I found the guy, how do I snag him?

[Bartman]

Hey,

Haven't posted for a while. Anyway, I went to see a film with a group of friends a number of months ago and this guy came along, James, who goes kick boxing with a few of my mates. I thought he was cute, but then I didn't see him for a while.

Then recently I overheard one of my friends declare he was gay and I couldn't believe it, because he does not seem even remotely gay. So I started to go kick boxing (not just because of James, my friends have been asking me to attend for a while) and I've been able to interact with him a little bit and I've really grown to like him. There seems to be a small connection between us, but nothing that seems for certain though.

Now this is the tricky part. James hasn't told any of them that he is gay, they have all picked up on it after spotting him in the street with another guy - and he supposedly dated a guy who used to go kick boxing, but they were not open about it (the other guy was openly gay and they constantly hung out together, so it was assumed - plus they've known him for years and he's never had a girlfriend).

I want to ask him out, but how do u ask someone who hasn't necessarily come out? I'm worried it would make him feel awkward, especially if I continue to attend kick boxing.

Just need some advice.

 

[G-Lexington]

Well, it looks like the empirical evidence is favorable, but there's still no guarantee. So don't assume until you know.

Instead, why not get to know him a bit better first? Strike up some more conversations with him, maybe invite him out for coffee afterwards (or smoothies, or whatever one gets after kickboxing). "Hey, I'm gonna go grab a coffee - you want to join me?" As your conversations become longer and more friendly, let him know that you're gay/bisexual if he doesn't know already. Don't "announce", but make it clear. "It's been awhile since I've had a steady boyfriend" would do the trick. That's his opening. Let him take it from there.

Lex

 

[JackFTwist]

lex has given perfect advice

 

[FastHabit]

Depends on how bold and sure of his "status" you are. Lex's advice is great if you're uncertain.

If I'm certain, my style is to be straight forward - tell him you think he's really hot, that you dig guys and he turns you on. Then ask him if he'd like to get to know you better.

 

[thanol]

Make sure he's single too.

 

[Bartman]

Hey guys,

Thanks for the advice. It would be hard to find out if he's single because he seems to keep his private life, well, private. But I guess I could find a time to ask, or drop a hint. I was on my phone the other day and some guy asked me, is that your girlfriend? So I could try a similar thing.

I think you got it spot on for me Lex, thanks for the wisdom. One of my friends (he's the only one that knows I like this guy and he also attends kickboxing) gave similar advice and said to try and get to know him more, show him that we have things in common, and then ask him out to the cinema or for a drink. I agree, I think this is the best way to go, it's just annoying that I only get to see him once a week. Plus, kickboxing goes on till 10:00pm, so it's hard to ask him to come out afterwards, everyone pretty much wants to get home. But that doesn't mean I can't ask him to come out another time, I guess. It's just hard for me, I need to build up my courage a bit.

Thanks again everyone.

 

[gameboy 11]

Yeah. Courage is a key factor in this. I recommend that you just be straight with him. Tell him you want his company, and you'd enjoy it if he went to a movie with you or something. Don't be afraid to tell him how you feel. I'm sure he'll like that!

Besides that, I don't know what to say!

Go get em, tiger!!