I have my first official conspiracy

[fabulouslyghetto]

My neighbor owns a tan pit. Yesterday he and his idiot crackhead friends lit a fire in the drum in our backyard as they often do but somehow the fire spread cuz the grass around the drum is scorched, an area of like 15ft by 10ft. I went outside shortly after and even a tree stump near the drum was burnt and still smoking.

somehow his dog is now covered snout to tail in black soot. GURL that thang went from Chris Brown to Bernie Mac. this morning i notice a few stripes on the dog along its flank, maybe where it had rolled around on the ground and some of the soot came off. and now looking out the window i noticed the dog is literally striped head to toe, like a tiger pit or whatever they're called. anyway my theory is that they purposely got the dog covered in soot so that they could sell it as a tiger pit which I believe is a rare and expensive breed. if the stripes were a result of rolling around wouldn't the stripes be random in all different directions?

my own dogs didn't even recognize him. normally when that dog is on a leash my dogs ignore him but today when they saw him (for the first time since he got his new ehhh paint job) they went ape-shit like he was unfamiliar. at first I didn't even think it was my neighbor's dog.

logically i know it's more than likely a coincidence that the stripes came out so perfect, but it's not like this kinda scam would be so implausible in america. if i can find a pic hosting site i'll take pics tomorrow but this is an exact representation of the before and after of that dog's coat.

 

[frankfrank]

I voted Fab STFU just because I CAN. lol lol

And, because THEY can:

 

[ShadowCat]

I voted no because I know horses asses that would do something like that and I think they're pretty stupid!

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

I voted Fab STFU just because I CAN. lol lol

And, because THEY can

Frank, thanks for filling my hole. Well, a hole. I recently lost a friend who was always flooding my FB timeline with dad jokes.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

I voted no because I know horses asses that would do something like that and I think they're pretty stupid!

I just can't conceive of a way that the patterns on the dog would come out exactly the way they're supposed to. how can it be anything but deliberate? I'm going to purchase a bunch of plush dogs, cover them with soot and do some CSI-type recreations to see if this is possible.

 

[frankfrank]

^ Would that be called recreational activity?

And sorry to hear about your friend. "Lost" can mean either of two different things, and neither of them is good. Both are painful, and there's never a guarantee WHICH of the two "choices" (yes, a "Sophie's choice" if anything) is inherently the most painful to the person who loses the friend, though there's no doubt that one of those is likely to affect more people worse than the other will.

 

[frankfrank]

Frank, thanks for filling my hole.

LIAR!! That's impossible - I didn't even VISIT you, lol .

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

^ Would that be called recreational activity?

And sorry to hear about your friend. "Lost" can mean either of two different things, and neither of them is good. Both are painful, and there's never a guarantee WHICH of the two "choices" (yes, a "Sophie's choice" if anything) is inherently the most painful to the person who loses the friend, though there's no doubt that one of those is likely to affect more people worse than the other will.

You are such a sweetheart