I don't know if he's worth it

[LatinCoffee]

Hey You'resodamnhot!! You need to take it slow with this guy. With any relationship, things take time. That way you get to know him better and feel him out and vice versa. Go out and meet people. Make friends and from those friends...you never know--something awesome and interesting can happen. Just don't jump the gun too quick! Probably you're online friend thought that you have the hotts for David. Just continue getting to know him and enjoy his company.
Once you get older and more experience...you'll understand.

All this that I wrote--Im def. doing. I used to be the same way when I cam out at 23 years old.

 

[backpacker]

It takes a lot of time for a relationship and deep feelings to develop. After three dates, you really can't expect that he would have had strong feelings for you. The early stage of dating is for feeling people out and determining if there could be a good match. Honestly, I totally understand why he stopped dating after the comments you made about your best friend. The comments were really immature and gave an indication of the way you will handle problems in a relationship. I hope you have learned from your mistake. What I don't understand is his immature way of breaking things off. You really deserved a phone call telling you that he wasn't interested in dating anymore. For future reference, showing up at someone's house like you did is usually a bad idea. I'm glad it worked out well this time.

While you guys have gotten off to a rocky start, things certainly can develop into a loving and caring relationship. Keep in mind that it's not going to be easy. Relationships have ups and downs. Your lack of relationship experience will probably create some issues as well. The best thing you can do is not to put expectations on where the relationship will go. Take things one date at a time and let things develop naturally. You should also let him know that if you do something he doesn't like, he needs to talk to you about it. Hopefully this recent experience will let him see that you can handle the truth in a mature way. Good luck!

 

[TX-Beau]

You're coming across as incredibly needy just in that post. I certainly hope you didn't sound like that on your date. This guy you went out with doesn't know you, isn't your friend, and doesn't have any real interest in your feelings this early on.

Issue 1. His response to why he didn't call you sounds to me like an excuse. Despite whatever you may have said, the fact that he just dropped you like that without even an email or text, let alone the consideration of telling you - which is the right thing to do - is just as immature as anything he may have accused you of, always watch what a boy does. Guys are usually easy to read from their actions.

Issue two, if you're already wondering if he's worth it, the answer is no. People don't ever ask that question if the answer is yes.

Issue three, don't sabotage yourself by burying all of your dates under vast mountains of emotional baggage. If you're just having a good time, being a fun guy, you'll get better results than if you go into every date expecting it to be true love. You're gonna have to date a lot of guys probably to find one who'll give you what you want.

 

[TX-Beau]

And By the way, you're frikkin' 21, whats the rush?

 

[Seasoned]

You need a good, long talk with Mr. "Perfect," which, by the way, he's not! Everyone makes mistakes and falls short---like he did, by dropping you and not talking to you about it. You have just as much, if not more, right to be angry and disappointed in him.

What's worse, discussing someone behind their back, or ignoring them? I'm afraid he now has the upper hand, by knowing you will try to change for him. What is he willing to do to keep you?

 

[asian87]

You seem like a genuinely good guy. Like you, I had been trying to avoid meeting people online but things happen.

Last year I met a man online and we met in person first time just few weeks ago. The difference between you and me is that I didn't expect a relationship with him until things began to work their own way. That was because we took time to know each other and agreed that we cannot not fall in love.

Well this is little veered from your subject, what I say here is that you should not get too bothered seeking love. Love just happens. But for it to happen, you have to be practical all the time. And you should know that some people may avoid you if you are too demanding.

Take more time to work things out.

 

[NineOfClubs]

Issue two, if you're already wondering if he's worth it, the answer is no. People don't ever ask that question if the answer is yes.

This was going to be my response.

If you even have to ask the question, then the answer is no.

 

[spencer]

anyone who is that critical and is quick to judge isn't really worth it. plus he's not available anyway. he pointed out an excuse (which probably isn't the only reason, he just wanted to say something). so just play it cool and date other men and not be so fixated on one. When you stick on one, you hang on and it envelopes you and you overthink everything. go out and be 21 (safely)

 

[asian87]

Oh yes I forgot to mention he didn't worth it. From now just make sure you remain practical as you meet people.

 

[TX-Beau]

This is true. I guess I'm just young. I still feel lonely though. I'm not trying to point fingers, but the media is pushing youth to believe that if they haven't gotten divorced at least once by twenty-five then they're too far behind. Every song you hear on the radio is about love. Every television show is portraying teens as adults in the way they handle their relationships. I guess I'm the only person I know who has yet to experience my own gratification in that sense.

When I was that age, I used to tell myself that I’d like to have a relationship. I’d say this to myself with guys I was dating, and I was completely serious. But I didn’t really want to stop having a good time with all the boys, I wasn’t interested in the kind of compromises a relationship requires, I sure as hell didn’t want to give up any of my freedom, and there was no way I’d have been able to do the monogamy thing. What was attractive was a bunch of silly ideas I had in my head.

I told myself that I wanted a relationship, but I didn’t really, I just liked the idea of a relationship. A lot of guys make that mistake. When I finally got into a relationship, it happened almost without me knowing it. One day I was party guy, eight months later I found myself doing all of those things that I wasn’t interested in doing six years earlier.

Don’t sweat it; things will happen organically if you let them. So if you want to see this guy again – as long as you’re not going into it thinking that he’s your one true love, and you’ll do anything to keep him – so be it. Also, yourself first just now, leave if you want to. You don’t need to explain if you do, just tell him you’re not interested. I say this because I suspect that what he told you was bogus, and he’s not reliable.

 

[spencer]

I think quite the opposite. They're saying don't get married until you've lived with each other so that you know you're fully compatible (keeps the divorce rate down too).

 

[yourally]

The fact that he didn't think you were a complete freak by driving over shows promise to me...try to be more calm and just take it slow...but heck, what do I know?