I’ve always thought of myself as a normal straight guy. I have always been comfortable and secure about myself. Slept with a couple of gals to know I was definitely straight without questions asked. Just the thought of another guy would be wrong for me on so many levels. Well, that’s how I have been living until now, and like everyone else, tomorrow is and always was, a surprise.
Living close to a beach, having friends over, getting drunk or wasted during the weekends are some of the normal things I do. I enjoyed the beach very much because it was one place where I could always find peace. I had a perfect spot. Just by the rocks where the wave crashed and the cool feelings of the salty wind running past my face were some of the wonders that brought me peace. I called this, my time. A time when I could shut the whole world away and think. The afternoons were my very favourites though. The beautiful colour of the sunset stretched across the skies. The wonder of nature, at its very best.
One afternoon, rather than sitting at my spot, I decided to take a long walk. Things were different. I did not feel like sitting down that afternoon. A couple of meters from the rock was a nice little beach house. I have always admired that house. It seemed like a little heaven tucked away by the water. It had a little drive way hidden from the main road that was hard to find if drunk, and a back yard of lovely white sandy beach. What else could anyone ask for?
That afternoon, it seemed like someone was moving in. Mover’s trucks were unloading. There was a woman’s voice. She seemed frustrated. At times she would be quiet and the next moment, shouting at the top of her lungs giving instructions. Since I had nothing better to do, I decided to stop by at the gate and have a look. Well, I didn’t see anything very interesting, I must add. Then as I decided to turn and walk away, I heard a man’s voice. It sounded semi-deep, yet very masculine. Just as I turned back towards the house, the back door opened and out came a tall, well built blue eyed man.
He did not see me, but from where I was standing, I had a clear view. He was wearing a white vest, which sat to perfection on his well shaped chest. Black shots exposing his perfectly carved legs. He had a strong jaw line, a thin moustache and perfectly shaped biceps. He was very handsome and to my surprise, I found myself clued to him. His movements had such intensity; then I saw him drop his keys and when he bent down to pick them up, I caught a glimpse of what seemed to be a hand carved arse. I have never seen an arse like that before. It was so perfect. He was just perfect, in every way.
Then the realization hit me and I became angry because I was stuck on a man. What the hell was I doing? I’m not gay or bi, I’m a straight guy, the guy who loves girls, not guys. I cut my walk short and decided to head home. In the door, I chucked my keys on the table and headed straight for the shower. For about a minute, I stood naked in the middle of my room staring at the wall. I could not understand why - why did I stand there admiring that man?
Yes, he was handsome, yes he was perfectly built, but I’m not gay! What was wrong with me? I walked into the shower and stood under it, thinking of him again. This time, I was touching myself too. I shocked myself at this notion. Anger flooded my mind. Self hatred overwhelmed me.
“This is not normal” I told myself.
After drying myself, naked I walked to the cabinet where I have my hard alcohol hidden from my drunkard friends. Pouring a full glass of whiskey on the rocks, I sank on the couch. What was wrong with me? I have never before thought of any men. Not sexually, and tonight, all I wanted to do was go back to the beach house, so I might catch a glimpse of him again. I wanted to explore him. To touch him, to feel his skin. Hear his voice. To be able to run my hands through his dark well trimmed hair…
My sleep broke at 3 in the morning, due to sweat. I had fallen asleep on the couch. With much effort, I dragged myself to bed. Morning came, filling my room with light. Why is it always hard to get out of bed even though we have done it so many times. It always is.
Day passed at work like every other day. Being a computer tech can be exciting only for a while. Well, I got home, cooked dinner, and not for once did I think about the new guy at the beach house. At about 8pm, I decided to go for a swim. Daylight saving can really work to your advantage. I looked around to see if there was anyone else at the beach. Luckily, there was no one. Making the most of the situation, I stripped naked and I went into the ocean. I did a couple of laps, sat in the water for a while and just as I was ready to get out, I saw someone. It was him. He had his five year old daughter, on his shoulders and his ten year old, walking by his side.
It would be really embarrassing if I was seen naked. And the kids, well I don’t want to go there. I stayed in the water hoping he won’t see me. As he walked past, my eyes got stuck on his hand carved frame. Perfect. Now that he was some distance away from where I was, I made a run for my clothes. I quickly slipped my shorts on and walked over to the rocks. He was there. Sitting at my spot.
I found myself another rock to sit on to watch the sunset but instead, I kept staring at him. I think he saw me a couple of times perving over him, but choose to be ignorant of the fact. He got up, picked up his kids and started walking home. I reminded seated, trying not to draw any attention to myself. He was past me. I could smell his deodorant. As he walked past me, I slowly turned to watch his arse, his perfect arse. He turned, damn it, he turned around and saw me staring.
