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I am not out but hooked up with a Man

L

looker

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Hello, I am totally in the closet but this past weekend I hooked up with a guy ( who is openly gay and lives with his partner) I am now afraid that he will tell someone....(although he said that he would not) He is only the 2nd guy that I hooked up with. Just touching kissing and oral sex. I now feel guilty....If my parents find out I am toast! I want to text him and ask him not to say anything. I mean, he does not want to screw up things with his lover...and I dont want everyone to know that I did that with him. Any thoughts as to how to handle this?
 
ok the more flap you make over this the worse it will be

sometimes by focusing on things you kinda make them happen

just don't do anything

maybe next time be a little more careful who you fool around with

this is gonna sound weird but you prolly would do better to find a straight or mostly straight guy if you want to fool around and still be in the closet cuz I can tell you he won't be blabbing anything especially if he has a gf and more so if she's a mealticket

i know that sounds cynical but any port in a storm dude
 
Well, I am worried about the fact that I am not out...and do not want him to say anything. I hope that he does not. I was really drunk....in fact extremely and he leans over and kissed me really hard with his tounge. He is only the 2nd guy that I have hooked up with and it is always the same....The last time I hooked up I felt this way. Upset that I did that...I would not do it sober....the urge was there but I doubt it would happen. I just feel dirty somehow.
 
Just relax to begin with.

If he said he wouldn't tell, then he won't.

But you hooked up with someone who's partnered?

Is he cheating?

If so, you get whatever is coming.

So to speak.
 
Well, I don't know how this works within the gay community? I certainly will not hook up with him again. He made the first move...I just went with it. Not sure what to do now? I certainly do not want to date him or break up their relationship. It was just something that happened while drunk...I would not call it cheating though.
 
Look, I've been in your situation and lost a friendship because of it.

1) Don't hook up or get involved with someone who is already taken. Big mistake.

2) There's no excuse for what happened. Stop drinking!

3) Don't worry about him. Words are words, I don't think he'll tell anyone.
 
JEEZus H Christ cut the guy some slack

hey looker

you fucked up

everyone has done it especially while drunk

you are not dirty either

apparently no one here has heard of "all is fair in love and war"
 
thanks 954dude. I hope that he just stays quiet. No reason to risk his relationship and my reputation over one drunken weekend mistake. I guess that just shows you that when under the influence, anything could happen....usually not good. I hope I am making this out to be worse than it is.
 
looker said:
thanks 954dude. I hope that he just stays quiet. No reason to risk his relationship and my reputation over one drunken weekend mistake. I guess that just shows you that when under the influence, anything could happen....usually not good. I hope I am making this out to be worse than it is.
Click to expand...

No problem. You're paranoid because you haven't come out of the closet yet. This talk of a damaged reputation isn't healthy. If you're gay/bisexual, don't be ashamed of it. Come out when you're ready to, but until then, make better choices that'll help you do good things for yourself. Love who you are!!
 
Looker:

You are not the first guy to get drunk and get a blowjob from another guy. If that makes you gay, then the entire college fraternity system is gayer than we ever imagined it could be.

So what if this guy says something? It's your word against his.

If all else fails, you have the universal fratboy excuse: "I was drunk and I don't remember a thing".

But this isn't about getting drunk, getting blown or helping someone cheat on their partner. It's about that little secret and that closet that continues to get smaller and smaller and smaller.

Eventually that's something you'll have to deal with.

But not today.

In the meantime, chill out and stop stressing over nothing.
 
Thanks KaraBalut. I hope you are right. I dont want to think about this anymore. I think I will keep a very low profile.
 
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