The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

How to be bisexual

H

hotslim

On the Prowl
Joined
Oct 7, 2010
Posts
83
Reaction score
0
Points
0
hi guys,

First sorry about my english, but I really hope you can help me.

I'm 22 years old now, and since I was 16 years old I realized that I am interested to men instead of women.

I live in Asia and I'm an Asian, and here it seems that no one can accept a gay. That's why I really want to be straight. In the past few months I often watch straight porn and always try to convince myself how beautiful a girl's body is, and how I should be interested to fuck her. During my attempts I sometimes realize that actually a guy's body is ugly and disgusting, however I'm still interested to it instead of a girl's body.

My question is :
1. Is there any of you that realize that a guy's body is disgusting, but still interested to it ?

2. One of my goal is at least I want to go from "gay" to be "bisexual". Have you ever heard about a success story of being bisexual from gay ? Do you personally think this goal can be reached ?

I would appreciate every answer :-)
 
Hey there. No need to apologize for your English, it's really good!

I have no idea about all gay culture in Asia, but I'm curious to know what country you are in?

To answer your questions:

1.) Not every guy body is going to interests me. But the act of a males having sex turns me on. You kind of have to figure out what body type you like the most. So yeah, you can find a guys body disgusting, but still appreciate gay porn.

2.) I have never heard of a success story of a gay making it a goal to be bisexual. Some people argue that sexuality is fluid, but bisexuality is definitely not something I feel you can "achieve" or set as a goal.
 
Your genitals don't care what they're having sex with, but your mind does.

That is how so many gay guys are able to have sex with girls, the stimulation of genital on genital contact alone is usually enough to keep it up. If your mind on the other hand is too repulsed it could make you lose your boner.
 
Your only problem will be when some really hot blue prince comes across you, and you know it will. Meanwhile you can design some disguise. But it'll hurt this situation. I'm not happy for you. Click on my icon and picture yourself in this situation, all of them asian guys. Tell me they are not beautiful.
 
I can't deny that I like guys, especially guys that has handsome or cute face and muscular body. They turn me on. However, when I watch straight porn, I can see that girls actually have more beautiful body, their soft tits, their ass. But they don't turn me on. Eventhough girls have nicer body, they don't turn me on. It confuses me. I really want to be turned on by girls body. Eventhough I know that I like men's body, I want to like girls too. I want to be bisexual.

I live in Indonesia, but I'm originally from China. Indonesia is a very religious country, and gay is considered shameful, wrong. If you come out and say you are gay, everyone will stay away from you. Eventhough I know there are some people that disagree with this, they don't have enough encouragement to protect gays, the prefer to go with the others and go against gays.

That's why I really want to be bisexual. Eventhough I know I like guys, I want to like girls too, so I can make a happy family, not a family with bitter, tasteless sex life. But I don't know if this is possible. I am not sure if I can make myself like a girl's body. Do you think it's possible ?
 
From what you have described, you are gay. You cannot train yourself to like sex with women. You either like it or you don't like it. You can pretend to like it though. But the pretense will wear itself out.

I can also understand the Muslim culture you live in. You have a dilema. It's a huge risk to come out as a gay person than in western countries. I think you would need to move to a western country to be true to yourself without the fear of persecution.
 
i dont believe that you can, i'm sorry. :( you can force yourself to do it, but i don't think you can force yourself to really like it.

how close are you to singapore? perhaps a move there may help, perhaps it may be a *slightly* more accepting environment for you.

i feel for you, it's not a fun situation to be in, and there are no easy decisions for you. just don't ever hate yourself for being the way you are, it isn't your fault, and it isn't a bad thing, no matter what anyone says to you.
 
hotslim said:
That's why I really want to be bisexual. Eventhough I know I like guys, I want to like girls too, so I can make a happy family
Click to expand...

These words may be enough to keep on fighting for gay civil rights all over the world, get them now or in year 2525. ](*,):croynan:

"I want to like girls too" I suppose that many religious preachers are going to try to prey on you. Again, not happy with this. And won't give you false hopes or bad advices
 
I think you should explore and have sex with a woman...then with a man. Only you can confirm for yourself whether you are sexually attracted to women or men or both. Like someone else had suggested, take a vacation to Singapore...to a more open culture to have gay sex.
 
I was married for 14 years and I have two children. I was afraid to live as a gay man. Having sex with my wife did not make me bisexual. There are many, perhaps millions of men who are doing what you describe as wanting to do. Each of us has internal and external pressures either motivating us or holding us back. You are asking yourself to chose between social status and mental health self development. Even gay men living in the most sexually free countries are faced with this.

So here is your dilemma, do you go against your culture or against your heart? The easy answer for me based upon my life and my choices is that it is a mistake to go against one's heart.

Cultures and societies are made by men and men make mistakes. We are all born with a birthright and sometimes, it seems, some of us have a gift that can also be seen as a burden, since we didn't ask for it, to be teachers.

You need to keep safe. I would suggest you do what you can to find other gay Indonesians, perhaps on-line for support in your cultural context. And you always have this community.

It's not fast enough, but the whole world is moving in the right direction. It was only 42 years ago when gays in New York could get arrested for acting gay (holding hannds!).

