How to make Gay Friends

[LushPuppy]

Hey

The only other gay guy I know is my BF.. but we don't have any other gay friends and were trying to meet more friends. We live in a pretty gay populated area but I just can't seem to find anyone?

How does one make gay friends?? go to bars?

We have been watching the US version of Queer as Folk and they have an awesome time always hanging out (gay friends).. and were looking for the same.

 

[jetsonboy]

Great thread, thank you for posting it. I am in the same situation, and it seems as if sex becomes a bit of a problem in my pursuit of gay male friends. They all seem to think I am after them romantically, or they are themselves attracted to me as such and are disappointed when I tell them I just want to be friends.

 

[Brijan]

We have been watching the US version of Queer as Folk and they have an awesome time always hanging out (gay friends).. and were looking for the same.

Just for balance...
You've heard of the show Friends right?
All those straight people hanging out having an awesome time?
It's teevee, not real life.

Having said that... I would like more gay friends too.

 

[theblackajah]

Same boat. This is strange. Guess everyone's so disconnected these days.

 

[drhladnjak]

Plenty of people have groups of gay friends in real life. Everybody is not disconnected. The first step though is getting off the computer every once in a while and meeting people offline, although I know people who have made local friends online as well.

The key is doing something you enjoy doing where there happen to be other gay people around. That might be joining a sports team, doing community theater, volunteer work, political activism--whatever. When I moved to Seattle, I joined a LGBT hiking/outdoors group where I made a couple friends. From those friends, I met other people at parties and what not that I found I got along with as well. And so on and so forth.

 

[Smitho]

The first step though is getting off the computer every once in a while

Exactly right, you are not going to meet anyone sitting there infront of the computer! Get out and do something you enjoy, with a gay twist.

Once you meet afew people you can network around and meet more, even if you don't like the people you meet initally make an effort and get introduced to others. If people call and ask you out for the night, even if you don't feel like it, go and get out, it takes a bit of effort at the begining but you get there in the end.

 

[Dejajb]

I have a pretty good group of gay friends who I love and appreciate. I also live a a pretty gay-friendly enviornment so that helps. I started by joining a gay group at my school and from then on I started to meet more friends.

Once I had a core group of friends (3-5) and then we were going to bars and ended up meeting more people. Just have fun and be yourself.

 

[ok455]

It would be nice to make some gay friends

I guess u should move to more gay populated area

 

[mydrew1]

Same with me. My social life has mostly gone since after finishing my school my friends and I have gone on to separate lives. I'm barely in touch with them. One are gay, so....

 

[screwnutty]

Yeah, I'm in the same boat, so I don't know what to tell you. ALL my friends are straight.

Yupper's same here. All my friends are straight except for one, he's Bi but he's with a girlfriend at the moment and likes to be referred to as straight. *sigh* I thought it was suppose to be something like every 1 in 10 people are gay?! If that's true....boy did he miss this area!

 

[Just_Believe18]

I've been in the same boat and after years of trying, I realize most of them are crazy, drama queen, psychos with moodswings, substance abuse, and promiscuity problems. It's almost not worth your time.

 

[Pringle]

most of them are crazy, drama queen, psychos with moodswings, substance abuse, and promiscuity problems.

You called?

 

[Corny]

i have a couple of gay friends, and we have grown together over 2 years now.
rule no 1: do not have sex together
rule no 2: do not choose to befriend people because you are attracted to them but can't have them.
rule no 3: you should have more in common than just being gay.

 

[SuperQueer]

I have 5 ideas that worked for me and my hubby.

1. Start a thursday supper club. - ask friends to join in the circle. Potluck or fully hosted. makes plans about what to do the following weekend. Encourge friends to bring more friends into the circle.

2. Taking a roadtrip? Invite another to come along and share double rooms. Record w/ potos - share the prints.

3. Add all your friends to speed dails on your phone and touch base with them on a regular basis to see what's going on - make plans.

4. Plan a picnic, take photos of everyone. have prints framed and present them one by one on one personal basis - it will serve as a constant reminder that you are a fun part of their life.

5. kamikazed "this or that" attack - this is one you do with complete strangers - inspired by this wonderful thread. Look for a guy or group of guys in a bar - say hi and ask them if they want to play "this or that?" - take turns - you can find out alot about a person when they tell you their preferences.

All in all - be fun and the fun will come to you.

 

[3nipples]

Gay sports clubs are a good way to meet other gays.

 

[Eagle653]

Great ideas.

There are clubs devoted to most hobbies within driving distances of most people. Clubs devoted to sports, books, art, design, restaurants, travel, hiking, etc. etc.

You can also become politically involved. Gay activists tend to be politically involved and tend to throw great parties. Get involved and get invited to them--not for the party itself, but to meet like-minded people. I've made some strong, lifelong friends on those circuits.

I've also made some friends at bars--I really have. We go to a piano bar on the weekends and there's a regular crowd that we like, and whose company we enjoy. We've even done things outside the bar and several of them are friends now with whom we do things socially. Bars have such a bad reputation, and some deservedly so. But, others, are just friendly gathering places with others looking for friends, company, to ease boredom, or even lovers.

Lastly, make it a pretty urgent goal to get to know one person whom you call a friend. Then, meet their friends. When you really boil down people's lists of friends and acquaintances, many meet others through others (friends of friends). It's a great and efficient way to meet people. Get invited to parties (another great way); go to open-invitation events that are likely to attract many gays.

Good luck!

 

[Yeehaw]

i have a couple of gay friends, and we have grown together over 2 years now.
rule no 1: do not have sex together
rule no 2: do not choose to befriend people because you are attracted to them but can't have them.
rule no 3: you should have more in common than just being gay.

rule no 4: do not make friends with somebody just because you're lonely and need a friend *speaks from experience*

 

[Mitri T]

I have met gay friend at class and at coffee house. This is easy. No?

 

[luminum]

Try getting involved in the community. Volunteer at a local clinic or LGBT resource center. Join an LGBT committee or event planner group. That would probably help you meet other queer people, and you cattend some LGBT events like game nights or something.

 

[Soilwork]

I really need to hang out in this forum more.

OK.. DO NOT MEET FREINDS IN BARS.

now that that's over with, friends aren't just bought at a store.. you need to cultivate those relationships through common interests.

what do you like to do?

I'm in a gay motorcycle club and virtually all of my friends are riders too. That's how I met them.

IF you want to make friends, you need to decide what it is that you like to do and then find a gay group that does that... bowling league, baseball team, book club...

you'll meet people that you have things in common with.. and that's where you'll make those friends.