Shit, shit, he saw me starting at him! This was not good. Embarrassed, I rushed home. Again I could not sleep. I found myself thinking of him. This was going to be another hard night to get through.
Living close to a beach, having friends over, getting drunk or wasted during the weekends are some of the normal things I do. I enjoyed the beach very much because it was one place where I could always find peace. I had a perfect spot. Just by the rocks where the wave crashed and the cool feelings of the salty wind running past my face were some of the wonders that brought me peace. I called this, my time. A time when I could shut the whole world away and think. The afternoons were my very favourites though. The beautiful colour of the sunset stretched across the skies. The wonder of nature, at its very best.
One afternoon, rather than sitting at my spot, I decided to take a long walk. Things were different. I did not feel like sitting down that afternoon. A couple of meters from the rock was a nice little beach house. I have always admired that house. It seemed like a little heaven tucked away by the water. It had a little drive way hidden from the main road that was hard to find if drunk, and a back yard of lovely white sandy beach. What else could anyone ask for?
That afternoon, it seemed like someone was moving in. Mover’s trucks were unloading. There was a woman’s voice. She seemed frustrated. At times she would be quiet and the next moment, shouting at the top of her lungs giving instructions. Since I had nothing better to do, I decided to stop by at the gate and have a look. Well, I didn’t see anything very interesting, I must add. Then as I decided to turn and walk away, I heard a man’s voice. It sounded semi-deep, yet very masculine. Just as I turned back towards the house, the back door opened and out came a tall, well built blue eyed man.
He did not see me, but from where I was standing, I had a clear view. He was wearing a white vest, which sat to perfection on his well shaped chest. Black shots exposing his perfectly carved legs. He had a strong jaw line, a thin moustache and perfectly shaped biceps. He was very handsome and to my surprise, I found myself clued to him. His movements had such intensity; then I saw him drop his keys and when he bent down to pick them up, I caught a glimpse of what seemed to be a hand carved arse. I have never seen an arse like that before. It was so perfect. He was just perfect, in every way.
Then the realization hit me and I became angry because I was stuck on a man. What the hell was I doing? I’m not gay or bi, I’m a straight guy, the guy who loves girls, not guys. I cut my walk short and decided to head home. In the door, I chucked my keys on the table and headed straight for the shower. For about a minute, I stood naked in the middle of my room staring at the wall. I could not understand why - why did I stand there admiring that man?
Yes, he was handsome, yes he was perfectly built, but I’m not gay! What was wrong with me? I walked into the shower and stood under it, thinking of him again. This time, I was touching myself too. I shocked myself at this notion. Anger flooded my mind. Self hatred overwhelmed me.
“This is not normal” I told myself.
After drying myself, naked I walked to the cabinet where I have my hard alcohol hidden from my drunkard friends. Pouring a full glass of whiskey on the rocks, I sank on the couch. What was wrong with me? I have never before thought of any men. Not sexually, and tonight, all I wanted to do was go back to the beach house, so I might catch a glimpse of him again. I wanted to explore him. To touch him, to feel his skin. Hear his voice. To be able to run my hands through his dark well trimmed hair…
**********
My sleep broke at 3 in the morning, due to sweat. I had fallen asleep on the couch. With much effort, I dragged myself to bed. Morning came, filling my room with light. Why is it always hard to get out of bed even though we have done it so many times. It always is.
Day passed at work like every other day. Being a computer tech can be exciting only for a while. Well, I got home, cooked dinner, and not for once did I think about the new guy at the beach house. At about 8pm, I decided to go for a swim. Daylight saving can really work to your advantage. I looked around to see if there was anyone else at the beach. Luckily, there was no one. Making the most of the situation, I stripped naked and I went into the ocean. I did a couple of laps, sat in the water for a while and just as I was ready to get out, I saw someone. It was him. He had his five year old daughter, on his shoulders and his ten year old, walking by his side.
It would be really embarrassing if I was seen naked. And the kids, well I don’t want to go there. I stayed in the water hoping he won’t see me. As he walked past, my eyes got stuck on his hand carved frame. Perfect. Now that he was some distance away from where I was, I made a run for my clothes. I quickly slipped my shorts on and walked over to the rocks. He was there. Sitting at my spot.
I found myself another rock to sit on to watch the sunset but instead, I kept staring at him. I think he saw me a couple of times perving over him, but choose to be ignorant of the fact. He got up, picked up his kids and started walking home. I reminded seated, trying not to draw any attention to myself. He was past me. I could smell his deodorant. As he walked past me, I slowly turned to watch his arse, his perfect arse. He turned, damn it, he turned around and saw me staring.
Shit, shit, he saw me starting at him! This was not good. Embarrassed, I rushed home. Again I could not sleep. I found myself thinking of him. This was going to be another hard night to get through.
