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I feel like I was Played

L

Lewis1

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So me and this guy met on another forum. I called him late one night and we had a really nice chat. Well for the next 3 weeks everynight we talked. We always fell asleep on the phone lol. We still talk everynight but. Now all he talks about is how this other guy he likes on the forum is so sexy and how they talk and how he jerked off with him on the phone. And in a way I dont mind talking about another guy but the way things were going its like we were dating on the phone seems like. We shared alot of personal stuff. Discussed things of a sexual nature. It was just a nice exhange and bond we have.

Well I have started catching feelings for him & i thought he felt the same way & i still do kinda.

He gets jealous & upset when he knows im texting some of my other friends.

But he constantly talks about 2 -3 guys in particular calling and texting him.

I think he might be wainting on a jealousy response but I am not gonna say anything.

I think hes over whatever we started building and has written me off as a potential Boyfriend Our conversations are more like Brothers now.

But I just feel played

Am i wrong for feeling this way
 
I don't think you were played, but there is a window of opportunity and a chemistry that is so nebulous that I don't think it can be taught or learned. In time I hope you'll get philosophical about such things and tell yourself it wasn't meant to be.

You did nothing wrong and neither did he. Your time will come.
 
3 weeks and you never went on a real date? What were you expecting, a lifelong online romance? He probably got bored.
 
Spiff said:
3 weeks and you never went on a real date? What were you expecting, a lifelong online romance? He probably got bored.
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No I think at the end of the day we are good friends but

he said we had a bond and that we like each other lol

and hes entertaining another guy from the same forum hes just going alot faster seems like with him though
 
Seasoned said:
I don't think you were played, but there is a window of opportunity and a chemistry that is so nebulous that I don't think it can be taught or learned. In time I hope you'll get philosophical about such things and tell yourself it wasn't meant to be.

You did nothing wrong and neither did he. Your time will come.
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I am sorry but that sounds kinda patronizing lol

What do you mean a window of opportunity.

DId we move to slow/fast what?
 
I think what Seasoned meant was that theres a time frame for how long romantic feelings can grow... If nothing comes of it or if someone else comes along then it might not be in your cards...

I would be happy for just a great friendship to come out of it. While you are still lovesick though, it might be wise to distance yourself from him and find some other people to talk to.
 
I agree with the "window of opportunity" point of view. If you're interested in somebody sexually, you usually have to make a move fairly quickly, before they get restless and move on to somebody else.

This guy may not have understood what your feelings for him were. He may have thought you just wanted to be buddies.

So at this point you have to decide whether you're willing to go on with the relationship as it is, or whether that would just leave you with bad feelings.
 
SonOfSlobone said:
I agree with the "window of opportunity" point of view. If you're interested in somebody sexually, you usually have to make a move fairly quickly, before they get restless and move on to somebody else.

This guy may not have understood what your feelings for him were. He may have thought you just wanted to be buddies.

So at this point you have to decide whether you're willing to go on with the relationship as it is, or whether that would just leave you with bad feelings.
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You had the opportunity to "seal the deal" and didn't. You can only hypothetically flirt across the room for so long before someone needs to make a move. If neither does, one is bound to move onto the next person. He basically egged you on and you either misread his signal or just dismissed it.

I've made that mistake too and I think almost every person has also. Now if I am actually interested in a guy, I jump at the opportunity. So what if it fizzles out. I at least don't have to ponder "what if?"
 
I see well I thought I did drop a few clues and he just ignored them lol

I guess i was just to scared to put it all out there I wanted it to be mutual at the same time y know
 
Lewis1 said:
I see well I thought I did drop a few clues and he just ignored them lol

I guess i was just to scared to put it all out there I wanted it to be mutual at the same time y know
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Well, there you go. A life lesson learned. You have to be proactive in what you want. Also, only talking to someone on a forum and over the phone without even meeting is not dating. It's not a relationship. It's not real.
 
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