I feel lonely.

[SmileForMe]

It's almost Christmas, and I'm all alone. I've left most of my friends because they're all dramatic and two-faced. I don't like bullshit. Especially not when its from people I consider "friends".

I don't have my mom, shes in another Province and my fathers a drug addict who laughs in my face every time I try to speak to him. I'm not very good at making friends, to be honest I don't really know how. Lately I've been so stressed out and barely have time for myself. Get up at 7 go to school from 9-2 then work from 4-10. I usually get home and go to sleep.

I don't really know why I'm posting this, I guess I don't know how to get by.
I know there are many people out there who's got it worse. I just don't like the all alone feeling. Can anyone give me any advice on starting new?

 

[biguy562]

Hey man! I am sorry that you feel lonely. I understand where you are coming from because I am the same way. Although or situations are different they are the same. We are both at the same conclusion, feeling lonely. I thought I had fond a best friend but they turned out not to be even friends at all. I am like you though, I have a hard time making friends as well...it sucks! I have tried dating sites and all that. The friends I do have are either married or dating which makes me the third wheel and that's even worse. The only advice I can give is to just hang in there and not let it overwhelm you....other than that I need help on too.

 

[elephunk]

I know how you feel. To any outside person, it seems like I've got a lot of good things going for me... and I do.... but I feel empty and lonely. Even hanging out with my friends, I feel lonely.

 

[SkinnyBoi87]

I know how you feel. To any outside person, it seems like I've got a lot of good things going for me... and I do.... but I feel empty and lonely. Even hanging out with my friends, I feel lonely.

Ditto That's exactly how I feel too. Especially when the holidays get closer

 

[Kisuke]

I'm so sorry to hear that! Maybe start by making friends at work/school ? If you find someone interesting, just ask and see if they'd like to go out for coffee or grab a bite together! And work from there.

 

[toedipper]

Hey, I've been learning about loneliness lately. Loneliness doesn't just go away on it's own. You have to do some work to understand and change how you feel. It sounds like you don't have a ton of supports in your life. Is there anyone who you can talk to (outside your father/lame friends) ? Just to vent these feelings.

Here are a few questions and thoughts that might make you reflect on your loneliness a bit.

Usually when I'm feeling lonely I am dwelling on lonely thoughts. I wish I had a boyfriend, or why am I home alone, or, no one calls me. I usually get trapped in a cycle of these thoughts and I get lonelier. To get out of that cycle, I have to remind myself that my thoughts are just thoughts and I can just let them pass. I don't have to focus on them.

Then usually try to find an activity I can do or go out by myself, if I have to, where I either force myself to be around people or i am doing something that is more interesting than dwelling on lonely thoughts. It can be tough but sometimes that can kick me out of my cycle. Do you have a similar cycle?

What do you think will make you less lonely?

 

[SmileForMe]

I'm so sorry to hear that! Maybe start by making friends at work/school ? If you find someone interesting, just ask and see if they'd like to go out for coffee or grab a bite together! And work from there.

Thanks Kisuke. It sounds like a good idea but I have trouble speaking to people I've never spoken to before. And most of the people at school think I'm a weirdo.
I have to admit, I am haha. Well maybe its just my style that makes me seem scary or something.

Hey, I've been learning about loneliness lately. Loneliness doesn't just go away on it's own. You have to do some work to understand and change how you feel. It sounds like you don't have a ton of supports in your life. Is there anyone who you can talk to (outside your father/lame friends) ? Just to vent these feelings.

Here are a few questions and thoughts that might make you reflect on your loneliness a bit.

Usually when I'm feeling lonely I am dwelling on lonely thoughts. I wish I had a boyfriend, or why am I home alone, or, no one calls me. I usually get trapped in a cycle of these thoughts and I get lonelier. To get out of that cycle, I have to remind myself that my thoughts are just thoughts and I can just let them pass. I don't have to focus on them.

Then usually try to find an activity I can do or go out by myself, if I have to, where I either force myself to be around people or i am doing something that is more interesting than dwelling on lonely thoughts. It can be tough but sometimes that can kick me out of my cycle. Do you have a similar cycle?

What do you think will make you less lonely?

Well I guess my cycle is pretty similar to yours. Then I think about the future and think that theres not much in it for me. But its not like I know what the future will bring. Honestly, I think I just want good friends. I guess a boyfriend wouldn't be too bad. I've never been in a relationship actually. Most people date a lot while they're young but I've never done it.

 

[rareboy]

Hey Bud.

We've all been there ( or many guys anyway).

You're shy and not confident about making friends....

Why do people at school think you're a weirdo?

Now here's something really simple and really economical to do. Start doing this and you are going to see a big difference in your life.

Start smiling and saying hello to everyone you run into.

