I did something I sort of regret...

[Blue_saber]

Hi, guys! I want to share another of my stories. I will try to be as short as possible, so I don’t get you guys bored.

So, a couple of years ago I was in military service here in my country. My parents usually picked me up from the military base, but one day they didn’t, so I took a walk home.

One of the guys there (we where all 18 ) started to chat with me and was like “Hey, I’ve seen you in school” and stuff. By the time I got to my house he had already told me he was gay and that when he came out he got tossed out of his house by his parents and lost a dear friend. That was prior to asking me if I had a girlfriend (yeah, right!). At this time I was starting to think “I know where this is going”.

So, I felt sympathy for him, and I sometimes even listened to his struggle of loving his best friend and gave a little advice (just a couple of times, as I have my close group of friends). Later one day, he caught up with me when I was leaving school, asked me to sit down with him and started talking about how he got dumped by his friend. Then he threw the bomb and said he liked me. I had no interest in him, as he was not my type, and simply not what I am looking for… I mean, for all he knew I was straight.

So, I faked being straight, and told him that. He told me he was sorry for coming onto me, and since then I started to evade him. This was about 2 years ago, and I think he left school last semester, as I haven’t seen him since. He once told me he had trouble with some school subjects.

That’s it… I tried to be nice and listen to him, but didn’t want anything sentimental. What had you done in my place? Do you think it was bad lying, or not being sincere about me being gay, but not wanting him?
I, being closeted, could have never come out to him just so he knows I’m not interested, but I guess I wouldn’t want someone doing this to me.

Anyway, that’s a thing of the past, but I just wanted to share it.

PS: Don’t think bad of me!

 

[CagedBird]

I think thats a common knee jerk response for us closeted guys in a str8 society.

Watch Brokeback Mountain, a message in there about being true to ones self on issues like these.

Caged

 

[3nipples]

At the age you were at I was heavily closeted and would have lied and told him I wasn't gay like you did. While I wouldn't have become his best friend, I wouldn't have avoided him either.

 

[inverhouse]

i wouldnt think bad of u. i constantly have girls comming on to me @ work. when they ask if im married, i just politely respond "no", i dont go in to details. if they press, i just say im not interested because im in a relationship. its none of their business who fucks me unless i want them to know

 

[bimmrboy]

I wouldn't have done anything different

 

[Danugh]

Dont sweat it i had many missed oppurtunities myself.

There was this guy he said he was straight when i asked him if he was gay. He then asked me to suck his penis. I didnt because i didnt want the feeling of being used so i suggested 69 and he declined.

If i could go back things would have been different because he was very sexy. I had his dick in my hand but i just couldnt do it.


This other guy we were friends and then one day we found out about each other and he wanted to date me but i was not interested and he stopped talking to me.

We had a class together and he dropped the class on day one when he saw was in the same class.

 

[gotdimples77]

Probably wouldnt have done anything different, I do feel bad for him though. There was a dancer guy I went to school with...he had been out for a long time though and was tough about it. He didnt come on to me but i was attracted and wish I had been comfortable enough to ask him out and come out in the process.

 

[MindBlast]

I would have just said I was gay but not interested. No guilty conscience because it's the truth.

 

[luminum]

I would have told him that I was flattered, but that I wasn't interested. Though I would also have said that I would be interested in being his friend, because I usually am.

 

[Eagle653]

Yeah, I did the same thing. I avoided some people too. The thing was, at the time I was very closeted, and they represented a truth that I couldn't face up to yet. In a couple of cases, I really regret it and wish I could turn back time and do it over and treat people differently (especially when they were far ahead of me in dealing with who they are--I could have learned some things from them). Oh well, sometimes it's painful to look backward.

 

[JackFTwist]

I would have told him that I was flattered, but that I wasn't interested. Though I would also have said that I would be interested in being his friend, because I usually am.

that's about where I am - but don't beat yourself up for it blue_saber, we all miss things when they happen and have regrets afterwards, life is for learning

 

[Blue_saber]

As always, thanks a lot for your comments guys!

Well, what I regret is lying to him, and denying I'm gay. I am very sure about my sexuality, no doubt about that. But, as I have not come out yet, I think it would be weird to just say something like "you're not my type...".

What I mean is, nobody knows... in a way, I didn't need to tell him. Plus, what if he started spreading the word? I didn't want that.

Anyway, like I said, that's a thing of the past, and I just wanted to share it, as that's a thing I couln't speak about with my friends or family...

... only with my JUB friends