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I have reliased that i am gay what should i do next?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Football Fanatic
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Football Fanatic

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Hi, i am 18 years old and have recently reliased that i am gay and i am just asking for suggestions of what to do next

thanks for any replies
 
I think you should ask yourself that question first. What do you want to do?
 
Great list, yummers! ..|

Your next step is to grow comfortable with it. Do you feel weird or "dirty" about fantasizing about guys? If so, give yourself some more time to get used to it.

Lex
 
I agrere with Nate.

Its totally up to you. Being gay is no different than being straight (okay, well besides the obvious)... Just keep living your life! Of course now that you have finalyl realized your sexual preference, you might have to look for different partners ;).

I'd say your next step is to figure out what you want. You're gay, great! Now what do you want? Friends? A relationship? Friends with benefits? Well, most of those can be found by meeting other gay folks! If your town has an active gay community, that might be a good place to start looking for people to hang out with. If your simply looking to get your rocks off, well I don't think it should be too hard to find that if you try a little... ;)

Are you wanting to announce your orientation to the world? I.E. Come out? For some coming out is a crucial part in the realization process of being gay, but not everyone feels that you need to 'come out' to accept the fact you are gay. My newly formed opinion (thanks to my friend Brian:-)) is if someone asks, I'll tell them, but I don't feel the need to go up to everyone and say hi I'm gay, nice to meet you. Some may disagree, but I'm sure you'll get tons of advice on this fourm on the subject and between all our opinions, you'll be able to choose from the lot or make your a opinion of your own.

Those are my two cents, mate! Congratulations on the self realization and I hope to see more post on here from ya!
 
I would just go with the flow of things and see where life takes you. It has probably been a long road to get to this self-realization, and it may even be longer before you are completely okay with it. I would go with the advice of the people above me and see if you can't make some new friends in the gay community. This helped me grow more comfortable with my sexuality when I first came out. You also may not be ready to completely come out yet to everyone, but that is okay. You have taken a big step already in figuring out who you are. There is not step by step guide on what we are supposed to do when we realize we aren't straight. However, we all seem to turn out okay in the end.

Congrats :)
 
I fell in love with the first guy I slept with, and we were together for seven months. I think it is okay to require romance before sex - at least that's the way I was at your age. I was very romantic and would not have sex unless there was an emotional involvement. I started out by making friends first and took my time before I got around to sleeping with anyone, but then I was being difficult and played hard to get. Some people are easy and some people aren't. I still find it difficult to separate sex and emotion.

Find some gay friends first. I joined a gay student union when I was in college, and that was very helpful.
 
a lot of good advice shared here

I also like to echo what LarsVenice mentioned about finding gay friends first.

It can be very tough, from my experience, if/when you make your first relationship with a man your everything (as in friend, lover, mentor...etc.).

Just consider how you have your non-gay friends that you lean on for support in non-gay matters...and how that has helped for better outcomes/situations.

The same dynamic applies within gay(bi) related matters.
 
First off do you have any gay friends those will most likely be the best to come out to...baby steps also find out what your city has to offer to the gay community, and that does not mean just gay bar....um excuse me pubs. it can mean a whole world of things for gay football leagues to travel and to find these. is all just a few taps on you keyboard. There is a brave world out there make of it what you want.
 
(*8*) the first big step i say is to just give yourself some time, and it helps to talk and share your feelings with others, i would suggest JUB. it is a great community, alot of great people, and great advice. things have been so much easier since i made some acquaintances on here. good luck buddy, feel free to post anytime, we can all help eachother here.
 
theirs two very different things from realising that you're gay and accepting it, the first thing you should do is accept yourself for who you are and be happy that you are gay.
but like the others have said dont rush into things, take everything one step at a time and do what you want to do not what someone else wants. i would say if youve already got some gay friends seeking advice from them is a good idea, if you dont youve always got everyone on these boards who will be more than willing to offer advice :)
 
thank you to all of the people who have replied, I didn't expect so many replies
 
leNate said:
I think you should ask yourself that question first. What do you want to do?
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I don't know what to do, at college talking about gay people is a big taboo depite being a college in brighton and there are no gay people that i know and i am to scared to come out.
 
Football Fanatic said:
I don't know what to do, at college talking about gay people is a big taboo depite being a college in brighton and there are no gay people that i know and i am to scared to come out.
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only come out when you want to come out. after all it is personal info, and you dont have to if you dont want to...AND it is none of their businsess anyways. after all, they havent come out to you and told you they were straight!!! even still, i bet there are some bi and gays amoung you, and they are just as good as hiding it as you are, and likely just as nervous.
 
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