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How to get a celebrity boyfriend?

D

dreambelieve

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I think I want to date celebrities. Maybe Adam Lambert, Jonathan Groff, Chris Colfer, Reichen Lehmkuhl, or Zachary Quinto. The problem is, they only ever seem to want to date other celebrities. How would I approach getting into one of their lives and making them fall madly in love with me?
 
you and millions of other people (well, ok... maybe tens of other people in the case of Chris Colfer)

there's no magic trick. unless you have connections or are in the industry where you might run into them at a party or through friends, you're SOL. and even then, you'll have to hope that you're exactly their type and have magic sparks the instant you meet.

may as well focus your energies on not becoming a stalker.
 
I would think that they would universally avoid anyone who was "looking for them" because they are a celebrity.
 
Justin Bieber is available! Canada does not want him. USA does not want him either.

Go get him, Tiger!!!
 
1. Get educated. You will probably never make as much money than them so you want to be able to stimulate their minds as well. You may need to get a masters degree/PHD...I suggest economics (trending these days) or psychology...or learn a foreign language (preferably something like Afrikkans or Gaelic, they will make you stand out)
2. Be hot--relative term but if you arent I dont see your dream working out ever. Hollywood is full of hot guys. This includes but not limited to 6 feet tall, broad shoulders, muscular but not body builder status,
3. Have goals and a dream too--guys who are successful are attracted to other guys who are at least trying to be successful, and I am not talking about lead bartender. Maybe go to law school and focus on the entertainment industry. but be ready to drop this career after the 9th date when Quinto gives you a key to his mansion.
4. Be versatile. Obviously if you get past the second date with Groff, and he says he wants you to bend him over the kitchen table, you better be rock hard and willing to do it, and probably for the duration of your relationship. Be ready to give up ever experiencing another penis in your ass. Its his world, you just live in it bro.
5. Have a big dick. Even if Lambert wants to put it in your ass everyday twice a day--once you get past the 3rd date of course-- he will want an enormous schlong to play with (or neglect) while drilling you from behind.
6. Find out their schedules and figure out how you can make a serendipitous introduction. Maybe Lambert gets a pedicure every third friday at an unnamed salon...it is your sole responsibility to find out where and what time of day so you can be in the lobby the moment he walks in. This may require having some cash on hand to bribe the beautician. Again being a lawyer may help foot this bill.
7. Find out who his friends are, be friends with them, and eventually you may cross paths. If you have considered 1-5, when this happens, any of these men wont be able to resist falling in love with you.
8. Become an Oscar winning actor. Then maybe Groff will be posting a thread about how to date you and you can choose whether you want to pitch or catch.

hope this helps! ..|
 
Become a celebrity. Unless it's Cher bagging a bag boy, it's pretty much a small circle those folks move in and I'd guess most are already taken.
 
Can you imagine being in the clutches of Cher's bionic snatch?
 
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