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i cant decide

M

mattrunner975

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ok so i have been thinking i am gay for a while now but am just not sure....i mean when i am with a guy i just feel a lot more comfortable then with a girl and i dunno its just different. but i come from one of those families where is would basically be the end of the world if someone in the family was gay so i just don't know what to do. i don't know if this is just like a phase or something but i don't think it is. also all of my friends don't support gay people too much and all that so i just don't know what i should do. part of me wants to just come out and be done with it but the other part is like hellll no. but because i'm not out its basically impossible to meet guys and try a relationship to see if i truly am gay. i dunno does anyone have any advice?
 
Hey there. Welcome to the posting side of JUB! :)

Before I hand out any advice, I'll need to know some more. Are you still in school? Still dependent on the folks? Any future plans as far as career? Also, you do any dating (of girls) at all, either in the past or present? How'd you feel about them? The answers to these will give me a bit clearer picture as to what's going on.

Lex
 
I am a senior in high school this year and will be moving out next august but until then dependent on the parents. as for a career i am not sure what i want to do yet...there are a few things i am interested in but just haven't been able to decide. I have dated girls in the past but only a few but they were for longer periods of time.
 
OK, cool - that gives me a bit clearer picture.

The general rule as far as I'm concerned is to not come out if it'll cause you more harm than good. You're still living at home, under your parents' control, and you're pretty sure your parents will freak out royally if you come out. In short, it sounds like it'll probably cause you more harm than good. So it'd probably be best to hold off on it for awhile.

Yeah, it's gonna suck to not date and hook up with guys for awhile. But August isn't that far away. (Of course, I'm 38 - you get more patient as you get older. :) ) And you've got an eight-month window to plan what you're going to do. Are you going to college? Or jumping right into the workforce? Do you have enough money, or are you making enough, to be able to move out when you graduate? If not, it's a goal you can shoot for while you're biding your time.

Lex
 
Oops, didn't answer a couple other questions directly.

Are you gay? Probably. The signs are mainly positive. Fortunately, you don't appear to have much problem personally with that - that's great.

Your friends? That's up to you. If you have one or two friends you feel especially tight with - ones you think you can talk about anything with - you might consider talking to them. But if you don't feel your at that level, feel free to hold off.

Lex
 
mattrunner975:

I'm guessing that if you're here on JustUsBoys, you probably have at least a strong suspicion that you are attracted to guys.

The thing I always ask in these situations is, "What if...".

So- what if you are gay?

Are you okay with that?

And how will being gay change your life?
 
Just because you are in the closet doesn't mean you can't date. My family doesn't track my every move and as long as your family doesn't have you under constant surveillance there's no reason why you can't get out and meet people.
 
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