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I came out as Bi to my best friend...

B

biguy021

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Hello,
I have been thinking about coming out to someone for a long time now, not everyone, just one person I can truly be myself with. I decide on my best friend, he's straight (Sadly...), but liberally minded. But still, I was extremely nervous, I mean sure he says all this stuff but I've never seen his open mindedness tested. What if he changes towards me? What if this pushes us away as he realizes how attractive I find him?

We where sitting in his car and I said "Dude, I need to tell you something".

He Jokingly replied "Your gay?"

and I said "No, Bi"

"Oh... Okay. Never would have guessed, how long have you known?"

and we chatted about it for a while and then he made a stupid "Gay" joke and we laughed and went on with our night. What truly shocked me was how suddenly free I felt, I was not hiding ANYTHING from him anymore. And how at the same time, nothing was different. His behavior was so normal that I wondered if he had pushed it out of his mind or forgotten, then he'd point at some very large old man and say "That doing anything for you?" and I'd laugh my ass off. He even sounded genuinely annoyed when he found out that I've missed opportunities to hit on great guys because he was around, and a bit hurt that it took me this long to tell him.

I only feel closer to him now, I have no doubt that he is truly my best friend in the world, no matter what happens.
 
biguy021 said:
Hello,
I have been thinking about coming out to someone for a long time now, not everyone, just one person I can truly be myself with. I decide on my best friend, he's straight (Sadly...), but liberally minded. But still, I was extremely nervous, I mean sure he says all this stuff but I've never seen his open mindedness tested. What if he changes towards me? What if this pushes us away as he realizes how attractive I find him?

We where sitting in his car and I said "Dude, I need to tell you something".

He Jokingly replied "Your gay?"

and I said "No, Bi"

"Oh... Okay. Never would have guessed, how long have you known?"

and we chatted about it for a while and then he made a stupid "Gay" joke and we laughed and went on with our night. What truly shocked me was how suddenly free I felt, I was not hiding ANYTHING from him anymore. And how at the same time, nothing was different. His behavior was so normal that I wondered if he had pushed it out of his mind or forgotten, then he'd point at some very large old man and say "That doing anything for you?" and I'd laugh my ass off. He even sounded genuinely annoyed when he found out that I've missed opportunities to hit on great guys because he was around, and a bit hurt that it took me this long to tell him.

I only feel closer to him now, I have no doubt that he is truly my best friend in the world, no matter what happens.
Click to expand...

You have a fantastic best friend. True friends accept you and coming out to one can be scary not knowing the reaction. He sounds very cool!

*The only worrisome part is you feeling attracted to him and if he realizes this.
You can be attracted to many people but you don't have to act on it. Not worth losing a great friend.

Even if he is bi or gay, only one being attracted to the other and making it known can fracture a friendship. I've been there a couple times trying to stop a good friend from letting me know he liked me In more than a friend way. They did. Didn't go well in my cases. And I lost 2 friends I thought were very good friends.

If your friend is straight, he May find it flattering you like him, but it can be really awkward after that and affect your relationship.

Men come and go. Best friends are more difficult to find!
 
Best friends should be cherished. Love everything about him. He respects you for being bi. Respect him for being straight. Love every thing about him.
 
Congrats on coming out! You're right, it's a freeing thing. Especially because your best friend is the one person who should know you better than anyone. When I told my best guy friend he was like "No shit, sherlock."
 
If he's your best friend, he likely already knows or suspects. He won't be "surprised."
 
Congrats! Make sure you joke/tease back with him so you don’t become the joke.
 
you are definitely right about that.

- - - Updated - - -

really? I guess some of us are living in total denial about what our family and friends know.
 
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