I have a problem w/ the age of guys I like

[JackFTwist]

friend, as you go through your life your tastes will change, what attracts you will change

you seem to operating at about what I always did - a 6-8 year age range - I'll bet that when you are 40 your attraction will be to young thirties, not teenagers

it just adjusts in life as you go along


and now, why worry about things so far in the future? tomorrow has enough problems, none of which we can know, and creating them now and worrying about them does not bring happiness -

enjoy today and let tomorrow be what it will be

 

[maxxximum]

i suppose its the "young look" that you like. im 24 and apparently to most people i look about 18-19.

 

[NickCole]

Being attracted to youth doesn't always change as we grow older. Depends on where it comes from.

Obviously, some older guys obsessively drool over young guys.

I think, Theodore, your gut is telling you something's off and you'd be smart to explore what it is while you're still young. As you suspect, it'll be a lot easier now than later. And if your attraction to teens is a normal growth process, you won't lose anything by looking into what it's about.

Some people are able to explore their inner selves on their own, some need help drawing their deeper selves out. If you need help doing that, find it. Not only might it help in this situation but you may develop tools for dealing with problems that'll be useful the rest of your life.

 

[JackFTwist]

tastes in everything chnage as one goes through life

there are a few who got stuck in something but a very few and there is no eason to pre-suppose a problem where none exists

trust me, at 40, you will still recognise a hot 18 year old when you see one, but your real age-range for attraction will have moved right along through life with you

 

[Just1Cool]

I agree with Jack. The only thing I would add is that as you get older (I'm 31 now), the qualities we consider "attractive" also change. When we are young kids, the primary emphasis for attraction is looks.

As you get older looks remain an important component of attraction, ie, pure lust. But it is joined by a very pronounced desire to find "chemistry" with our partner.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a hot guy who has no personal chemistry with you? Probably not.

The reality is that most of the people you will have chemistry with in life are your contemporaries, people within a few years of your age, who grew up with the similar common experiences, etc. Tastes change to accomodate these realities.

 

[maxxximum]

^ not necessarily. it largely depends on the person. some guys never lose their attraction towards younger men, other do. i consider myself really lucky as i have never found myself attracted to only one group of men, barring the extremes (superchubs, little kids, the elderly etc). Theodore might still find 17 year olds sexy, but I trust that as maturity takes hold, other qualities will override purely physical ones.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Welcome to most of the human population which is obsessively attracted to teen youth. At my age and looks, I've been hit on by men who are in their forties and fifties. You may stay attracted to teens or you may move on. Either way, you live in an area where 16 is the age-of-consent. From my experience, there is no shortage of boys looking for older men. So relax, and don't feel so dirty about yourself.

 

[skaterboi]

Sorta got the same problem, I'm 20 and look 16 so naturally am also attracted to guys who look 16-20. Not worried about it though as long as any guy would be willing and of legal age then its all that matters.
Don't beat yourself up mate, enjoy it while you're young enough to!

 

[xyzguy]

I wonder what is going to happen when you become old.

Hopefully not old and alone.

But wait, lets think about it, lets say you find the love of your life, some 16 year old. Are you going to stop loving him when he grows old just like you?

 

[Diodorus]

Well you can do what a person I worked with did as you age. Cosmetic surgery. I guess it works because I thought he was much younger than he is. I was surprised to learn he is in his fourties.

In this particular persons case he's also a bit air headed and vain which lends a bit to the youthful illusion he is working so hard to project.

 

[gaz1978]

Gotta agree with JackTwist on this one - as you get older, so do your tastes. When I was 17/18, I only fancied 17/18 year olds, but 10 years on, my age range has followed me. Dont get me wrong, some 18 years olds get my dick hard straight away, but 28 year olds do too! The 2 guys I fancy most are both my age.

 

[NickCole]

Gotta agree with JackTwist on this one - as you get older, so do your tastes. When I was 17/18, I only fancied 17/18 year olds, but 10 years on, my age range has followed me. Dont get me wrong, some 18 years olds get my dick hard straight away, but 28 year olds do too! The 2 guys I fancy most are both my age.

While I don't doubt this has been your experience, where did you get the idea that everybody is the same?

This guy has asked for advice about himself. I'm amazed at how many people in this thread gave him advice based upon themselves.

I don't mean to slam you, or anyone here. But while it can be very useful to hear about other people's experiences, I just don't get the assumption that, based upon the way other people's personal growth has gone, he should dismiss his gut concern about his own.

 

[drhladnjak]

I agree with Jack. The only thing I would add is that as you get older (I'm 31 now), the qualities we consider "attractive" also change. When we are young kids, the primary emphasis for attraction is looks.

As you get older looks remain an important component of attraction, ie, pure lust. But it is joined by a very pronounced desire to find "chemistry" with our partner.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a hot guy who has no personal chemistry with you? Probably not.

The reality is that most of the people you will have chemistry with in life are your contemporaries, people within a few years of your age, who grew up with the similar common experiences, etc. Tastes change to accomodate these realities.

