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How To Deal With Ignorance?

O

OTHFan

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I've never been really fond of my dad's girlfriend. It may have started with the fact that they got together while my parents were still married and was probably the biggest reason for my family breaking up. I still tried to put my issues with her behind me after the divorce and she started being a part of my life through my dad. For a long time, I tried to be nice to her, Gave her a chance but there was something about her that always just bothered me and I couldn't figure out why. It started becoming more clear over the past year. We have this thing where we watch Grey's Anatomy together and every time the lesbian relationship on the show comes up, I have to hear her talk about how disgusting and gross it is and how she's gonna be sick. It just doesn't stop. I really can't take it anymore. I would just tell her how I feel about how her comments are uncalled for but that would cause all this drama that I don't need. So instead, I'm forced to be fake. I don't go out of my way to be nice to her but I am polite. I don't want them to figure out that I can't stand her cause again, drama.

I used to feel guilty for not liking her but then I realized what kind of person she was and knew there was a reason I felt that way and it wasn't just because of what she did to my family. She's just a horrible person. Very negative, hateful, closed minded. She's so judgmental. I'll be with her and she'll say something mean about a random person like they way they look or something that they wear. I wanna tell her to STFU cause she is far from perfect herself but I have to keep my mouth shut. I try to keep these kind of people out of my life but with her I don't have a choice. Whats really annoys me is she acts like she's this great christian woman when she's one of the biggest hypocrites I've ever met. I'm not trying to take away my dad's happiness. I don't know what he could possibly see in her but if she makes him happy, thats all that matters. I just wish I didn't have to deal with her. I would rather he go to her place to be with her instead of her coming here and me having to put up with her. I've already had to put up with it for over two years now. I just don't know what to do about it anymore. I hate being around her and her negativity but like i said I don't have a choice. Any advice?
 
I don't know how old you are, but if it were me (I'm 22), I'd probably firstly confront my father about it. If you are an adult, you should be able to stand up for your own beliefs. From what you wrote, it seems like you are still living with your dad. I don't know if he knows you aren't straight, but if he already knows, he'll probably understand your uncomfortable feelings. Discuss it.

Who knows, maybe he'll open his eyes to her being a fucking bitch and dump her ass! :)
 
You guys are right. I do need to call her out on her bs. I am 20 years old so I guess I don't have an excuse as to why I put up with it. I'm working on saving enough money to get my own place but I'm still pretty far from having enough. I know this could all probably be resolved with me coming out which I feel I am ready to do but I just never know the right time.
 
Give her a lesson of life. Don't fight, but rather give her knowledge about the topic, and as there is a good chance she will not hear you (figuratively) there's a possibility one day she'll think about what you said, if not many times, just for a moment. Help out society by putting knowledge into people who are ignorant. ignorance is bliss, dont let them have their bliss with this.
 
People who make the sort of comments that she does- about strangers or about gay characters on a television show- are both insecure and immature.

If you call her on her behavior, it will discourage it. By playing along, you are just encouraging it and sending the message that it's okay.

The next time she makes a catty remark, just calmly say, "That wasn't nice. or "That person that you're slamming is a human being- you should be ashamed." or "You call yourself a Christian?".

The next time she does her, "I'm gonna be sick" routine during lesbian scenes, say, "I don't see anything wrong with it" or "Grow up".
 
I know how you feel. I had to put up with my dad's girlfriend for 6 years. It's not easy to 'argue' with those people, because there's not much confidence between and you are afraid of making your dad angry (in my case, my dad always stood by her side and not mine, something that not only pissed me off but made me suffer a lot).

For me, the best way was to contradict her 'politely'. Instead of telling her off -which can be quite tempting at times- , say why you don't agree with her and give arguments so that it is clear that she's wrong. If you make a big deal, it will seem that you have something against her, and that might make matters worse.
 
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