How To Keep Calm and Ugh..Fuck On?

[TK2129]

So I've been seeing this guy for a bit now, and we're finally going to move onto the anal stage of our relationship. I really like him so of course I'm asking myself all sorts of questions that don't help

1) What if it hurts - We're both pretty inexperienced to this whole guy on guy thing. I'm afraid I won't be able to take it. I mean, he isn't big or anything(I enjoy his size ) but it's still a concern of mine. I'm not a virgin but I'm pretty inexperienced and it's been months since I've lost had sex.

2) The ass isn't a clean place - I mean, I'm not sure what to do here. I know I'm supposed to have a BM before sex but I also I'm not supposed to really eat before the day(though some say have a high fiber diet before the day)...But like do I enema? I bought Fleet but I'm reading so many things that say "Don't do it, it's worse for you.."...I'm just worried like, something might happen, some sort of horror story that will disgust him and he'll never be able to look at me again.

Heck I worry even a small amount might freak him out.

I know I'm probably making a bigger deal than I should. I always do about these things. But does any have any suggestions on what I should do about these things?

 

[KaraBulut]

To begin with, did your read through the old threads in the All About Ass sticky in H&W?

For most guys, size isn't an issue. If you think about it, the size what comes out of your ass is not that big of a different from the average penis. The issue for inexperienced guys is relaxing- physically and mentally. Go buy a toy and play around with it on your own.

This is discussed in the Sticky but you are correct: for most guys, the rectum is empty until shortly before you have to take a dump. There are things that can stimulate the colon and trigger stool to move- a big meal, caffeine. If you have a healthy diet and no history of colon issues, then it's just a matter of showering and using a soapy washcloth and a finger to clean well. Stick your finger in and if your rectum is empty, then there's nothing else needed. If you feel stool, then a disposable enema (like Fleet) will usually be enough to empty things out.

Use condoms. It's safer and it resolves a lot of the fear of mess.

In situations like this, what is in your mind is far worse than anything that can happen in real life. If you're nervous about it, then talk with him about it. Maybe it's time for a little assplay and experimentation together before you do the big deed?

 

[TK2129]

Thanks!

So how long before we have sex should I aim for the dump? Also, should my finger be soapy?

 

[KaraBulut]

Thanks!

So how long before we have sex should I aim for the dump? Also, should my finger be soapy?

You go when you feel like going. If you're not sure, then attempt to go before you jump in the shower.

A bit of body wash or mild soap on your finger will remove any mucus in your anus (and any residual stool). Rinse in the shower and dry just like you normally would.

Occasionally, you may run into guys who are turned on by men's normal body smells but most guys like a guy who is clean and smells good, so don't overthink it- it's just normal hygiene stuff.

 

[Manuel13]

If you're going to use soap, I recommend having a bottle of Johnson's baby shampoo. Other soaps might irritate the inside of your asshole if you finger yourself. The baby shampoo is very gentle and will also work like a lubricant to help you check inside of yourself easily. I don't think you should have to worry about not eating at all before bottoming, you just want to be careful about what you eat. Avoid junk food, anything really heavy or very cheesy or with lots of dairy, and you should be okay. You know how your body works. You basically just want to make sure that when you take a shit you are getting everything out and aren't constipated or anything like that. If you want to feel confident, I'd say you should give yourself as much time as you can. Go to the bathroom an hour or 45 minutes before you plan on doing anything. Jump in the shower to get yourself clean and check that your hole is really clean. If it's not, you'll still have time to clean yourself. And if you're good to go, you'll have time to think about the good pounding you're about to get.

 

[TX-Beau]

Yeah, big no on the bar soap if you're sensitive at all.

 

[TK2129]

Great, thanks for the advice guys!

 

[Telstra]

To begin with, did your read through the old threads in the All About Ass sticky in H&W?

For most guys, size isn't an issue. If you think about it, the size what comes out of your ass is not that big of a different from the average penis. The issue for inexperienced guys is relaxing- physically and mentally. Go buy a toy and play around with it on your own.

This is discussed in the Sticky but you are correct: for most guys, the rectum is empty until shortly before you have to take a dump. There are things that can stimulate the colon and trigger stool to move- a big meal, caffeine. If you have a healthy diet and no history of colon issues, then it's just a matter of showering and using a soapy washcloth and a finger to clean well. Stick your finger in and if your rectum is empty, then there's nothing else needed. If you feel stool, then a disposable enema (like Fleet) will usually be enough to empty things out.