This is so easy. Every person you have in class. Your teachers. Bus drivers. Everyone. Everyday. Even when you might not think you're in the mood.

Ask people how they are that day. And smile at them.

Ask people you'd like to get to know for easy things.

A lot of young kids set themselves up as non-comformists or weird as a defense mechanism...and then find it apparently had the desired effect to the detriment of their social life.

So. Normalize some. Meet people halfway. Try to show some real interest and enthusiasm for the things they like while trying to expose them to new ideas and experiences too.

Get out and volunteer to help some organization. Seriously. Learn to live beyond the boundaries of your own ego.

Ignore your father and leave home as soon as you possibly can. Don't get sucked into the vortex of the failure of his life.

We're all rooting for you.

 

[thephoenix]

Good advice rareboy

 

[SmileForMe]

Hey Bud.

We've all been there ( or many guys anyway).

You're shy and not confident about making friends....

Why do people at school think you're a weirdo?

Now here's something really simple and really economical to do. Start doing this and you are going to see a big difference in your life.

Start smiling and saying hello to everyone you run into.

This is so easy. Every person you have in class. Your teachers. Bus drivers. Everyone. Everyday. Even when you might not think you're in the mood.

Ask people how they are that day. And smile at them.

Ask people you'd like to get to know for easy things.

A lot of young kids set themselves up as non-comformists or weird as a defense mechanism...and then find it apparently had the desired effect to the detriment of their social life.

So. Normalize some. Meet people halfway. Try to show some real interest and enthusiasm for the things they like while trying to expose them to new ideas and experiences too.

Get out and volunteer to help some organization. Seriously. Learn to live beyond the boundaries of your own ego.

Ignore your father and leave home as soon as you possibly can. Don't get sucked into the vortex of the failure of his life.

We're all rooting for you.

I agree with the post above mine. Thank you for the good advice. I will do that. I promise.

 

[toedipper]

Exactly, start taking some more risks!

 

[jawswho]

Just try to go out and meet new people. I know it's easier said than done but your still pretty young so you have plenty of time. I waited a little late in life to put myself out there but now that I have I've met a lot of new people and usually have something to do. I usually try to avoid the Drama to. It's a pain in the ass. Hope you get feeling better!

 

[birddog7]

I know exactly how you feel. I am the same way. I really don't have any advice, but do whatever it takes to get over it.

 

[Swmr2009]

I feel the exact same way

 

[HunterM]

I agree with the post above mine. Thank you for the good advice. I will do that. I promise.

Do that and let us know your progress

 

[LostMxz]

Hey Bud.

We've all been there ( or many guys anyway).

You're shy and not confident about making friends....

Why do people at school think you're a weirdo?

Now here's something really simple and really economical to do. Start doing this and you are going to see a big difference in your life.

Start smiling and saying hello to everyone you run into.

This is so easy. Every person you have in class. Your teachers. Bus drivers. Everyone. Everyday. Even when you might not think you're in the mood.

Ask people how they are that day. And smile at them.

Ask people you'd like to get to know for easy things.

A lot of young kids set themselves up as non-comformists or weird as a defense mechanism...and then find it apparently had the desired effect to the detriment of their social life.

So. Normalize some. Meet people halfway. Try to show some real interest and enthusiasm for the things they like while trying to expose them to new ideas and experiences too.

Get out and volunteer to help some organization. Seriously. Learn to live beyond the boundaries of your own ego.

Really good advice!

I know how you feel, past year I have really grown apart from some of my best friends and just don't go out as often as I used to with them.

With my family this Christmas, but its still a little bit of a downer I don't have anyone close at the moment

Just started college and its been great meeting new people, and I can't say how well putting yourself out and just doing something as simple of smiling and saying 'Hi' actually works. And joining clubs or organisations and volunteering is great, I'm a volunteer police officer and its a fantastic life experience - certainly meet some colorful characters to say the least!

 

[Charmander]

I am lonely too. Always been kind of bookwormish, never much of one to capitalize on friendship advances, or keep the few that I have. You're not alone. We're in this together...

BTW, your pic is cute.

 

[jjlover]

Smileforme. Don't get too down on yourself. I am shy myself and don't have a lot of close friends to talk with. It is easy to get into ruts and feel sorry for yourself. But, you just need to keep plugging away and get yourself out there.

You have some great advice above and the smiling/saying hi others is a great idea. I have done it and it does work. You are young and have a lot to look forward to. You are very cute and I am sure you can find someone good out there if you try.

We are always here for you, too!

 

[joshBTW]

You know what really sucks about feeling lonely? That you know there is amazing people all around the world feeling just like you.

Damn it why can't people who feel lonely like us be together, and then not be lonely anymore? lol

 

[SmileForMe]

Amen to that josh. And thanks everybody, you guys made my night. Thanks for giving me advice.