how to come out to him? please help

[G-Lexington]

Just say, "Did you get my note?" That's all the opening you'll need.

Lex

 

[innocentbychoice]

Hmmm seems like they guy is deeper in the closet than you, maybe that's why he didn't say anything. Maybe he feels uncomfortable as well because he doesn't know how to start or what to say...just like you. Jeez seems there's like a huge pink gay elephant in the room and nobody's talking about it, lol.

 

[alex1226]

hahaha lmao nice picture. and yea thats how it is i guess... hopefully i can get up enough courage to talk to him about it. sadly he lives about a half hour away and we usually dont hang out unless its the weekends so i have to wait another week

 

[G-Lexington]

Stop waiting. Send him an e-mail.

Lex

 

[Spensed]

Be careful about building up too many unrealistic expectations.

I do know of at least one case where two close friends ended up as more than that, but they were both out gay guys, who both made a conscious decision that they wanted to try that path.

In most cases and in my experience, you've simply got the wrong blueprint for how sexual relationships or encounters tend to work for most guys.

See: http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showpost.php?p=4845517&postcount=17

Knowing what I know now, what you do with your friend won't be as important in hindsight as what you do about putting yourself in situations where you meet gay men socially in terms of gay orientated social, political, sports, etc., groups or activities like theater groups, etc., or friends of friends in contexts where you're likely to come across sexually and emotionally available gay guys.

Just my opinion, of course.

 

[alex1226]

well i dont think my expectations are unrealistic, cause i found gay porn on his computer so that means he has some sort of interest in guys. and im not gay i just think i might be bi and i wanna experiment with a guy to see what its like. i dont see myself stopping liking girls any time soon lol.

and i guess it would make sense to just call him, but i cant even get the words out in person and i cant imagine what kind of a mess i would be on the phone trying to say it. i would rather do it in person anyway, so i can actually see his reaction not just hear what he says.

 

[Spensed]

well i dont think my expectations are unrealistic, cause i found gay porn on his computer so that means he has some sort of interest in guys. and im not gay i just think i might be bi and i wanna experiment with a guy to see what its like. i dont see myself stopping liking girls any time soon lol.

I'm not sure that knowing that he has gay porn on his computer fits in with what you said about him originally, but whatever.

He may, or may not, be able to discuss your bisexual issues with you and/or, if he does have a sexual interest in men, that may, or may not, include having a sexual interest in you.

But, in terms of fooling around, or a sexual relationship, within an established non-sexual friendship, the point remains that doesn't usually happen between men or, if the friends have sex aways down the line, it makes continuing the friendship difficult. If you want to explore gay sex, you'd be better advised to do the footwork to meet gay guys socially and deal with the issue of sexual attraction upfront rather than as an add-on. As I say, just my opinion.

My bad if you and he are the exception that prove the rule. In any event, don't put yourself at risk and good luck whatever happens.

 

[G-Lexington]

You want to tell him.
You want to be there when you tell him.
You can't tell him in person.
You won't hand him a note.

Sounds like you're in ideal spot to not do anything at all. So I guess stay the course.

Lex