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I feel lost

Y

ytnes87

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I've been on this site for awhile, and it looks like this is my first post but that's because I had to create a new username since i forgot what my last one was. ANYWAY.

I have been feeling really down lately and I can't really talk to anyone here at home about it. I live in a small town in upstate NY and I just graduated from college. I got my bachelor's in psychology, and while I was in school i was really excited and thought it would help me. Turns out, I paid a lot of money for a bachelor's degree that's worth next to nothing. I've been searching for weeks for a job and have come up short thanks to my worthless degree, the fact that I had to move back home to this shit town, and because the job market and economy are the way they are. I feel so useless all the time and I really don't want to bite the bullet and work some shitty retail job when I've earned this degree.

Everyday I keep thinking about all of my regrets and I'm just stuck in a rut. I keep kicking myself because i didn't apply to graduate school last year, and also because my grades weren't what they could have been. My dream is to work in the city and live there, and everything I've tried thus far (job searching, teachforamerica, americorps) has fallen through. What compounds this is that there is no one here for me. I have one friend, and absolutely no prospects in the romance department. At least at school I had a couple random hookups. But here, there is NO ONE. My parents keep telling me I should go to graduate school here at home because it's cheap. But I can't help but think, the longer I resign myself to staying here, the more of a chance I won't escape. I need to thrive in new york, not somewhere where i feel completely suffocated. Both of my parents were born and raised here, and went to college here. They have no idea what it's like to leave this town and meet new people and see new things. My worst fear is that I'll become one of them. I don't know the purpose of me writing all of this, I guess I just feel like this was the best place for me to get it all out. The worst is when I go on facebook and end up looking at other friends' pictures and shit about how they're all having a great time post-college. I feel like i'm the only person who ended up having to move home and i absolutely hate it. I constantly have to remind myself to stop comparing myself to other people, but it's so hard when all of it is constantly in my face. Bottom line, I guess i'm just in a place that I didn't think i would be when i was in the prime of my college life. It went from such an amazing high at school to this dismal low where everyone is gone.. and it hurts a lot.
 
Senty, I went through the same thing after I graduated college, although I had a business degree but it was still tough on me to find a job that I had to move home...trust me when I say it'll get better.

If you want to go to grad school than go to grad school. As long as your grades were decent and you do well on the GRE or GMAT you could get into a great college in NY. Don't be afraid to take a shitty job right away...I worked at Target until I got my big break after graduation. You will be ok :)
 
While all may seem lost, there is still hope. If you really want to be in NYC, then that's were you need to be. Contact temp agencies and see if you can get a job. They often hire college graduates. The money will suck and it won't be a "real" job. What it will do is allow you to be in NYC while you look for a real job. Just a thought. Good luck!
 
What you are experiencing is the classic paralysis of depression..

"My life is a mess which has made me depressed but I'm too depressed to do anything to change it"

So, the question for you is whether changing these things in your life- job, school, romance- are going to bring you out of your depression or whether treating your depression will change these things in your life.

My hunch is that you need to deal with your depression first but that's just a hunch.
 
Follow your heart. From what I gleaned from your post it sounds like you have a fairly certain idea of what you want to be doing, you just aren't doing it. Certainly a good portion of that is depression which you certainly sound like (and acting like). If you take care of that, a lot of things will start falling into place for you (its like magic once the fog and black veil of depression lifts). There are numerous ways to treat depression, but with a psychology degree I would imagine you would have some inkling of those ways (even if you aren't into clinical psych and didn't dive into that area I am sure you had a decent amount of exposure).

Also, as a quick tip for a decent job thats a little better than the typical retail job (in my view at least) is a pharmacy tech. In most states or perhaps all you have to be licensed, but I don't believe there is anything difficult or what not in actually getting licensed. In some places its just a matter of getting registered and perhaps showing some competency in math and jobs are usually out there as well. And that type of job isn't just confined to your typical pharmacy at Walgreens but also includes hospital pharmacy and mail order pharmacy. Whether that interests you or not, I don't know, but its a suggestion of a job that should be out there that might be more appealing than working the typical sales or cashier job at some retail store.
 
Senty,

I cannot even begin to imagine what this experience is for you. I know you are in a huge slump, but you have a choice to get out of it too. It's too chessy to say look on the brighter side of things, but the reality is, if you want to get out you gotta give a little to get a little. You have infinite power to create a change in your life. Tap into it and begin the journey back to your original dreams of living in NYC.
 
I also agree that you need to deal with this depression episode first and then make a plan on how you are going to achieve your academic and job goals.

In the first instance, if so many kids didn't have the option of moving back in with mummy and daddy, they'd be a lot more motivated and self-reliant.

You are just dealing with the classic 'I failed so I'm now stuck at home' Get over it. Leave home. Strike out on the adventure of your lifetime without having the safety net of your old room waiting for you.

Do something outside your degree.

Go to New York.

But first, I'd sit down with your family doc and make sure you don't have mild to moderate clinical depression that should be dealt with first.
 
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