I agree a lot with this post. I still find 18 year olds as visually appealing as I always have. I've just found that as I get older, most guys in their early 20s and younger are just not worth getting involved with--too much drama, too idealistic for an increasingly bitter jaded queen like myself, etc. That's not to say they're all like that (because they're not), but I just tend to relate better to guys my own age. For most guys, that clickage starts to become more important as time goes on and wild oats have been sown.

 

[Danugh]

I know what you mean.

 

[Just1Cool]

I don't mean to slam you, or anyone here. But while it can be very useful to hear about other people's experiences, I just don't get the assumption that, based upon the way other people's personal growth has gone, he should dismiss his gut concern about his own.

I'm not exactly sure what you're getting at here.

Any advice or opinion anyone gives is going to naturally be based upon their own experiences and perceptions of the world. OP is asking for advice, so we're giving it the best we can, from our own, more experienced perspectives.

 

[Tizzy333]

Well, youre 25 years old and you like a 16 years old? As of now, I'd say its normal =) Often, our tastes move on with us, so I wouldn't worry too much about it as of now, though I do must say that if in, lets say, 5 years, you still feel attracted ONLY towards boys around 16 you should try some conceling =) I used to be sorta scared too, I've always liked younger boys than me, so it was abit worrysome when I was 14 and stared at someone who was like 11, I was often worried with "OMFG will I always be like that?" And, as to make things worse, the thought of guys even sightly older used to put me off, at 14 years old I didnt even like most 15 years olds, dunno why XD It was sorta stressing, I must admit, but thankfully I noticed my tastes did grow with me, so I'm not worried alot about it ATM, I like younger guys, but not in a way that would worry me =) Also, as you grow, you'll probably never stop noticing when someone's hot, hell, I've looked at 13-14 years olds who are friends of ma lil brother and I do recognize theyre fine -- However, I simply recognize it, I dont feel any attraction at all towards having a relationship of that sort with anyone under 16 (im 19), since I do think the age gap is way too big, and that would probably cause huge problems -- and the fact that I do recognize theyre cute but dont feel like getting off to them would also be a stopper XD

I'd just say not to worry too much by now, but do try to keep an eye on it, if it worries you too much, ever thought about contacting a psychologist? I think s/he will most likely give u a better answer than me =)

 

[JackFTwist]

To the guy above, if I was 54 (god...cant and dont want to imagine myself at that age)

oh gees thanks


you think anyone does at your age?

you think you will avoid being this age without dying along the way?

its how you get here that counts - and all I can say I did it the best way possible

 

[Sam_UK]

Maybe I should find a cute Asian guy...they seem to age 3x slower than white guys .

Now that made me laugh out loud hehe

i dont really know what to say, ive found myself attracted to the younger looking guys, although ive seemed to find guy my age who looked young.

If also actually got a 15yo after me, although i didnt know he was 15 at the time, he told me quite early on, and i made it very clear to him that nothin would be happening as he is under the legal limit, however cute he maybe lol somehow i just think it would be morally incorrect even when he was 16, jus get a weird feeling if was to do anything.

I do think your own personal preferences do change with time, so i doubt u will have a problem for much longer.

Sam x

 

[gaz1978]

While I don't doubt this has been your experience, where did you get the idea that everybody is the same?

This guy has asked for advice about himself. I'm amazed at how many people in this thread gave him advice based upon themselves.

I don't mean to slam you, or anyone here. But while it can be very useful to hear about other people's experiences, I just don't get the assumption that, based upon the way other people's personal growth has gone, he should dismiss his gut concern about his own.

Thanks for singling my response out, after all I made a point nobody else did. Not.

OK, firstly, I NEVER said everyone is the same.

And secondly, if I cant give him advice based on MYSELF, then who the fuck can I base it on? Isnt that the fundamental point of advice?

 

[JackFTwist]

Sorry, didn't mean to offend you. For someone who is almost obsessed about being/staying young, turning 54 IS a scary prospect. It prolly wont be as bad when I get there (I hope) but right now its terrifying when I love being young and wish I had a holy grail to keep me young.

no offense taken!

and really you don't wish to stay young - at times I wish I could have just held for a while at some ages rather than aged - but all in all, I wouldn't go back and be your age again, been there, done that, and it had its shares of problems that I would never want to revisit - perspective and experience have something to be said for them -

but should you want to move on in life as well as you can, if I hear you, what has worked for me is staying in shape - I do the aerobics, weights, yoga thing and it has kept me in far better shape and feeling far better than a lot of guys my age (last week twice I had people think I was in my mid 40s and that is an accomplishment)

also: moisturize

and I eat rather healthy so that helps too - so I recommend it

and it is also a state of mind - staying alive to new music, new things, new adventures - I am amazed at how many of my friends, my age but much older than me - are clueless as to what is going on in the world of current culture - and these were people who used to sing "hope I die before I get old" and "don't criticise what you don't understand."

a lot has to do with dna and all that but you keep taking care of yourself and hell, there is very little, very little, that I could do at 24 that I can't do now - basically its all nighters I can't do and that's it really - life is full of possibilities, nor limitations, it is what you go for that will keep you young if you care enough to work at it, not the passing of the calendar