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How To Overcome Cattiness In The Gay Community

M

MrMojoRisin

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An article on how to overcome the cattiness within the community when it comes to friendship and dating:

One of the things I often hear gay men talk about is the division within the community. It can feel cliquey and there is often a cattiness among some of its members. This can carry over into our friendships and even dating. There seems to be a confusion among gay men as to why we're dealing with the same issues all over again. After all, this is a community of people who went through the same bullying that we did. Shouldn't we always feel included?

The short answer is no. The fact is that even though a bunch of people have the same sexual orientation, they're all individuals. A person's sexual orientation makes up a significant, but small component of an individual. There is so much more to a person than who they're attracted to.
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The best advice I know is to be the change you want to see in other people.

Group dynamics are a tricky beast and I can say with certainty that all forms of cattiness exist in all groups including the gay community.
 
I liked the article but I felt like it had very little to do with cattiness.
And I also disagree a bit on a side note they put in there
Take Bradley Stern and T. Kyle MacMahon for example. Both men are good friends and both are gay. They host a podcast called, "Legends Only," where they talk about music and pop culture. When you listen to their podcast, it becomes clear their friendship isn't based on their identity. It's based on their love of Britney Spears and pop music in general. Them being gay is a mere coincidence.
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Maybe that's true for those two, I don't know. But I think it is misleading to imply that that the gay identity isn't a component of a lot of people's friendships. There are unique ways that gay people interact with the world and vice versa that are meaningful and can be something people actively seek out. It doesn't have to be coincidence. I agree it's not a great foundation for a friendship if that's all you have. But I think that's true of most things, you'd typically expect a framework of different things converging for a friendship to form. Liking Breaking Bad and having literally nothing else in common probably doesn't make for a great friendship either.
 
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