I'm not really sure what exactly to call it... but, last night, I was fooling around with a guy I'm seeing, and I was making out with him, he was on his back and I was on top of him straddling him while kissing. He kept pushing his dick up against my asshole... it never went inside, but just pressed against the outside. I'm worried because I know precum can contain HIV, and that the virus can enter into little cuts, even on the outside. He told me that he'd been tested a month and a half ago and that he hasn't slept with anyone since then besides me, so I shouldn't be too worried, and I know in general he hasn't had that many partners and doesn't fuck without a condom... but I'm just a little anxious about if that was indeed an unsafe activity... ?
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"Humping" without a condom... how risky is it?
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altlover85
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I would get tested just to be sure, but I wouldn't obsess over it either.
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HIV is very low risk given what you've described.
HPV... well, that's another issue.
But of course the rule is, "If you're sexually active with multiple partners, get tested for all STDs on a regular basis".
HPV... well, that's another issue.
But of course the rule is, "If you're sexually active with multiple partners, get tested for all STDs on a regular basis".
I haven't been tested in a while so I think I'll go on Tuesday anyways... Could you explain why it's a low risk activity for HIV?
An update: I discussed it with him further and he told me that, while he has been tested recently, he cannot be absolutely certain that, since he was tested (about a month and a half ago) that I'm the only guy he's slept with since then. He can't remember if the other guy he slept with was before or after the last time he's been tested. However, he claims that it doesn't make a difference, since he always uses protection. I told him that obviously always using protection is not the point here, since we clearly did something unprotected even if penetration was not involved, and that, logically, if the other guy did the same thing to him, and then he did it to me, then it's possible that it could be passed. But, he says it really isn't likely since he's a total top and the other guy he was with (regardless of if that was before or after the last time he was tested) didn't do to him what he did to me last night (rubbing his dick on my asshole). Hope that makes sense.
An update: I discussed it with him further and he told me that, while he has been tested recently, he cannot be absolutely certain that, since he was tested (about a month and a half ago) that I'm the only guy he's slept with since then. He can't remember if the other guy he slept with was before or after the last time he's been tested. However, he claims that it doesn't make a difference, since he always uses protection. I told him that obviously always using protection is not the point here, since we clearly did something unprotected even if penetration was not involved, and that, logically, if the other guy did the same thing to him, and then he did it to me, then it's possible that it could be passed. But, he says it really isn't likely since he's a total top and the other guy he was with (regardless of if that was before or after the last time he was tested) didn't do to him what he did to me last night (rubbing his dick on my asshole). Hope that makes sense.
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No penetration. No body fluid exchange. Those are two things that determine relative risk for HIV.
One thing: if you get tested on Tuesday, this sexual encounter won't show up in the results. Different STDs have different incubation periods. In the case of HIV it's three to six months. If it's been a while, Tuesday's still a good idea though.
I do realize that we always want to have safe sex but good lord it seems there are two extremes lately. The absolute abandon don't care "piggy" guys, and the ultra paranoid almost germophobic "too safe" guys.
I would love to see one even remote study that would have described getting HIV this way. I firmly don't believe that you had but a cunt hair's chance in hell in getting HIV this way.
Believe me I'm not trying to downgrade you, personally, but at this point with the amount of education out there do we really need to be this paranoid?
I would love to see one even remote study that would have described getting HIV this way. I firmly don't believe that you had but a cunt hair's chance in hell in getting HIV this way.
Believe me I'm not trying to downgrade you, personally, but at this point with the amount of education out there do we really need to be this paranoid?
Yeah, I've never barebacked and don't plan to. We were just fooling around and it was really hot. I'd do the same kind of thing to my ex. There's the weird tension going on when you both know there's no condom and you don't want to stop the moment and you can feel this "I just wanna stick it in" kind of urge... but I didn't let him.
Treanir - Yeah, I'm aware of the window period, was thinking maybe the place I go to, maybe they'll have rapid testing. Not sure how common that is?
Tidimus - I'm not sure why you think it's so absurd. I guess it's similar to being worried about getting HIV from giving head. But let's say someone has lacerations or cuts in his mouth while giving head, and the precum is from a guy who is HIV positive. It's the same thing with the asshole - tiny lacerations or little cuts + precum. I know it's not as extreme as getting fucked without a condom, but in terms of how I understood the possibility of infection, it seemed possible... but you're right, I do tend to be a little on the paranoid side. That's because I'm young, sexually active, and sometimes have multiple sexual partners... so safe(r) sex is really important to me.
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Fear has a role to play in our lives. I helps us to first look to the left when crossing a street in the US and to the right when doing the same in the UK. When it prevents us from crossing or keeps us worried after we crossed we have a problem.
You are choosing to live within the safer sex guidelines and get tested for all STDs regularly. You could end all risks by entering a convent, but do realize that your risk for HIV couldn't be lower unless you were abstinent.
You are choosing to live within the safer sex guidelines and get tested for all STDs regularly. You could end all risks by entering a convent, but do realize that your risk for HIV couldn't be lower unless you were abstinent.
Huh? I'm not sure what the point is that you're trying to make. I get tested maybe once or twice a year. I'm not TERRIFIED, I don't go out and get tested after every guy I have sex with. But this particular case was just a little different.
altlover85
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I'm pretty sure he's telling you you're doing everything right. He's letting you know that the only way to have no risk is to abstinent, which is correct. But he's not saying you should be.