I Dunno How I Feel

[lonnie1]

What you're describing is a sense of intimacy--someone you feel comfortable with and can talk about anything with. As Molten Rock suggested, why don't you search for a gay friend or two that appeal to you sexually. Start out with only friendship (no sex). Get to know them while you're still in the closet and see if you want it to go anywhere from there. It will be difficult for you to come out since you have a reputation for being a ladies' man, but if you find yourself really falling for one of the guys, you'll find a way to work it out.

 

[KaraBulut]

Welcome to JUB, Jay and congrats on your first post.

Feelings between guys are very complicated. That's one of the reasons we get so many posts about guys being confused about what they're feeling toward their friends.

The only way that you're going to resolve this unknown in your life is to make it known. That means dating (note: not just fucking) another guy.

But to take that step, you're going to have to be willing to accept what you discover-

• You may discover that you prefer close friendships with guys but can't handle a physical-emotional relationship with them.
• You may discover that it all just "feels right" with another guy.

Good luck to you whichever way you go. Keep us updated on how it goes.

 

[Lube]

Well, your mate's brother is the guy everyone else here has been telling you to find: a gay guy you can trust to talk about things and find other gay friends. Is he in the same town as your uni? Or does he know people there?

He's your perfect in. Or out.

 

[Muscles4daze]

I've always been a ladies guy and at 19 I've had more than my fair share but I've struggled to commit emotionally to women. I started to fancy men when I was hitting puberty and thought it was just a phase, but apparently not. I've considered myself as bi but had always been too scared to ever do anything with a guy at the risk of being found out by friends and family.

I'm a very sexual person, I love sex however my relationships with women have always been very short and I lose interest soon after having sex. I want to be in a relationship but can't commit and when I try hard I just end up ruining it all. I'm at uni at the minute and people think I'm just about sleeping around but I really would love to have more but just can't.

I've slept with a guy only once when I was involved in a drunken threesome with my ex and her boyfriend(a friend and housemate of mine also). Afterwards I wanted to be with this guy and missed him when I wasn't around him. This was just before christmas.

I dunno what's wrong with me, I want to have a meaningful loving relationship with a girl but can't however I've only slept with this guy once whilst drunk and I've never felt the way I do about him. I feel so confused

Wow my ex-boyfriend was just like you and that's why he's my ex lol.
He loved plowing women (because society told him that's what men are suppose to do), but he would come to me for cuddling and other forms of affectionate (except for sex), sex was always an issue with him.

 

[Lube]

I've never really got on with openly gay men and my gaydar for straight acting gays is non-existant.

My mates brother is gay and I get on with him (he came out to me and still hasn't told many others) but other than him I think other gay men just think of me as a macho twat.

nope I go to uni in Sheffield and he lives in Newcastle. About 2 hour drive. Although because I'm only at uni I spend a fair amount of time in the North East anyways.

Well, stop being a macho twat and reach out to gay men. You don't have to fuck every gay guy you meet. Just talk to them; you don't have to find them attractive. And surely there's a gay group at uni. Get off your ass and do something.

 

[Lube]

Went to the Blyth vs Blackburn match with my mate and the brother last night.

Anyway I told him I was bi when we got some alone time and he said that he knew and that was why he confided in me about his sexuality. This shocked me coz I've always just been one of the lads. Managed to get some stuff off my chest to him and it made me feel better about it.

Excellent! That's a lot of progress. Congratulations.

See also the two quotes in my signature.

 

[cityboi]

Jay, glad you are starting to open up to someone. Tho we may think nobody knows, someone always does. Who understands a man's emotional and physical needs better than another man?