My advice to you is to think more about the present than the future. Wake up asking yourself what you can do today to be more comfortable in your own skin. I'd start by looking for the gay underground in Indonesia. Do this everytime you pass a mirror. Look at yourself and say, "I love myself. I accept myself."
 
soreknees said:
I was married for 14 years and I have two children. I was afraid to live as a gay man. Having sex with my wife did not make me bisexual. There are many, perhaps millions of men who are doing what you describe as wanting to do. Each of us has internal and external pressures either motivating us or holding us back. You are asking yourself to chose between social status and mental health self development. Even gay men living in the most sexually free countries are faced with this.

So here is your dilemma, do you go against your culture or against your heart? The easy answer for me based upon my life and my choices is that it is a mistake to go against one's heart.

Cultures and societies are made by men and men make mistakes. We are all born with a birthright and sometimes, it seems, some of us have a gift that can also be seen as a burden, since we didn't ask for it, to be teachers.

You need to keep safe. I would suggest you do what you can to find other gay Indonesians, perhaps on-line for support in your cultural context. And you always have this community.

It's not fast enough, but the whole world is moving in the right direction. It was only 42 years ago when gays in New York could get arrested for acting gay (holding hannds!).

My advice to you is to think more about the present than the future. Wake up asking yourself what you can do today to be more comfortable in your own skin. I'd start by looking for the gay underground in Indonesia. Do this everytime you pass a mirror. Look at yourself and say, "I love myself. I accept myself."
Click to expand...

that's fucking beautiful dude.
 
^Nothing like a for real compliment to put a smile on my face. I hope the OP has an easier path than he imagines.
 
For the first step, maybe I will explore more about my orientation, because I still hope I actually do like girls. I will also try to have sex with girls. If then I conclude that I don't like girls, then I will try to be more confident as a gay, as what you all said ;). Or maybe I will move to other country.

Thanks for all your answers and supports guys :-)
 
My advice is get the fuck out of that part of the world if you possibly can.
 
Hey dude..

I am a Chinese born Indonesian too! :)
to be honest I can't say much about your problem. I know how hard it is living in Indonesia with those stupid shits about homosexuality.

I must say I am impressed with the replies from people here, and could not agree more :)

Especially about moving to another country.
I am currently studying in Australia, and I have learned so much from this journey. Especially about how I can accept myself, how to be who I am, how people accept homosexuality (of course not all of them, but hell yeah trust me its waaaayyyy better than Indo), and many others.

Just don't stress it too much, dude. Just enjoy this life. Be who you really are. (!)
 
You can't turn gay into bisexual.
You can't turn bisexual into gay.
You can't turn gay into straight.
You can't turn straight into gay.

You are born like that.
 
Seasoned said:
I was married for 14 years and I have two children. I was afraid to live as a gay man. Having sex with my wife did not make me bisexual. There are many, perhaps millions of men who are doing what you describe as wanting to do. Each of us has internal and external pressures either motivating us or holding us back. You are asking yourself to chose between social status and mental health self development. Even gay men living in the most sexually free countries are faced with this.

So here is your dilemma, do you go against your culture or against your heart? The easy answer for me based upon my life and my choices is that it is a mistake to go against one's heart.

Cultures and societies are made by men and men make mistakes. We are all born with a birthright and sometimes, it seems, some of us have a gift that can also be seen as a burden, since we didn't ask for it, to be teachers.

You need to keep safe. I would suggest you do what you can to find other gay Indonesians, perhaps on-line for support in your cultural context. And you always have this community.

It's not fast enough, but the whole world is moving in the right direction. It was only 42 years ago when gays in New York could get arrested for acting gay (holding hannds!).

My advice to you is to think more about the present than the future. Wake up asking yourself what you can do today to be more comfortable in your own skin. I'd start by looking for the gay underground in Indonesia. Do this everytime you pass a mirror. Look at yourself and say, "I love myself. I accept myself."
Click to expand...

You're so awesome, Seasoned. You always give the best advice. You're like Ann Landers with a penis. :D
 
Don't "hope" to like girls. We've all been there, and done that, and the t-shirt never fits.

I was hoping I liked girls too. I was hoping to be bisexual. But I wasn't. I was gay to the bone, in every fiber of my being. And it took me 25 fucking years to come to terms with it. But once I did, the world changed.

You are not lucky like me. You live in a shitty place for gays, and you are forced to hide. But do not seek to change yourself - seek to change your environment. Find other gays in your area (a simple Grindr app might do wonders), or try to move to a better place.

Seasoned is right - you can't turn against your heart. Or rather - you can, but you will never achieve happiness that way. You will only end up destroying yourself. And you can have all the happiness in the world just the way you are.
 
pai mei said:
that's fucking beautiful dude.
Click to expand...

I agree. A beautiful post. Please take it to heart.

You are who you are. Do not let some religious dimwits tell you o be anything other than what you know you are.

Embrace and love your gay self. (*8*)
 
If you're bisexual, you would naturally feel sexually attracted to both men and women, even if in different ways. It doesn't sound like you do.
Seeing a woman's body as beautiful doesn't mean you find it sexually attractive, no more than you would find a painting or sculpture sexy.
Don't try forcing yourself to love someone you can't, you deserve better.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top