on that goal. Yeah it's weird to live with someone, even someone you care for. On a date you can put your best foot forward. Living together you see each other at your best and your worst. Did I care? Nope. I didn't want it to end. How would we deal with finances? Answer: what's going to work for both of us, because I don't want this to end...

Yeah? Simple. If you know your goal, how you answer that question becomes a lot clearer, and the answer will vary.

It might be "this is my chance to move so we can start our lives together."

It might be "If I want a future with this guy, I have to finish my education in the next year and a half. It sucks because I want to move tomorrow but I can't let anything get in the way of my goal and I don't see a future for us if I drop out."

Four months seems fast. But it depends where you're at with him. If it feels right and makes sense for both of you, do it.
 
to drag this up from the pits of thread hell and to give a final update

moved in with him this past monday! life has been pretty great since i started this thread way back in april

honestly dont think it could get any better
 
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