I don't understand!

[misterblueeyes]

There is this guy I met from my area on Okcupid a couple of weeks ago. We have been talking quite a while on Facebook and through text messaging. And we even met each other once in person the same week after we met each other online. I have been trying to invite him to go and hang out again, whether it be just to chit-chat or a movie or even dinner. But he always seems to make an excuse as to why he can't go out. Sometimes he uses the fact that he doesn't have a job right now and doesn't have a lot of money to do anything, but I've told him before that that doesn't bother me. And that we can just go out and talk or something. But still no.

He continues though to text me and comment on my Facebook posts and pictures, even claiming I'm "cute". I just don't get it why he never wants to hang out in person. It kind of frustrates me because I don't know whether or not he really likes me. I mean, I don't know whether to keep waiting for him or just move on to someone else who does want to meet up in person.

I feel I just need to get on with my life and when he's ready to hang out then I'll gladly accept the invitation. I am really tired of asking him out and getting a rejection. I don't understand why he never wants to meet me in person.

 

[G-Lexington]

Well, let me pull this old chestnut out. Hope it's not too dusty.

Don't ask us.
Ask him.

If I had to guess, I'd say perhaps he's really not that social. Maybe he likes talking to you via the impersonal text and IM routes, but isn't too keen on being with you. Yeah, you'd think that being on OKCupid suggests that he'd want to eventually move it into the physical realm, but people don't always do logical things.

I'd just consider him an "internet friend" for now, and feel free to pursue other options. You're certainly under no obligation to wait around for him. If he eventually comes around and wants to meet up, great, but don't put everything (or anything) on hold for him.

Lex

 

[rareboy]

I'd dump him and move on.

 

[hylas]

i second rareboys advice: move on. he refuses your invitations time and again? well, too bad for him. have a little pride here, dont follow him around like some puppy-dog.

 

[hotb0d]

instead of getting reject, maybe you should do the rejection. Just don't initiate contact and see what he will do. If he's interested then I'm 100% sure he'll contact you again. And if he only texts you about some random things, then just ignore them. Unless he asks you to hang out, ignore him and continue with your daily life. Go find other people.

 

[evanrick]

these guys are pretty harsh. ill pm you with some advice.

 

[trikky]

Maybe he is just happy having an internet buddy and doesn't want it to go anywhere. But as he isn't giving you any indication that he wants to take it further, then you should not put anything on hold for him. By all means keep him as an internet buddy but just realise the limitations of what this will become. I think with guys in general if they aren't interested they just go silent on you or reject your offers to hang out.

 

[KaraBulut]

For your own benefit, it would be better to recognize there's no future to this situation. Put the effort into a guy who doesn't require this much work.