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I can't have sex

longway2happy

longway2happy

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I have problems opening up to those I'm with romantically and sexually. It takes me forever to ejaculate and I get extremely nervous and anxious when it comes to sex. I've only been able to have sex with one person.

I recently fell in love with a guy and we were dating. it was the most serious relationship I have ever had. I thought it was going to last. I thought I could have sex with him, but the same thing happened again.

Does anyone else have this issue? Can anyone help me get through this?
 
You have severe performance anxiety???


If so my advice is find someone who you can take it extra slow with. Try going bit by bit, get intimate without having sex until one day when you're ready. x
 
Do you feel comfortable being naked around other guys?

Do you feel comfortable being naked in bed with another guy?

Do you have a positive body image of yourself?

I agree, IMO, you have a server case of performance anxiety.

As the cliche' states, "Practice makes perfect!"

Start hooking up with random guys until you are comfortable being naked in bed with other guys. Practice topping and bottoming while you are there. Then when Mr. Right comes along, you'll be ready to perform; and you would have learned some skills along the way.
 
We are all wired differently. Some of us take sex lightly; some of us do not. Most hook ups seem to be in a hurry. I'm in a relationship for almost 28 years and the question, "are you close?" is a game ender for me.

There are sexual therapists that can help, but so can cutting back on pornography and masturbation. Once you are with someone with whom there's mutual trust slow back and forth sex play can be great stimulation. Hanging out naked. Examining each other. Touching, kissing, nibbling, taking a bath or shower together etc. are fun ways to get used to being naked without the "blow and go" mentality.
 
YOu sound prudish by nature. Find another prudish person with whom to mate.
 
Next time you start dating a guy, here's what you do.

When it's time to hit the bedroom, tell him "I need to tell you. I usually get performance anxiety when I go to bed with guys. I probably won't be able to come. So what I'd like to do is just go ahead, have sex, and make sure you get off. Then, once you're done, I'd like you to just sort of hold me in your arms, and I'll see if I can finish myself off. Maybe I'll be able to, maybe I won't. This doesn't mean I don't like you, or that you're doing anything wrong. It's just something a bit screwy in my wiring I'm trying to work through. You OK with that?"

Then - do it. :)

Lex
 
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