I don't know what I am...

[MysteriousBoy]

Hey everyone.
This is a bit weird so bear with me. Basically I don't know whether Im Gay, straight, Curious, Bisexual...or what.

The reason I say this is because I am physically attracted to both men and female, and I know that makes me sound Bisexual but it goes deeper than that. With men, I could never ever see myself having a relationship with them and spending my life with them, where as with a girl I could definitely see myself having a relationship and marrying them and having a family (and not just because that's the social norm).
But I don't even know if I could see myself ever having sex with another man. I do feel a strong attraction to some males though, but the thought of having sex with them just doesn't feel natural to me (Im not saying Im homophobic, it just wouldn't feel natural to ME, im not saying it isn't natural).
I've had a few straight relationships and the girls Ive dated have been great. The most recent girl I was involved with was gorgeous, really stunning and most of the lads fancied her, me included! We got really close but she turned out to be a bit of a Psychopath (she loved attention, she lied about things and she seemed really needy) so I decided not to date her in the end. And ever since it's got me focused more on my true sexuality. Am I just a straight guy who's curious? I act straight aswell, no ones ever guess Im gay and I don't do anything feminine (not saying it's bad if you do).

But anyway, yeah I'd really like some help on the issue! Anyone willing to share advice, or who has been through the same thing would be good to talk to about it.

Ps. Is this like a normal Gay forum, or like a porn gay forum? Cause Im just trying to look for a normal forum, Im not into the whole online-sex thing.

 

[Seasoned]

Welcome. I'm glad you found JUB. People might try telling you who and what you are, but you are the only person that can do it. It seems, at the very least, that you are curious. From what you posted and even though you write that it is not an issue, I detect some homophobia. I'd continue checking that out. Also, take a look at your masturbatory fantasies. That should tell you a lot. Good luck to you.

 

[MysteriousBoy]

Welcome. I'm glad you found JUB. People might try telling you who and what you are, but you are the only person that can do it. It seems, at the very least, that you are curious. From what you posted and even though you write that it is not an issue, I detect some homophobia. I'd continue checking that out. Also, take a look at your masturbatory fantasies. That should tell you a lot. Good luck to you.

Thanks for that reply! Yeah I guess you're right.
As for being Homophobic, Im definitely 100% not. I have a friend who's Gay and I'm completely comfortable around him and even when he talks about his relationships (he's a bit of gay slut) it doesn't bother me or repulse me. He actually came out to me first and I kept his secret for ages and never felt uncomfortable around him so i don't think Im homophobic. It's more that I could never see MYSELF having sex or a relationship with another guy, not because the idea repulses me or anything, just I don't think I would be suited to it. I couldn't personally see myself sitting at a table having a romantic dinner for two with another guy, but I could see myself having that with a girl. I dunno it's strange haha! I can't explain it.

 

[bankside]

Just for a second, picture yourself in a relationship with a guy. You've woken up out of a coma or aliens put you in a spaceship or something, and you don't know quite how, but now here you are five years later and you wake up in a committed relationship with a guy.

What exactly would be weird about that? What things just wouldn't feel right? What would leave you shaking your head and saying "Sorry, mate, I just can't do this."

It would be interesting to know, and it might help you figure out where your future lies.

 

[RobUK2]

It might not be homophobia of any kind. I've heard some bisexual men say the same thing. Remember, with the Kinsey Scale, sexuality is more a spectrum, with every possible orientation there somewhere. Maybe you're just bi-curious - some guys are...

 

[MysteriousBoy]

Just for a second, picture yourself in a relationship with a guy. You've woken up out of a coma or aliens put you in a spaceship or something, and you don't know quite how, but now here you are five years later and you wake up in a committed relationship with a guy.

What exactly would be weird about that? What things just wouldn't feel right? What would leave you shaking your head and saying "Sorry, mate, I just can't do this."

It would be interesting to know, and it might help you figure out where your future lies.

Good point. I guess it would be lack of experience. I've dated girls and have had a really good time doing it, so to me it feels natural. But I've never dated guys or even flirted with guys (only time this ever happened was in a club when a guy approached me and tried to flirt, but I walked off to find my mates cause I don't do flirting in clubs regardless of whether it's a girl or a boy). So I guess the only way I could know is if I went into a relationship with a guy and tested it, but even then it's not fair to use somebody as an experiment.

I also like the idea of having a wife and kids. I'm not saying it's wrong to be in a relationship with a guy, just I see myself as more suited to a hetrosexual relationship. But at the same time I do have some level of attraction to males. I guess Im young and have time to explore my sexuality as the years go by.

 

[exceeder]

Hey everyone.

Ps. Is this like a normal Gay forum, or like a porn gay forum? Cause Im just trying to look for a normal forum, Im not into the whole online-sex thing.

Well, this is a gay forum directed from a gay porn website, but as you can see not all topics are about porn, lol. I used to come online here as a guest to just read the comments in this very board until I decided to join, so I'm sure i'm not alone here when I say that I spend most my time in the non-porn related portion of the forum. Not that there is anything wrong with chillin' or spammin in the porn-related sections, haha .

 

[ucfknight12]

Good point. I guess it would be lack of experience. I've dated girls and have had a really good time doing it, so to me it feels natural. But I've never dated guys or even flirted with guys (only time this ever happened was in a club when a guy approached me and tried to flirt, but I walked off to find my mates cause I don't do flirting in clubs regardless of whether it's a girl or a boy). So I guess the only way I could know is if I went into a relationship with a guy and tested it, but even then it's not fair to use somebody as an experiment.

I also like the idea of having a wife and kids. I'm not saying it's wrong to be in a relationship with a guy, just I see myself as more suited to a hetrosexual relationship. But at the same time I do have some level of attraction to males. I guess Im young and have time to explore my sexuality as the years go by.

You're going to have to experiment, its as simple as that... you can either go through life wondering or you can take the risk experimenting. If you find a guy thats attractive (and is interested in men) try flirting with him and if you guys hit it off be honest with him and tell him you don't know where you stand sexually and he may just understand and you guys can go in a relationship and then you can have something to think on...

 

[KaraBulut]

I guess Im young and have time to explore my sexuality as the years go by

That is the definition of being young.

But it seems counter to this analysis-paralysis over what word to call yourself.

Time would be better spent actually getting into the water instead worrying about whether you're a backstroke, australian crawl or free-style swimmer.