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How to get rid of a telemarketer

T

TylerKS

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The phone rang as I was sitting down to eat dinner, and as I
answered it I was greeted with "Is this Karl Brummer"? Not sounding
anything like my name, I asked who is calling. The telemarketer said
he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that.
Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally and why was he calling
this number. I then said off to the side, "get some pictures of the body at various angles and the blood smears",
I then turned back to the phone
and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case.
I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy
and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.
The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were
given in a shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position
and the police were entering the building to take him into custody, at
that point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.
My BF asked me when I came back why I had tears
streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell him for about
fifteen minutes.
My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time.

:badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin:
 
When a telemarketer calls for special 0% APR credit cards or magazine subscriptions, just hang up... that way you save their breath and your's as well.
 
That's great! I wish I could think up clever ways to get rid of them like that. Telemarketers suck.
 
If it's a number on my caller ID I don't recognize, it's usually a telemarketer. I answer my phone in the best Jose Jimenez voice I can muster (think back to The Jack Benny Show if you're old enough) and pretend not to speak a word of English. I will not hang up and keep them on the phone for as long as I can trying to talk to them in broken Spanish. They've been trained never to hang up on a customer. I keep them on the line until I'm too hysterical to talk any more. They never call back.
 
I did a stint as a telemarketer when I was in college...

It was the single worst job of my entire life.
It was a descent into hell.

I remember all that whenever one of them gets on the line. For the most part, I'm polite and just hang up the phone.
 
When I know it's a telemarketer calling (thank you call display) I pick up the phone, wait half a second and then press the hold button. After a couple of minutes I release the hold and hang up.
 
I pretend to be slightly deaf, and ask them to repeat things over and over again, after repeating it back to them, but slightly confused. Eventually, they give up. They all run to time schedules for each call, so if you're gonna waste my time, I might as well waste theirs.

Anyway, I hate it when they say, "Hello, how are you?" and "It's ok, we're not trying to sell you anything..."
 
Thanks for letting all the JUBBERS know a lot more ideas of how to treat/get rid of these damn people!!

I just hate it when they interrupt a meal!

I especially love the "hold" one!(*8*) (*8*) :kiss: :kiss:
 
I hate it when people call you at very inappropriate times. Whenever they call, I either just say "I don't speak English" or "Not interested" then hang up...
 
My usual response is, "Just one moment..." then I put the phone down and go on with whatever I was doing at the time. Maybe half an hour later I will just hang up.
 
Good one, Tyler.
When I get one of those "How are you today?" calls I just tell them I am broke. That usually ends it.(!)
 
that's friggin' awesome Tyler!

usually when they call and ask for me, I just say," I'm sorry love, he was killed by a pack of wild dogs just last night." then I go into grafic detail about how the dogs ripped out and chewed on his innards, and then a bum came by and and crawled inside me so he could stay warm.lol
 
duroc5088 said:
usually when they call and ask for me, I just say," I'm sorry love, he was killed by a pack of wild dogs just last night." then I go into grafic detail about how the dogs ripped out and chewed on his innards, and then a bum came by and and crawled inside me so he could stay warm.lol
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Now you're just being evil!

I usually just say that I'm not interested and wish them a good day. Just like the softie that I am.
 
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