How To Start Conversation

[OTHFan]

There's this really cute guy that rides my bus and we've ended up sitting together maybe 8 or 9 times. I really wanna start something with this guy whether its a friendship or something more than that but every time he sits next to me, I suddenly become mute. I end up staring out the window the entire time. I have no idea what to say to him or how to get us communicating. I don't wanna say something stupid or something that will make it painfully obvious that I'm trying to get to know him. I don't think he's gay. he usually sits quiet the whole time too. Maybe he's waiting on me to say something or maybe he just wants to be left alone. I don't know if this means anything or not but after so many stops, when seats start to free up, he stays with me until his stop comes. I usually take first free seat available when I'm sitting with someone i don't know but he didn't leave my side until it was time for him to get off. Maybe I'm looking too much into it, but i do know i don't wanna waste another opportunity with him. I'm just really bad at starting and maintaining relationships. I'm like this even with people I've known a long time, People I see everyday. If I'm alone with them, I can't think of anything to say and there's just this awkward silence between us. I'm kind of guarded and I'm working on that. Once I feel comfortable with someone like I really know them, I'm not like that at all. I'm more myself, outgoing, fun but getting to that point with somebody is really hard for me.

 

[12fear99]

I totally agree with bw92116. Just ask about anything that you both may in common, like school, the bus ride home, and etc. That will break the ice some.

Do you see him around school or have any classes with him?

I not much of a talker at first either. I usually just ask how they are and do not get much response except good. I will now just maybe ask something about the day in general and see where that goes. Gook luck. I have learn now to just talk and really listen and have a conversation.

 

[G-Lexington]

Yeah, the two basic rules of conversation are:

1. Look for common ground.
2. Ask questions based on that common ground.

You both ride this bus. That's your common ground. Work that ground.

"Hey. Does the bus driver seem a bit touchier than normal this morning?"
"I've noticed you sometimes ride this bus. Is this when you normally get off work/go to work/get off school/go to school?"
"I'm glad the bus seems to be running early today/I'm pissed the bus is running late today."

Lex

 

[Ramindra]

I agree with most of the posters above. The suggestion is that you always begin by asking a question which cannot be answered by a simple "yes" or "no". In other words, a question which requires a response that will alow you to continue the conversation.

Although I would never recommend that you use this question, an example of a non-leading question is, "What is a nice boy like you doing in a place like this?" You cannot answer yes or no to this question, and the answer should provide an opportunity to continue the conversation further.

 

[exergonical]

I had almost exactly the same experience... except I was the one who sat down and stayed.

 

[rainman256]

I may be different from most people, but maybe a joke might work at first. Like, "What's green and smells like blue paint?...............green paint.

Then laugh and say, "Sorry...I heard that other day and just had to tell someone." That might lighten the mood, or take away the tension, and maybe you can start a conversation from there.

Or, maybe if he has a nice shirt or coat or something, you can compliment him and say "That's a cool coat/shirt, by the way. If you don't mind me asking, where did you get it?" That would be an ice breaker.

 

[Spensed]

Another ploy to get the ball rolling is to ask for help on something, directions, when the last bus is, do you have a pen I could use for a second, whatever.

The more casual and genuine the question the better.