huge crush on my roommate. dilemma. HELP!

[Vendetta203]

so im having a dilemma. i have had a huge crush on my roommate for about 5 months now. the thing is i never told him that i was into guys and i never talk about guys in front of him. we first started hanging out when we were living in the dorm, we met during one of the parties and instantly became really good friends afterwards. since the night we met we have hung out every day just the two of us for like 2 weeks straight. back then my gaydar tells me that he's gay, he's not the straightest looking guy but he's not one of those sassy gay guys, though if you observe him he does have tendencies that are obviously not very straight. then one drunken night he spent the night in my room and we cuddled. it wasnt awkward the next day but we didnt talk about it. and it happened again another time. and again we didnt talk about it.

so then there was this one time when he went away for a week to new orleans. when he came back he was acting so weird and distant. i thought i did something wrong that freaked him out, our friendship kinda deteriorated but after a few weeks it got back to normal. then we moved in together after new years. and then i heard rumors that he has a crush on our best-friend who happens to be a girl. she is around all the time, she doesnt live with us but she's at our place most of the time. during that time, i found out that my roommate had a boyfriend a few months back but they broke up. this further confirms that he is at least bi if not gay. so then a week ago we were drinking back home, and he had a little bit more to drink so he was quite drunk. we were hanging out in the room just us two, and he was telling me how he hates this best-friend of our's and that she's a bitch and how he feels like she's playing with his head. and so i was thinking in my mind, "okay he likes her. i should just forget about it." and i havent thought about how i felt about him in a while, so i was kinda seeing him as an older brother figure as opposed to someone i have a crush on. but then while i was sitting by the window smoking a cig, he sat next to me and leaned his head against my shoulders. and he said something like "why are you leading on to something?" but i didnt hear it clearly so i said "what?" and he said "nothing" and moved to the bed. and then the shocking thing is he pulled me to the bed. and so we were cuddling for the longest time. i could tell that we both were really nervous and we were both so hesitant to move further. so i slowly moved my head and i started kissing his cheeks. but i didnt want to kiss him on the lips first. so he finally kissed me and we made out for like an hour on his bed. and he fell asleep in my arms and he had his legs wrapped around me and we stayed in that position til the morning. it wasnt awkward in the morning but we didnt talk about it yet again.

WHAT SHOULD I DO? its making crazy. i kinda want to talk to him about it but i dont know what to say. i want to be in a relationship with him. he makes me happy. he makes me smile. he makes me laugh. he's good for me. he's a good guy. and i look up to him so much. HELPPPP

 

[anchihiro]

Well your both just at the awkward dancing around each other stage.
Just let things follow along, be patient and at some point you'll end up together probably. I dont think there's anything you NEED to do that the situation wont fall into on its own.

 

[neditesjamais]

i kinda want to talk to him about it but i dont know what to say. i want to be in a relationship with him. he makes me happy. he makes me smile. he makes me laugh. he's good for me. he's a good guy. and i look up to him so much. HELPPPP

Wouldn't he like to hear pretty much everything you put in here? Try telling him two or three of the things you wrote in here, something like this:

"I look up to you so much. You're a good guy. You make me smile, laugh, feel happy."

Regardless whatever else happens in the relationship, isn't it worth telling him that much?

I'm also betting you'll know pretty fast how the rest of your conversation is going to go.

Talk is a highly underrated form of communication, but it's pretty useful

ned

 

[evanrick]

so then there was this one time when he went away for a week to new orleans. when he came back he was acting so weird and distant. i thought i did something wrong that freaked him out, our friendship kinda deteriorated but after a few weeks it got back to normal.

WHAT SHOULD I DO? its making crazy.

you may want to ask him why he was acting the way he did when he came back. if you think that would be productive, if not, then dont. you may have caused him some distress if he is feeling conflicted about his identity, but its clear he needs support. you may want to talk about this more in the relationships forum. i would say yes this guy is gay and a relationship looks pretty natural at this point.

 

[wonderwort]

Talk to him. Tell him your feelings and give him some space and be supportive if he's struggling with his sexuality.

 

[LikesDudes2]

You know what I think? I think you sound like an awesome and caring guy. I've had a crush on my best guy friend too, so I know how it feels. Sometimes even straight guys love their guy friends so much that the only way we feel we can act out on it, to give them our greatest love, is sexually. Just make sure this isn't some best guy friend sort of deal rather than some platonic love thing gone wild.

Anyway, best of luck.

 

[LikesDudes2]

I'm hammered.^^that made no sense at all hahaha

 

[texan_slant]

Well, are you out to him? If not, you might want to come out, and it be a segue into your friend talking about his own feelings, if you open up to him.

Do you only cuddle after drinking? If so, that's not a good sign, either. It clouds judgement, memory, etc. going into a situation and promotes too many mixed feelings afterwards (resentment, regret, questions of why did I do this, etc)