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I Could Use a Little Perspective

backpacker

backpacker

fka "vetteboi"
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Take a breath and smell the roses. You are a smart guy, attending a wonderful university. If you don't meet someone in college, you will be able to more to a gay friendly city to start your career. Find some campus activities to get involved in so you won't be lonely and increase your chances of meeting a guy. As far as sparking a guy's interest, just be yourself. I'm sure you have many great qualities, just let them shine. If you pretend to be someone that you're not to attract a guy, you will never be able to hold onto him. Good luck!
 
Holy Hell! You go to Chapel Hill?! That's one of the best public health schools in the country!

If life ends at college, then you and I are in the same boat. I can only assume that since I'm not the only single college guy here on the board, that we're all out there. We're just missing each other.

I'm sure things would be easier if we all just screwed up the courage to ask each other out, haha.
 
WE ARE ONLY 20 F'N YEARS OLD

When you're 40 and haven't settled down, then feel this way. I don't understand why anyone would want to "settle down" so early...
 
luminum said:
If life ends at college, then you and I are in the same boat. I can only assume that since I'm not the only single college guy here on the board, that we're all out there. We're just missing each other.

I'm sure things would be easier if we all just screwed up the courage to ask each other out, haha.
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First off I just want to let you know that Life isn't over until your 30 years old. Then you have to run for it. Avoid the runners and find the safe area and you get to live out your life forever! ;)

Okay seriously I have to agree with Luminum once again. Life isn't over for you. Take your time, explore, have fun, do what you normally do. You find that right person when Time allows it. Look at me...I'm going to be 32 years old in October. Sure I'm old but I'm not lonely. Yes all my friends are married and have kids attending school soon. Just stop worrying. You got other things to worry about like heat, hydro, feeding yourself etc! Don't worry things will work out. (*8*)
 
thats everyones concern once they get out of a serious relationship...its exhausting to think about it, i know...we have all been there...when i broke up with my ex i thought my world had ended because we had already planned so much...now, deeply in love in my second relationship, ive realized that love and life doesnt end at a break up...because now u start fresh...instead of placing all ur bets on one person...maybe u should keep some for urself...the best advice ive received was "dont give all of urself to someone, because once its over, nothing is left for u"
 
#1
Decide to move on. Put your Ex-dude out of your system. Completely and entirely so. He is history and you are now moving on swiftly. No 'ifs and butts' here.

#2
Being without a bf (or at least) a regular FB in college sucks. It sucks the bad way. We all know that and there is no need to play an ostrich game here and pretend all is good by shoving your head in a heap of sand.

#3
Get going and start putting moves on the dudes, you find eligible. You have never done this b4? Gee, there many firsts, when you are 20. Let this be one of those 'firsts'.

For a vast majority of guys, showing guts and initiative is irresistible. Keep that in mind.

#4
Other dudes march to their drums. They are getting married and are popping babies around. In just couple of years, they'll be getting divorced, financially challenged and bitter about their destiny. How many times have I heard "I did everything right, and look, what I ended up with?"

The statistics are against them.

You have got a huge field to play and play according to your own rules. Keep that in mind and use this to your advantage.

Eventually, your personality, your character, your integrity are your destiny.

SC
 
If you invested everything in the relationship then you weren't investing enough in your studies.

There is nothing that says you have to be like everyone else or that you have to keep living in a mountain town after you graduate.

Statistically, more than half your marrying, progeny-producing colleagues will be divorced by the time they're 30 and will have wrecked their lives and their prospects in the process.
 
EVERYONE - gay and straight - is technically at risk of not finding someone to settle down with.

Everyone is also at risk of something (in my eyes, anyway) far far worse than that - settling down with somebody they're not compatible with, because "better anybody than nobody".

I didn't even come out until after college.
I didn't get laid for four more years.
I didn't get my first boyfriend for another year afterwards.
That one didn't work out.
Then I found another guy.
This one seems to be working, nine years on...

Very few of us get the relationship right on the first try. It's heartbreaking, but something positive can come from them. Learn from any mistakes you (or he) may have made, and apply what you've learned to the next relationship.

Lex
 
But, again, you're 22. Yes, some people (gay and straight) have settled down around that age, but most are still in the "looking to have fun" section of their lives. As you get older, more and more people your age will be looking to settle down as well.

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
But, again, you're 22. Yes, some people (gay and straight) have settled down around that age, but most are still in the "looking to have fun" section of their lives. As you get older, more and more people your age will be looking to settle down as well.

Lex
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For many gays, they only start coming out and really start becoming relaxed as a gay man during college and immediately after. That puts the gay guy about 6 years behind his straight counterpart in relationships. The twenties for most gays are their dating and fun years.

Enjoy your life - enjoy discovering who you are and what makes you happy in all the aspects of living. In that discovery, you will probably find a person who will be good for you.

You can probably have a complete and full life without a partner, but let us hope we all find the right one along the way.
 
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