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How to Find a True Love

I

ieaticecreaminbed

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Hey guys, I've been thinking that maybe I'm not going to find a true love. gay friends around me seem like they're into only making out/hook ups in the club and not serious relationships. i'm a little bit concerned. hmm. things just sound superficial to me.
 
If you always hang out at a bar, statistically speaking you will meet people you would expect at a bar...if you like bar hook-ups then more power to you. However, if you are looking for a relationship partner it can prove to be more difficult to actually hone in on a spot to meet the kind of person you are looking for. I find school is a good place to meet new people, and places I go in my everyday life.
 
:cry:
Story of my life. I went to a bar once, but swore I'd never go again. The next place I tried was the GLBT center here. But it was wayyyyy to cliquey for me, and I haven't been back in about a year. I just want to fall in love with a guy who falls in love with me.
 
thermodynamics said:
:cry:
Story of my life. I went to a bar once, but swore I'd never go again. The next place I tried was the GLBT center here. But it was wayyyyy to cliquey for me, and I haven't been back in about a year. I just want to fall in love with a guy who falls in love with me.
Click to expand...

i know, that's what i'm talking about! i just want someone that loves me, and if he wants to sleep around, i'm not the right person for him.

at the same time, i find it a little hard for me to motivate myself like 'cause people tell me i'm not gonna find anyone... but i'm hoping i will.
 
There are decent people out there. You just have to wait and never give up.
 
There are good guys out there (refer to the PM I just sent you for places near you), but you need to disabuse yourself of this romantic idea of "true love". Real life isn't like the movies where boy meets boy and they ride off into the sunset.

I know it sounds odd, but you're unlikely to find a long-term boyfriend by explicitly looking for him. Instead, focus on improving yourself (education, physical fitness, having interesting hobbies) and meeting people with whom you share interests and values. In time, you'll stumble across some good guys.
 
I've said it before, but as the Hamm's bear once said, "it bears repeating".

True loves aren't found.
They're built.

You don't blunder into somebody, the yin to your yang, and immediately live happily ever after.

You get out there. You meet people. And, eventually, you meet somebody you mesh with. Somebody who you get along really well with. Somebody who's willing to roll up his sleeves and get to work. And then, you start building a relationship together. Brick by brick, level by level. And even when it's done, you've gotta do "upkeep". But done correctly, it's a beautiful thing, and something to be extremely proud of.

Maybe you haven't found that guy yet. That's cool. Keep at it. Don't be too quick to separate people into "LTR-able" and "forget it". Some people might just make decent friends - cool, we could all use more friends. Keep your eyes open, your mind open, and your heart open. You'll find somebody. :)

Lex
 
G-Lex is correct, again. But it doesn't make the whole thing any less daunting or frustrating when you've been out and about for a while and your gay contacts are limited.

Oh well. Just keep looking, I suppose.
 
^^^
What drhladnjak and Lex said.
 
You'll find someone. Someone who loves you as much as you love them. They may come quickly or take years, and chances are you're going to find someone who you THINK is your true love, but then they aren't. But don't bad things and heart breaks just make us appreciate the good things even more?
And like the others have said, true loves aren't found, they're something that you have to build on. Something BOTH of you have to nurture and take care of. Learned the hard way that one person does not a relationship make.
But you will find someone, I'm sure. And there ARE other guys like us who are more interested in love and a relationship than sex.
 
yeah, i think you guys are right. i'll focus on myself/self improvement at the moment, and take it easy then. and yeah, it's so true that relationships are built. got it. :)
 
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