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I dont know what to do...

T

THORIS

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Long story short


I met this great guy 3 months ago on a gay hookup website. We really clicked and hit it off.

Fast forward 3 months of great dates and activities i ask him "where are we at relationship wise"

He told me we are just dating exclusively ( i was under the impression we were Bf's since i asked him a month ago if he wanted to make it official)

He told me Bf's means that you put other person above you needs
and he feels we are not there yet.


My main concern is he still frequently surfs the gay hookup website ( says its to talk to friends)


We have not had sex for 3 weeks and has been a bit distant.

I broke up with him for lack of communication ( we got back together that same day) When i broke up with him he didn't even seem upset.

I ask him if i can meet his friends and he always skirts the issue... ( I feel like i am having an affair with a married man)



I really love spending time with him and I really want it to work. but the no sex, hookup website and the lack of meeting his friends..bother me alot


What should i do...


What
 
You deserve to be happy. This is too one-sided.
 
I would move on as difficult as that may be. At least if you do it now, you'll be available to a quality guy and won't have wasted time with this guy.
 
Simple. Be honest (not nagging) about what you want from the relationship. If he can't provide it, then move on to someone who can.

But you already know that...
 
Well he broke up with me after we had a talk that the non-existence of sex was a problem.

He said he would feel guilty every time he saw me if we stayed as a couple. Yet we can still hang out and do the things we planed to do.

I asked him dont you think it would be hard if you started dating someone or if I started dating someone.

He wants to do everything that we did before, Spoon while we are sleeping, movies, cook, travel ect yet only as friends not as a couple
 
How do you feel about him? Do you still have feelings for him? Do you still want to be a couple with him, even though he doesn't want to be one with you?
 
I really love him...

Everything was great except for the non-existence of sex.
 
Honestly, if after 3 months the sex was non-existent.... then it was more of a best friend-snugglebuddy thing.

Nothing wrong with that, unless you want more. Which you do.

There's a guy out there who can be your best friend, a snuggle buddy and with whom you can have all the hotsweatybuttsex that you want. Go find him.
 
It's rare for a case to be this black and white.

Dump him. He's not your bf and has no intention of ever being your bf.

Ever.
 
I say don't waste another minute on this dead-end.

There is a real bf out there for you.
 
I did something similar as far as the break up and get back together in one day (or maybe the next day) when I was 19. :lol:

Oh, and THORIS, you should definitely move on. If you want more out of it than he does, you're just wasting your time.
 
I hate to break the news to you, but he's not as into you as you are into him. He has already started moving on. You need to accept that and go find a guy who is as into you as you are into him. Good luck!
 
Yeah I am moving on; its not easy but shit happens.

When he broke up with me he told we can do everything we were doing before but only as friends..

He wants the companionship but not the title ore commitment.
 
It's great your moving on, but try not to take him up on his offer of doing everything, but only as friends.
 
He wants to lay in the bed but not sleep in it.

He probably is a much better friend then he was a lover
 
You don't get it. Being friends with this guy isn't going to work unless the majority of your romantic feelings are gone. Otherwise the friendship will be uneven and you'll have a false sense of fulfillment from a friendship that might prevent you from getting a real boyfriend.
 
altlover is 100% right. I was recently in a situation with a dude who I was COMPLETELY, 100% into, and it wasn't evenly reciprocated. He later did approach with the "let's be friends," and I politely declined.

Long story short - you don't want to be his friend. He only wants to be your friend. Appreciate the fact that you know where you stand. The thing that sucks about putting yourself out there and dating is that everyone tells you the great things about it, but everyone forgets to tell you something very important, which I was just told after my last "potential:" Disappoint is a part of dating.

Once you find someone else, you'll be OK.
 
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