Use condoms. It's safer and it resolves a lot of the fear of mess.

In situations like this, what is in your mind is far worse than anything that can happen in real life. If you're nervous about it, then talk with him about it. Maybe it's time for a little assplay and experimentation together before you do the big deed?

ummm there is a big difference between hard penis and poo (often very very very soft)

 

[TK2129]

Okay, one more question...I don't want to suck a dick that's been in my ass, condom or no condom haha....But if we were to shower and wash his dick, would that take out any gross bacteria?

 

[TX-Beau]

If he's washed I don't see what the problem is, if he's had a condom on some guys will still do it, I prefer to wash him first, which can be pretty erotic if you do it right, bareback then ass to mouth, I don't think so.

 

[TK2129]

If he's washed I don't see what the problem is, if he's had a condom on some guys will still do it, I prefer to wash him first, which can be pretty erotic if you do it right, bareback then ass to mouth, I don't think so.

Yeah I meant AFTER washing, not before washing.

 

[TK2129]

Yeah I meant AFTER washing, not before washing.

So apparently you can't edit but question...how does the bacteria last? I mean, if you go into the shower after anal and clean the penis, there is still bacteria on it? I get that there is less so with condoms, but like two days later, will his penis be clean?

 

[sixthson]

I never use enemas. I just know my body and know when butt sex is ok and when it isn't.
Since you are nervous about such things, you might want to try an enema on a day that you are NOT going to have sex, just to see how you react to one.

You shouldn't be having bareback sex with someone you have only known a short time, so when he removes the condoms and washes his dick, there is no more concern than if you sucked him and hadn't had butt sex.
Your entire body has bacteria on it, that is why sweat smells.

To tell you the truth, my first reaction to your posting here is that you are probably not ready for this. You are too fearful.
Stick to what you've been doing for awhile longer. Worrying about it hurting is another subject. Most of us have been there.

 

[TK2129]

Oh we haven't known each other a short while. We've known each other for a couple of years but only started hooking up a few weeks back. I think that's why I'm so stressed(and also just a stressful person in general).

 

[TK2129]

So I made the mistake of telling a close friend about my new sex life(oh yes, we did it and everything went splendidly )...and he spent the time telling me how anal sex is dangerous, even with a condom....

Is it really that dangerous or is he just some narrowminded asshat?

 

[KaraBulut]

So I made the mistake of telling a close friend about my new sex life(oh yes, we did it and everything went splendidly )...and he spent the time telling me how anal sex is dangerous, even with a condom....Is it really that dangerous...

Well, this forum has thousands of men who have taken it up the ass with a condom. They seem to be doing just fine.

...or is he just some narrowminded asshat?

He may be an asshat- that's for you to decide. He is ill-informed, but he deserves credit for caring about you... even if he is ill-informed.

 

[TX-Beau]

What specifically was he calling dangerous? STD? Even with a condom there is some small chance of infection, but then walking out your door there is some small chance of getting hit by a bus. Sitting at home there is some small chance of a meteorite falling on your head. Life is about managed risks, you do your best and live your life, the alternative is lonely paranoia.

 

[TK2129]

What specifically was he calling dangerous? STD? Even with a condom there is some small chance of infection, but then walking out your door there is some small chance of getting hit by a bus. Sitting at home there is some small chance of a meteorite falling on your head. Life is about managed risks, you do your best and live your life, the alternative is lonely paranoia.

He said the act itself. He pretty much said the ass isn't meant for sex, so I'm pretty much damaging it and risking anal cancer(and yes, he did say STIs even though I told him my partner and I are exclusive and were recently tested together, and will be again in three months )...But yeah, he was being really judgy. I'm not sure why I told him.

I don't know how to feel about it. Is it concern or is he trying to shame me? I couldn't really tell.

 

[KaraBulut]

He said the act itself. He pretty much said the ass isn't meant for sex, so I'm pretty much damaging it and risking anal cancer(and yes, he did say STIs even though I told him my partner and I are exclusive and were recently tested together, and will be again in three months )...But yeah, he was being really judgy. I'm not sure why I told him.

I don't know how to feel about it. Is it concern or is he trying to shame me? I couldn't really tell.

So, I guess he doesn't allow his girlfriends to give him blowjobs? After all, the mouth isn't "meant for sex", either. And the rates of head/neck cancers in women has grown exponentially because of HPV-linked tumors.

His concern might be real but his reasoning is veiled homophobia.