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How/where to meet young gay guys

J

justme9191

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I am having a very difficult time meeting gay guys. In my young life, I've really only known one or two gay guys in my age group who I was certain were gay. Seriously, only one or two, ever. This is very frustrating as I'd like to start dating and forming relationships.

I suppose part of this problem just comes from being gay. With only 5-10% (and that's being generous) of the population being gay, the odds are clearly against us. It also doesn't help that there's still a stigma attached to homosexuality in many communities, making people less likely to embrace their sexual orientation publicly. And I think this is worst with young people, as they face bullying and and all sorts of other pressures that keep them from coming out. Just these factors alone probably put our chances of meeting someone else who's gay below 1%, let alone someone we could actually have a long term relationship with. But even faced with all this, I still have hope...

I've found that the most common advice for meeting fellow gay people is to go to the gay bars/clubs. There are a few problems with this advice for me. First of all, I'm really not much of a bar/club person. And I'm not looking for a hookup (not saying everyone you meet in a bar is a "hookup", but there's certainly a good number looking just for that). Plus, I'm really looking for guys in the 18-21 age range (I don't see myself with anyone much older than me). Most of them can't even get inside a bar. So the bar/club thing is really out.

Which leaves me with the question: How in the world do young gay guys meet each other?
 
As long as you're out, you're already halfway there. Do the things you enjoy doing and let people know you're gay. You don't have to literally say that the words "I'm gay" but you can mention a guy you find attractive or something like that.

You may also want to look at www.meetup.com and see if they have any groups in your area.

If possible, I would take the focus off of finding a boyfriend and move it towards finding friends. Enjoy being young and single!

Finally, if you aren't out, try and do it sooner rather than later. It's easier to do it when you have less responsbilities.
 
^Sound advice. Look for friends, meeting them anyway possible. Try to ignore any per cent analysis as that will give you reason to be less hopeful. Depending on where you live there may be clubs, groups and student organizations to look into. Stay positive and get yourself "out" there, wherever "out there" might be.
 
I'm in a similar position as yourself. I'm young, out (not that anyone believes me half the time, I'm very masculine and therefore in their eyes impossible to be gay) and looking for friends or more. However here in Australia it seems exceptionally difficult to find guys my age, even harder to find guys my age who would even give me a shot. Being a bigger lad seems to have an even worse stigma attached to it than actually being gay and how dare you even enter gay bars! Grindr, manhunt, plenty of fish are all a bust. It's a lonely world for a young. bigger, gay guy.

I have one gay friend, who if it weren't for him, I'd either still be deep in the closet or dead. However I'd like more gay friends, or friends in general, but alas, in my part of the world, unless you have abs, are a dancer, into partying and drugs, you aren't welcome. And like the OP I too prefer guys around my age. So what is a guy who feels like he doesn't fit to do?
 
Where are you from ? Even though the global percentage of gay people seems low its still said to be one in every 15-20 guys.
Here in the Netherlands its actually weird if you don't know any gay guys, there are plenty here, you just don't know it, same as they probably don't know about you :)
 
I'm 19 and am in a group of around 60 young LGBT people [around 40-50 of us are gay men]. I'm at the most LGBT-friendly university in the United Kingdom though. I don't think it should be hard to find gay guys, if you're in a place of education you might hear a rumor that someone is gay.. I've found those rumors are generally true, but don't just go up to people who are accused of being gay and do/say whatever you're planning on, that'd be a bad idea.

It depends on where you are really. I have the advantages of being less than 10 minutes from Gay Village at a uni which has a lot of homosexuals. I don't know what applies for you.
 
Try to put yourself out there as much as you can. There may be LGBT-friendly clubs or organizations in your community. If you are still in school, look for clubs or organizations you can join to meet more people. Don't give up. Sometimes the right guy is just around the corner.
 
I'm pretty much in your same boat and I'm going to College right now. The place that I've found most gay guys are I. in my LGBT club here at school (although most of the members are lesbians) II although stereotypical it has proven tried and true, the music/theatre dept. at my school. I am also involved in music and there are always at least three or four of them in even a small concert band. I don't really frequent clubs or bars much but I think that the best idea for you is to try to befriend a lot of people, and if possible a few gay guys. If you are friends with a guy who is more obviously gay than you are they will more than likely have a better idea of who the gay guys around you are.

I know this from experience but unfortunately I don't have any gay friends here at the university only at home :(
 
I wouldn't rule out the bar club scene. All of them have a college ID night, they let 18 and up in. In my experience half the guys on those nights are under 21 and usually hang in a group together.
 
Gay Saunas (Bathhouses in the USA) are a really good way of meeting other gay/BI guys – most major cities have several.

They’re great for casual sex – but also I know plenty of gay guys in relationships who first met their partner in a gay sauna.
 
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